Unprocessed

We often think procrastination is about avoiding a task, when in reality it's about avoiding feelings associated with those tasks. In this episode, I explore how the more I care about something, the more something or someone is important to me, the bigger my urge to procrastinate is. Listen in to learn about why this is and what I am doing to address it. This podcast is for educational and inf...

I reflect on a time when I used loyalty and dedication as a way to self-abandon. How I rebranded familiarity as authenticity to avoid leaving my “home” (the people and places most familiar) and how “homelessness” to find a home where everyone could be and no one had to leave themselves behind. In this episode I dig into why it’s hard to chose growth and why most of us ditch to return to what we kn...

This episode explores how gossip is actually the substitute for connection and why it feels both so good and so bad. I get into the ways that gossip historically allowed me to feel close to authority figures and also what it hid me from knowing. Don't miss this short, sweet and juicy endeavor into talking shit! This podcast is for educational and informational purposes only and is not intended...

In this week's episode I talk about how I did something disappointing to another person, how hard this was to do and the three things that enabled me to do it: looking at the relationship between my authentic side and who I purported to be, the reality about healthy people's ability to tolerate disappointment, and the relationship between desire and conflict. This is a juicy one that is fo...

In this week's episode I explore my relationship to fantasy and how fantasy can be something that makes you feel alive or prevents you from living in reality. I share about how having a fantasy often gets layered with guilt or fear about what it means--as we let ourselves know our urges (sexual or angry in nature perhaps) can feel dystonic/misaligned with the version of ourselves that is more...

In this week's episode I examine the trend of saying "I am done" working so hard, living for others, avoiding my wants, once we hit midlife. I explore the 3 reasons (hint: we believe we have to suffer before we can get permission to choose joy) why this might be and share about how I am approaching my wants at this life stage.  This podcast is for educational and informational purpos...

This week I unpack the different texture of my relationship to discipline--an empowered commitment to my goals--and compulsion--an automatic behavior to alleviate anxiety. I share about how you can tell what your intention is by listening to the tone of voice in your head (hint: self-criticism and compulsion go hand in hand) and how to unearth what your compulsions are hiding. Whether its related...

In this week's episode I talk about the pressure many of us feel to be a knower and my urge to cover up something I didn't know. I explore why I believe humans do this, how it relates to both identity, social cache and risking belonging, and my surprising finding that I trust people who admit that they don't know more than I do ones who always know. Could confidence be revealed in what...

This episode I talk about facing my denial, why I haven't and explain from a trauma-informed perspective how we compartmentalize some of our truths in order to exist, how this helps and also how it harms. I welcome the time it takes to move through pain, knowing it will take time, but not letting myself believe that this is a bad thing in a culture that prompts me to move fast. We'll get t...

Every happiness report names connection as a healing agent, memes taut the promise of connected relationships, and yet people report a high level of isolation right now. In this episode, I share the interpersonal reasons why we don’t get the connection we want, what makes it so hard, and the uncommon ways I’ve addressed receiving and claiming connection in my own life. This podcast is for educatio...

In this week’s episode I share about a decision not to confront someone who hurt me. I explore the question, how do you decide when to address with the source and when to heal on your own? This podcast is for educational and informational purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for professional mental health treatment, diagnosis, or therapy. Listening to this podcast does not establish a...

In this episode I explore the difficult dual reality of caring for someone deeply even though you don't feel secure with them. I share about how I approached a relationship I was drawn to, but every time I left, ruminated on the conversation, questioned myself, and questioned them, and what I decided to do about it. I also explore why this love/don't trust dynamic might be appealing based on early...

In this episode I explore what I believe all the parenting advice is doing to us--it's making us feel like we should be implementing interventions constantly. It also is hinged on the belief that we should do these things so our kids don't become bad people. This is preventing us from delighting, from putting ourselves first, from feeling peace. Listen in to learn about how I am approachin...

I talk about a recent time when I felt irked, and what I learned about what is underneath. Irritability is rarely just "being annoyed," and can be an indicator of an unmet need, unexpressed genuine anger, or a deeper sadness. Listen in to learn about how I discovered what was under mine. This podcast is for educational and informational purposes only and is not intended as a substitute f...

A therapist wrote in a Facebook group "I don't want to be a therapist anymore" and hundreds commented basically saying #metoo. In this episode, I reveal what it's like to be healing from the collective pain that I am supporting others in living better through, and in the end break down--revealing not only the "what" it's like to be in a hard moment, but the "ho...

I talk about how being admired was a place I used to hide to feel safe and how I came to the realization that admiration was actually an unsafe place for me because it kept me isolated. Many of us don't want to reveal our flaws because we worry they will compromise our connections--but what can we say about connections that don't include our true, varied, flawed selves. Listen in to explor...

Living with the irreconcilable means living in discord. It means staying with someone you love but don't trust. Or choosing one life but longing for another. In my case, it means loving travel and choosing to travel internationally with 3 small children: I choose both the adventure and the sleeplessness. In this week's episode, I share about the psychological process of splitting, where we...

In this week’s episode, I reflect with my friend and mother of 5, Vanessa Cornell, on what it is like to age in a culture that doesn’t want us to. I talk about this moment in my life, as I get closer to 40, and reflect on the messages I’ve gotten about what is beautiful, pretty privilege, the problems with body positivity, living in a culture that treats every hormonal shift as a problem that has...

Those of us who have been rewarded for getting it right, often have a hidden side that wants to fuck shit up. What do we do with this side, amidst our responsibilities and morals? In this week's episode, I explore the psychology of the eldest daughter's plight and a conversation I had with my 7 year old about how to decide which side to let drive. This is for all the rule followers who are...

In this week's episode I talk about how joyless it can feel to try to be the person you want to be. That the reward you get comes later, not in the immediate aftermath. How exhausting it can be to practice restraint when you want to scream, and how triggering restraining can be for those of us who have over functioned and done it our whole lives. This episode is a big exhale for anyone who has...

In this week's episode, I talk about how sometimes when we feel more, it can make us question our healing. I share about how when I feel more anger, I realize that feeling "worse" is actually getting me closer to my truth. Many of us confuse anxiety relief with feeling "good," but it's not emotional freedom. Listen in as I differentiate between feeling "right"...

We are living in the time when many people are revealing vulnerable things, but not in a vulnerable way. It's not only what we say but how we say it that is the true reveal. I talk about how I've wordsmithed, in order to share what is sort of true, but not the heart of what is true. In Lily King's book she says "The truth has nothing to do with the facts." Are you living in t...

When we have to skip certain developmental experiences as children, we may try to have that experience in adulthood. I share about the fun I didn't have and how that shows up in my present life. In this episode I explore, both the necessity of and potential parameters needed in order to get to fuck up, without fucking up our lives. I get into how questioning your life choices may be evidence,...

In the final episode of 2025, I explore how there is no one size fits all method for healing--for some of us it's staying in the relationship longer, for others its leaving more quickly. I share about a pretty story I put on a pain point, so I didn't have to face it, and how this increased my suffering and my stuckness. Listen in, to begin to own the ways that you are wanting to be rescued...

I talk about an interaction with my therapist where she anticipates something hard is going to happen between us, and how soothed I felt knowing that it will, rather than being surprised by it when it does. In this episode, I talk about how we try protecting others from the truth and protecting ourselves from it (by saying "me too," when we don't actually feel that way), and what I a...