Unblock Your BS

You almost lost the whole thing. And now, somehow, it's good again. Better than it's ever been, even. So why can't you actually enjoy it? Why does part of you keep waiting for the floor to drop out? In this week's coaching episode, "Steve" reached out to Tara while he was in the middle of filing for divorce after an affair.  Months later, the divorce is off the table and he and his wife are more c...

You've been doing the work. So why does she still have her guard up like nothing's changed? In this episode, Tara sits down with Coleman, one of the coaches inside Healthy Men-tality, and her own personal nervous system coach. Because he primarily supports women and Tara primarily supports men, the two of them get to see both sides of what happens inside a relationship when nervous systems start t...

You thought you were loving your family. But what if you were slowly abandoning yourself? In today's episode, Tara reads a post from one of the men inside Healthy Men-tality, shared word-for-word, about what doing the work actually looks like in real time. The ups, the downs, and the slow peeling back of the patterns underneath his behavior. He writes about self-sacrificing his own needs for years...

⚠️ Trigger Warning: This episode includes open discussion of suicide and self-harm. If you're in a hard place right now, it's completely okay to skip this one and come back when you're ready, or pick a different episode. If you do listen, go gentle with yourself and take breaks if you need them. "Tom" came into the Healthy Men-tality program looking, from the outside, like a man who had it all fig...

Most men don't lose their relationship overnight. It happens slowly. Long work hours. Emotional avoidance. Constant stress. Feeling like roommates instead of partners. One person asking for connection while the other thinks, "I'm doing all of this for us… why isn't it enough?" In this episode, Marcus opens up about the collapse of his six-year relationship, discovering his partner was emotionally...

What happens when a man spends years trying to earn love by abandoning himself? In this episode, I sit down with Healthy Men-tality member Carlos for an honest conversation about nervous system regulation, shame, people-pleasing, emotional burnout, marriage struggles, and learning how to stop losing yourself inside relationships. Carlos shares what led him to the program after his wife hit a break...

Most men were never taught how to stay present when emotions get big. So when conflict happens in a relationship… they either shut down, try to fix it, disappear emotionally, or explode. Then comes the shame spiral. "I'm failing." "I'm broken." "I can't do this right." In this episode, Dave Lishansky and I unpack what's actually happening underneath those reactions,  and why so many "nice guys" ar...

Some women spend years trying to explain the same pain. Different wording. Different tone. Different timing. Eventually the tears stop. The conversations get shorter. The resentment gets quieter. And then one day she says she's done. That's usually when panic finally kicks in. In this episode, Tara breaks down one of the hardest questions men face once they start healing after separation or divorc...

Joey didn't walk into this expecting anything emotional. He thought he'd get a tactic. Maybe a business insight. Something useful he could apply. Instead, he ended up face to face with something he hadn't fully processed in years. His mom. She passed away when he was 23. He's 48 now. And somewhere along the way, without really realizing it, he'd been trying to recreate that connection. In relation...

This episode is what transformation actually sounds like in real time. Not polished. Not filtered. Not "I've got it all figured out." Just honest. Glenn came into Healthy Men-tality in the middle of a brutal divorce after a 20+ year marriage that had slowly turned into disconnection, resentment, and survival mode. What he didn't realize at the time? He wasn't just leaving a relationship. He was le...

You're successful… so why is your relationship falling apart? If you feel respected, valued, and confident in your career but disconnected, criticized, or unwanted at home… This episode will explain why. Inside this conversation, we break down the real root of "roommate marriages", and why traditional advice doesn't work What You'll Learn: Why your brain is wired to chase achievement over connecti...

She said she was done. No real explanation. Just "I'm unhappy." And everything Skippy thought was stable... wasn't. In this episode, Tara sits down with Healthy Men-tality member Skippy to talk through what the early stages of separation actually looked like, and how he went from full panic mode to something he hadn't felt in years: clarity. In this episode: Why trying harder often makes things wo...

There's a moment when everything you thought was stable… isn't. Not slowly. Not with warning. Just… gone! That's where this conversation starts. Bill was married for 16 years. He thought they had normal problems. Manageable ones. Then one conversation changed everything. His wife asked for a divorce… and he found out she had already moved on. In this episode of Unblock Your BS, I sit down with lis...

If your partner is constantly sending you relationship content… and your first instinct is to feel annoyed, confused, or defensive… This episode is going to challenge that. Because what looks like a "TikTok problem"… is usually a communication and emotional safety problem. Inside this solo episode, we break down what's actually happening when someone avoids direct communication, and how your respo...

Most people don't go into marriage expecting it to end. And when it does… they don't have a roadmap. If you're a man facing divorce, you've probably heard the same story on repeat: You'll lose your money. You'll lose your kids. The system is rigged against you. But what if most of that is just noise? In this episode of Unblock Your BS, I sit down with Joe Dillon, co-founder of Equitable Mediation...

At 25, Coleman was cheating on his wife, chronically lying, and living in constant fight-or-flight. He didn't just lose his marriage. He realized he didn't like who he had become. This episode is the raw, unfiltered story of what it actually takes to change,  not through mindset hacks, but through nervous system healing. From rock bottom… to somatic work, subconscious reprogramming, breathwork, an...

Some moments in life split your story into two chapters: Before. And after. For Charlie, that moment happened the night he discovered his wife was having an affair. After 15 years together, his marriage collapsed overnight. His nervous system spiraled. His identity shattered. And he found himself sitting in his car wondering how his life had fallen apart so quickly. But that breakdown became the b...

Heartbreak has a way of exposing patterns we didn't even realize we were living inside of. In this episode, Tara sits down with heartbreak and relationship coach Erica Wright to unpack the deeper dynamics that show up in relationships, especially after betrayal, divorce, or emotional disconnection. The conversation explores how codependency develops, why people often ignore their intuition in rela...

Divorce is messy. It's grief. It's a relief. It's rage. It's freedom. Sometimes all in the same week. In this solo episode, I break down what really happens after divorce, especially for the men I work with inside Healthy Men-tality. The bitterness. The bargaining. The shame spiral. The temptation to jump into something new just to avoid being alone. And here's the bold truth: Dating while you're...

You're good teammates. Good parents. But behind closed doors? Something's missing. The spark. The fire. The "I can't wait to touch you" energy. Most couples don't talk about sex or nobody knows how to actually talk about it. In this episode, I sit down with sex and intimacy coach Dan Purcell to talk about what's really underneath the roommate marriage phase  and why trying to "get more sex" is oft...

Two D' Days.  That's what Clayton calls them. The day he discovered the sexual affair. And the day he found out it wasn't the only one. She cheated. Twice. When he found out about the affairs, his reality shattered. He stopped functioning. Sat on the couch. Scrolled TikTok for answers. Six months later? His marriage is still rocky. But he's calm. Clear. Grounded. And not afraid anymore. In this ep...

You finally decided to do the work. You're learning about nervous system regulation. You're reflecting on your patterns. You're trying to show up differently. And instead of relief… She says: "Why now?" "I've been asking for this for years." In this episode, Tara breaks down: Why resentment often shows up when growth begins What emotional shutdown in women actually means Why your healing doesn't a...

If every conversation with your partner feels like an attack… If feedback turns into defensiveness, shutdowns, or arguments… If you keep asking yourself, "Why does this keep happening?" This episode is for you. In today's conversation, I break down why defensiveness isn't confidence or self-advocacy… it's a nervous system response rooted in shame and early childhood wiring . We're unpacking: Why y...

When life punches you in the throat (flu, ice storm, a branch through your roof at 5am… you know, casual "unprecedented times" stuff), you learn real fast what "emotional safety" actually means. And here's the thing: emotional safety has become a buzzword. A lot of women use it. A lot of men hear it and instantly translate it as physical safety. "I've never hit her." "I don't scream." "I would nev...

Wayne is separated from his wife of 30 years and after starting therapy, he's realizing something that hits a lot of men like a truck: He spent decades hiding emotions to keep the peace… until his body couldn't do it anymore. In this coaching episode, we talk about emotional shutdown, suppressed rage, and why Wayne mostly feels anger and barely joy with almost nothing in between. We break down wha...