Unblock Your BS

He's trying to become emotionally safe for his wife. But what if she still leaves? "Alan" knows he's contributed to the problems in his marriage. For years, when his wife brought up something difficult, he'd get defensive, shut down, walk away, and eventually come back acting like nothing happened. Meanwhile, his wife was left carrying the hurt, with no real resolution. Now he's doing the work. Th...

You know getting defensive isn't helping. You know shutting down makes things worse. You know your wife wants you to listen instead of immediately explaining yourself. So... why the hell do you keep doing it? In this episode, Tara sits down with clinical hypnotherapist and transformational coach Joey Labossiere to talk about the subconscious stories and childhood conditioning that can take over wh...

⚠️ Trigger Warning: This episode includes a discussion of suicidal ideation and access to a firearm following the end of Billy's marriage. Please listen with care. You can build a whole life around being the capable one. The guy everyone depends on. The one who has it handled. And still carry something underneath it that never got looked at. This week, Healthy Men-tality member "Billy" reads the j...

Emotionally, I am your roommate. Legally, I am your wife. That's the answer "Peter" got when he finally asked his wife directly where they stood. They're still living together, still separated, still in a gray area neither of them has fully committed to leaving. This week Peter joins me for a coaching episode, and it goes deep. He's done real work on himself since the separation started, therapy,...

You can be successful at work, disciplined with your goals, financially secure... and still have no idea why your relationship keeps falling apart. Because the pattern causing problems at home might not actually be a "relationship problem." In this episode, I'm joined by high-performance coach Brad Bizjack to talk about the subconscious beliefs and patterns running underneath how we show up in rel...

What if being "healed" doesn't mean you never get triggered again? You can do therapy, nervous system work, breathwork, become incredibly self-aware... and still occasionally get defensive, shut down, raise your voice, say something you regret, or hurt your partner without intending to. Because you're human. In this episode, Tara breaks down the skill she thinks every relationship actually needs,...

Danny loved his wife. He worked 10–14-hour days to provide for his family. His wife stayed home raising and homeschooling their children. From his perspective, he was doing what a husband and father was supposed to do. But emotionally, he kept everyone at arm's length. Danny carried a belief that eventually everyone leaves. So without really realizing what he was doing, he protected himself by nev...

This week's coaching episode is a behind-the-scenes look at an actual coaching call.  Our guest came in wanting help moving on from a 12-year relationship, still holding onto the belief that if he could just do things differently, it could still work. What we uncover instead is a pattern of people-pleasing and self-abandonment that goes back much further than this relationship, and what it actuall...

Your wife wants a divorce. She's cold. She won't talk. Maybe she refuses counseling. Maybe she's blaming you for everything that went wrong. And your brain has decided there's one thing you need to do: Figure her out. Why is she doing this? What happened to the woman you married? What could you say that would finally make her understand? In this episode, Tara is joined by divorce coach Rachael Slo...

You can have buddies you golf with, hunt with, work with, grab beers with and still have absolutely nobody in your life who knows what's actually going on with you. Chuck, Barrett, and Bob discovered the difference. All three joined Healthy Men-tality in August 2025. A year later, they're still here... because they found something they didn't want to give up: a community of men willing to be open,...

What happens when you have the marriage, the family, the life you worked for... and somehow you still feel nothing? That's where "Earl" found himself. After more than 40 years with his wife, their marriage had been hanging by a thread. Earl knew something needed to change, but traditional therapy hadn't gotten him very far. Then he started looking at something he'd never really understood before:...

Most people think nervous system regulation is just another wellness buzzword. Take a deep breath. Meditate. Calm down. But what does it actually mean to regulate your nervous system when your body feels like everything is an emergency? In this week's episode, Tara sits down with Aleksandra Chojnicka, founder and CEO of Detox House, a nervous system resilience coach who helps high achievers build...

One of the hardest parts of separation isn't the loss of the relationship... It's the desperate hope that one day they'll finally understand your side. That they'll acknowledge what you carried. That they'll admit it wasn't all your fault. "Rob" applied to come on for coaching while going through a separation. He'd already taken responsibility for his side, but he was stuck needing his wife to ack...

You did the work. You went to therapy, you changed how you show up, you really tried to become a better man. And it still wasn't enough to make her stay.  So now you're stuck asking yourself, why wasn't I enough?  If that question has been living in your head, this one's for you. "Todd" came into Healthy Men-tality trying to save his marriage. Instead, his wife left and quickly moved another man i...

The relationship advice you've heard your whole life might actually be keeping you stuck. "Happy wife, happy life." "Never go to bed angry." "Learn to compromise." Most of us were handed these ideas long before we ever understood relationships. They sound loving. They sound wise. But what if they're quietly creating resentment, self-abandonment, scorekeeping, and emotional distance instead? In thi...

How long are you going to keep punishing yourself for it? You hurt someone, or someone hurt you, and you're still carrying it, still replaying it, still waiting to feel like you've finally paid enough. If that's you, this one's worth your time. In this week's episode, Tara goes deep on forgiveness, the kind people get completely wrong.  Not letting someone off the hook, not pretending it didn't hu...

⚠️ Trigger Warning: This episode includes conversations about suicide, suicidal ideation, depression, pornography addiction, childhood trauma, emotional abuse, and divorce. Please listen at your own pace. If these topics feel overwhelming right now, it's okay to come back to this episode when you're ready. You can spend years just getting through life, providing, showing up, going through the moti...

You almost lost the whole thing. And now, somehow, it's good again. Better than it's ever been, even. So why can't you actually enjoy it? Why does part of you keep waiting for the floor to drop out? In this week's coaching episode, "Steve" reached out to Tara while he was in the middle of filing for divorce after an affair.  Months later, the divorce is off the table and he and his wife are more c...

You've been doing the work. So why does she still have her guard up like nothing's changed? In this episode, Tara sits down with Coleman, one of the coaches inside Healthy Men-tality, and her own personal nervous system coach. Because he primarily supports women and Tara primarily supports men, the two of them get to see both sides of what happens inside a relationship when nervous systems start t...

You thought you were loving your family. But what if you were slowly abandoning yourself? In today's episode, Tara reads a post from one of the men inside Healthy Men-tality, shared word-for-word, about what doing the work actually looks like in real time. The ups, the downs, and the slow peeling back of the patterns underneath his behavior. He writes about self-sacrificing his own needs for years...

⚠️ Trigger Warning: This episode includes open discussion of suicide and self-harm. If you're in a hard place right now, it's completely okay to skip this one and come back when you're ready, or pick a different episode. If you do listen, go gentle with yourself and take breaks if you need them. "Tom" came into the Healthy Men-tality program looking, from the outside, like a man who had it all fig...

Most men don't lose their relationship overnight. It happens slowly. Long work hours. Emotional avoidance. Constant stress. Feeling like roommates instead of partners. One person asking for connection while the other thinks, "I'm doing all of this for us… why isn't it enough?" In this episode, Marcus opens up about the collapse of his six-year relationship, discovering his partner was emotionally...

What happens when a man spends years trying to earn love by abandoning himself? In this episode, I sit down with Healthy Men-tality member Carlos for an honest conversation about nervous system regulation, shame, people-pleasing, emotional burnout, marriage struggles, and learning how to stop losing yourself inside relationships. Carlos shares what led him to the program after his wife hit a break...

Most men were never taught how to stay present when emotions get big. So when conflict happens in a relationship… they either shut down, try to fix it, disappear emotionally, or explode. Then comes the shame spiral. "I'm failing." "I'm broken." "I can't do this right." In this episode, Dave Lishansky and I unpack what's actually happening underneath those reactions,  and why so many "nice guys" ar...

Some women spend years trying to explain the same pain. Different wording. Different tone. Different timing. Eventually the tears stop. The conversations get shorter. The resentment gets quieter. And then one day she says she's done. That's usually when panic finally kicks in. In this episode, Tara breaks down one of the hardest questions men face once they start healing after separation or divorc...