Unburdened with Zoe

What do you do when the person who should nurture you becomes the one who breaks you down? For Lydia, childhood took a sharp turn when her younger brother was born. Her mother became unpredictable—cruel, controlling, and emotionally abusive. What started as biting words and impossible expectations escalated into full-blown rage, manipulation, and even physical aggression.   Unlike the rest of her...

What happens when the person meant to protect you is the one who sells your safety for their own gain? For Diana, childhood wasn’t just traumatic—it was orchestrated cruelty. From the age of five, she endured years of sexual, emotional, and physical abuse at the hands of her stepfather, all while her mother turned a blind eye. When the truth came out decades later, the betrayal was even darker tha...

How do you recognise abuse when it’s disguised as control and manipulation? For Alex, childhood was overshadowed by coercion, fear, and emotional abuse at the hands of her stepfather. From the ages of 8 to 15, she endured a cycle of grooming and control that shaped every part of who she is today. But in the darkest of times, she found a refuge—school became her safe space, and that experience ulti...

What happens when a parent cares more about how they *look* as a parent than actually being one? For Paula, love with her father was never unconditional—it was a performance for social media, a show for public events, but behind closed doors, it was filled with emotional distance, blame, and zero accountability.   After years of careful conversations, constant effort, and trying to maintain a rela...

What happens when a parent refuses to take responsibility for the damage they’ve caused? For Tycheica, the deepest pain isn’t just the neglect and abuse she endured as a child—it’s her mother’s complete lack of accountability. While her mother acknowledges her siblings’ struggles, she dismisses Tycheica’s entirely, gaslighting her pain and denying the trauma she survived.   Now a mother of two you...

What happens when the person who’s supposed to love you most decides not to? For Mel, that reality shaped her entire life. At just five years old, her mother moved away, taking her brother and grandmother but leaving Mel behind. For years, she was fed lies about why her mother wasn’t in her life, yet the only thing she truly felt was shame—shame for not having a mother, for not being in contact, a...

What happens when the people who are supposed to protect you are the ones who cause you the most pain? In this episode, Grace shares her story of growing up in an unstable home—navigating her parents’ divorce, her father’s deep depression, and years of bullying from her mother’s partner. Feeling trapped in a toxic environment, Grace left home at just 16, spending years sleeping on a friend’s floor...

Growing up in a home where love felt conditional and emotional instability ruled can shape every part of who we become. In this episode, Claire shares her experience of growing up with an emotionally abusive and neglectful mother—one whose words and reactions left lasting wounds. Claire opens up about what it was like to walk on eggshells as a child, constantly seeking approval while being met wit...

In this powerful and deeply personal episode, we talk with Hiruni about her journey of estrangement, resilience, and healing after years of emotional and physical abuse. Leaving her family home at just 17, Hiruni faced the challenges of sofa-surfing while preparing for her A-levels and navigating the uncertainties of estranged life as a student.   Hiruni opens up about the complexities of emotiona...

In this episode, we sit down with Matt Appleby as he shares his journey of healing from a toxic family dynamic shaped by a narcissistic parent. Matt opens up about how pivotal life moments—becoming a father, the loss of a beloved grandparent, the breakdown of his marriage, and the realisation of his mother’s narcissistic traits—have acted as powerful catalysts for growth.  He delves into the heali...

In this episode, Sarah shares her journey of growing up with a narcissistic mother who relied on guilt, blame, and shame to control and manipulate. As the scapegoat in her family, Sarah endured both physical and mental abuse, leaving her with high-functioning anxiety and a deep desire to protect her own children from the cycle of trauma.   Now in therapy, Sarah is working through the impacts of co...

In this episode, Lisa opens up about her childhood with a neglectful and narcissistic mother who failed to meet her emotional needs and took no accountability for the harm caused. Now, as Lisa prepares to welcome her own baby, she reflects on the fears of repeating the past and the determination driving her to break the cycle. From therapy to connecting with others who share similar experiences, L...

Growing up surrounded by chaos, abuse, and dangerous relationships, Ashleigh's childhood was anything but stable. In this episode, she shares her journey of navigating trauma, the challenges of being a people pleaser, and how cutting ties with her mother became the turning point in her healing. Ashleigh speaks openly about the struggles, the lessons, and how she’s managed to rebuild her life...

In this episode, we sit down with Pollyanna, a beacon of hope and healing. Pollyanna opens up about her journey through trauma and how she found strength and purpose in even the darkest moments. She shares her experience of dealing with a parent struggling with alcohol abuse, offering insights into setting boundaries, protecting your mental health, and finding ways to heal from the pain caused by...

In this empowering episode, we welcome Emily. Emily shares her journey of overcoming adversity, reclaiming her voice, and finding strength through vulnerability. She also shares stories that encourage a thought-provoking discussion about the potential dangers of step-parents in unhealthy dynamics. 

In this heartfelt episode, we sit down with Maggie Maher, a compassionate advocate for healing and community. Maggie shares her personal story of overcoming childhood trauma and the transformative power of building meaningful connections. Tune in for a moving conversation filled with hope, wisdom, and practical tools for your healing journey. To find out more about Maggie and the therapy she offer...

Welcome to Season 2 of Unburdened! I am so deeply appreciative and grateful to bring YOU on to the podcast for season 2, to share you stories and experiences and ultimately break this narrative and stigma that society still holds about family.  I apologise for the sound quality on this episode, please be patient as I navigate recording online, but I am delighted to kick off Season 2 with Sonam Dav...

In my favourite episode of Unburdened yet, I am joined by special guest Harriet Shearsmith to tackle the heavy and complex topic of guilt —especially when it comes to setting boundaries or going no-contact with family. Harriet shares her deeply personal journey of breaking free from guilt after choosing no contact with her parents, offering raw insights into the emotional challenges and triumphs a...

For many, Christmas can feel far from magical—filled with tension, unrealistic expectations, and tricky family dynamics. In this episode of Unburdened , we dive into the realities of a holiday that isn’t always picture-perfect. From managing over-the-top parents and handling feelings of jealousy to setting boundaries and surviving the isolation some of us feel during this season, we’re breaking do...

https://www.amazon.co.uk/shop/iamzoelouise/list/8DTOK1H2AW4K?ref_=aip_sf_list_spv_ofs_mixed_m 1. Breaking the Habit of Being Yourself - Dr Joe Dispense  2. The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck - Mark Manson 3. A New Earth - Eckhart Tolls  4. Psycho-Cybernetics - Maxwell Maltz  5. Many Lives, Many Masters - Brian Weiss  6. You Can Heal Your Life - Louise Hay 7. The Big Leap - Gay Hendricks  8. Unlim...

Becoming a mother can bring fears of repeating the past, but it also offers the power to break the cycle. In this episode, I share my personal journey of recognising and overcoming trauma, explore what it takes to avoid passing it on, and celebrate the signs that the cycle is truly broken. 

In this episode, we explore the deep link between childhood trauma and bullying. Why are some kids more likely to be targeted? How does bullying reinforce harmful beliefs shaped by abuse? I share my personal story, uncover the impact of bullying, and discuss how to break free from these cycles. Whether you’ve experienced bullying or want to protect your children, this episode offers insight, suppo...

This episode covers the powerful practice of inner child healing, explaining what it is and why it can be transformative. It discusses how self-criticism often targets our younger selves and how shifting to a compassionate, protective mindset can help in fostering self-compassion, ultimately encouraging a more caring approach to self-care and emotional well-being.

Our attachment style is formed in the first TWO years on life and affects our adult relationships. Learn about the different attachment styles, so you can move towards a secure one and have healthier relationships! Book mentioned in the podcast:  https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/1529032172?linkCode=ssc&tag=onamzzoeshe09-21&creativeASIN=1529032172&asc_item-id=amzn1.ideas.2JJ30EKQZEKZ2&re...

Guilt. It's the biggest emotion I hear people struggle with. Guilt for feeling different, guilt for having to introduce boundaries, guilt for having to limit contact. How can we manage the guilt so we can make choices that are right for us? This week we have a special guest, Melissa Byrne who shares her experience of managing guilt in the context of a difficult mother daughter relationship. ...