Unblock Your BS

He came home from an AA meeting. The kids were gone. His wife was gone. Divorce papers were sitting on the counter. And that was just the beginning. In today's coaching episode, I'm talking with Onus bout what happens when: your nervous system lives on high alert, being misunderstood feels like a threat, anger shows up before vulnerability, and your relationships become a constant attempt to "earn...

When your partner is "mad," most people react like anger is the problem. It's not. Anger is usually protection and what's underneath it is what actually needs care, leadership, and emotional intelligence. In this episode, I'm going to break down what happens when men outsource emotional labor to women, why women's hormones can amplify stress without either partner realizing what's happening, and h...

You can know all the nervous system language, do the breathwork, read the books, got therapy… and still find yourself lying awake at 3 a.m. replaying every conversation with your partner (past or present), wondering why you STILL feel like a failure. In today's episode, I coach Autumn - a recently divorced listener to the pod - through the question that's been running her entire life since childho...

When you're going through a separation or divorce, the holiday season doesn't feel magical… it feels like a spotlight on everything that's changed. Waking up in a quiet house… splitting time with your kids for the first time… trying to act "fine" while everyone around you is celebrating,  it can make even the strongest men feel cracked open. In this episode, I share what no one prepares you for du...

When Brian joined Healthy Men-tality, his marriage was on life support. He was desperate to fix the cracks that had formed after trust was broken but what he discovered was that the real repair had to start within himself. In this raw, powerful conversation, Brian shares how learning nervous system regulation, emotional safety, and inner healing shifted him from people-pleasing and fear of abandon...

Men: if you're exhausted trying to "be enough" and fix everything at home, this episode shows how to stop self-abandoning, regulate, and lead yourself so connection actually grows (instead of resentment). In this coaching episode, we unpack the real reason many men feel "not good enough" and why trying to manage your partner's emotions keeps you stuck. You'll learn how codependency forms, why her...

If you've ever been praised at work and lost at home, you're not alone. My good friend and guest on today's episode is Paul Coleman, who thought "providing" was enough for his family… until conflicts, distance, and a daughter's simple note exposed the truth: true connection with loved ones was a skill and he was lacking in it. Paul is a former professional athlete and top 1% California real estate...

Modern dating is a minefield of mixed signals, ghosting, and people saying they want "real connection" while avoiding the real work it takes to build one. But what if the chaos wasn't a punishment - what if it's a mirror? In this episode, two men pull back the curtain on how to date with radical transparency and integrity in a world full of band-aids and quick fixes. Chris Bates, Dating Coach for...

Jack is a 24-year Army combat veteran who retired into a quiet house and a loud nervous system. Without the mission and tribe, drinking became the go-to "solution." In this honest conversation, Jack shares how rock bottom in a VA emergency room cracked him open, how default coping mechanisms kept him stuck, and how Healthy Men-tality gave him the structure, community, and tools to regulate, take o...

Today I'm joined by Jana McKinney, CEO & Founder of Get Living Breathwork, to unpack why facilitated breathwork can shift you faster and deeper than years of white-knuckling or logic-only therapy. We get into the physiology (vagus nerve, diaphragmatic breathing, nitric oxide), the three layers of breathwork (awareness, daily regulation, journey work), and how journey-style sessions surface and rel...

Kyle's story is proof that you don't have to stay stuck in the pain of divorce, disconnection, or old patterns. In this episode, Kyle,  one of the men currently inside Healthy Men-tality my 12-week coaching program just for men - shares his journey of hitting rock bottom after a blindsiding divorce, how he almost drowned in alcohol and isolation, and why he finally chose to get support. Inside the...

When we're lonely, it's easy to throw money, time, and hope into quick fixes for love. Matchmaking services promise "high-quality partners" but are they really delivering? I dropped $7,000 on a service that matched me with men who were… let's just say, not exactly husband material. From shocking disclosures to ghosting to inappropriate texts on Christmas, I quickly realized I'd paid a premium for...

Most couples stay stuck in the same painful cycles because they believe their partner makes them feel unloved, unwanted, disrespected or upset. But when you hand someone else the keys to your emotional state, you give up your agency and ability to regulate your own emotions. The result? Endless reactivity, blame, and miscommunication that leaves both people hurt and defensive. In this solo episode...

Most of us get hijacked by spirals of anger, shame, or the "should storms" of life. We either shut down, blow up, or perform our pain for approval. But the cost is high: broken relationships, wasted energy, endless regret, and a nervous system that never feels safe. And while the internet is full of "healing tips," few people are embodying them in real time. Enter Eric Palacios, returning guest, c...

Why is it you can be so chill and peaceful single but the second you start the talking phase or go on a single date with someone - it triggers the anxious spirals, shutdowns, and self-abandonment that leave you doubting your worth and all of the healing work you've been doing single?!?  From that feeling of desperation as you wait on a text response (and the torture that ensues when more than a fe...

A post I shared went viral on "roommate marriages" and it highlighted the same core pains from over 400,000 men: no intimacy, eggshell communication, codependency, betrayal wounds, mental health strain, financial/family entanglements, and deep isolation. When you're dysregulated, you can't desire. Logic can't land when emotions flood the brain. And people-pleasing feels "kind" or loving until you...

For 20 years, John lived in the "nice guy" role… fawning, avoiding conflict, and losing himself in the process. His marriage looked stable on the outside, but inside he felt empty, resentful, and disconnected.   When the relationship ended, his first instinct was to date again and fill the emotional hole with someone new. But without facing the childhood wounds and nervous system patterns that sha...

When emotions run high, most people react from their wounds, not their wisdom. The result? Miscommunication, spiraling arguments, and a lot of "fixing" that doesn't actually solve anything. Whether it's your partner blowing up over a text you didn't answer fast enough or you shutting down the second you feel criticized, these moments aren't about the present, they're about old patterns. And unless...

Healing gave her insight. Inner child work gave her peace. In today's episode, I sit down with Jen Peters, an internationally recognized inner child healer and the founder of a 127,000-person inner child healing community. Together, we unpack what actually creates lasting healing for our students and clients - especially for those who've done all the things but still feel stuck. Inside this episod...

What if your patterns in love weren't proof that you're broken but invitations to finally come home to yourself? In this powerful episode, I'm joined by Leona Schrock, a fellow coach, podcast host, and former member of the Amish community who shares her journey of leaving religious shame behind, healing after a toxic marriage, and learning how to reconnect with the version of herself she never got...

What if the way you've been showing up in relationships wasn't your fault but it was your responsibility to change? In this powerful case study, Shawn, a men-ber of the Healthy Men-tality program, shares how his fear of abandonment and ADHD led to intense relationship dynamics, shame, and people-pleasing. But through the program, he started healing the root issues… not just the surface symptoms. I...

He couldn't eat. He couldn't sleep. His wife had left, moved on, and was still emotionally entangled with him—while dating someone new. And Chris? He was stuck. In this powerful case study episode, I interview Chris, a former firefighter and Healthy Men-tality Graduate,  about his journey through a heartbreaking ending of his 10 year marriage, the subsequent emotional collapse, nervous system dysr...

You ever feel like you're the one who gets it emotionally, but still can't stop chasing people who aren't good for you? In this listener Q&A episode, I answer real questions from women and men navigating heartbreak, avoidance, divorce guilt, and that all-too-familiar spiral of "why do I keep doing this?" You'll hear coaching around: Why your body craves people who are bad for you (even when your b...

This isn't a before-and-after story. This is the during. The messy middle. The part where healing actually happens. In today's episode, I sit down with Elizabeth, a member of my Self Aware Army, who found herself in a season of overwhelming loss, burnout, and grief from losing several loved ones in a very short period of time… and decided to do something radically brave when she had lost all hope:...

If you're a man (or in relationship with a man) who shuts down, spirals with intrusive thoughts of not feeling like enough, or suddenly you're seeking attention and validation from everyone else except your partner - this episode is for you. In today's deep, raw, and practical conversation, I sit down with Men's Coach  Jim Vance of The Conscious Man to talk about why so many men struggle in love,...