Umpire Pants

We pay off a bit, Skirt challenge, self censoring jokes, Bill's routine, Tim and Peter Gunn, t-skirt challenge, buying the shirts, Prince's hot dog board shorts, giant underwear, the spirit of the contest, jute twine, how the skirts were made, we describe the skirts, mom has little clown legs, Here Come The Judge, a winner is announced, BREAK, Best of So Far: harbor, David Harbor, Elliot Harbor, V...

Bill isn't ready, we're not talking about Trump, nutballs, shampoo bar/washing hair, shopping online, last episode, Mary unplugs the board, bamboo toothbrush, spendy, Bill's present, egg recipe, wikifeet, Bill gets hit in the head with a chair, BREAK, Best of So Far: Gallery -> Sea Galley/live episode -> Gallery -> birds walking out -> meeting Big Bird, lost looking for flamenco, barefoot in publi...

Mary introduces, podcast clothes, Kelley predicts how the show will go, Mary and Kelley should do an episode, Mad Magazine, super specials are still coming, shampoo bar, Kelley's being bad again, bamboo toothbrushes, t-skirt... ...I lost the rest of the description and I'm not listening to it again, but we talk about songs Mary likes, celebrities that should have died young, quinoa in the luggage,...

Lily and I sat down in the basement for a bonus episode where we talk over each other and ramble. I had to use the old mixer so the sound is a little wonky. Driving, singing, Shrek, PE story, going to the dump, targeted adverstising, 9/11, age differences in technology, flying, old man stories, HGH, movies, confusing actors, old man music stories, metal, Umpire Pants Out

Kelley introduces, we can get better, Virginia listener, Vera's wedding, notes, weird things that Mary does, Fred Meyer stories -> porn guy -> camel toe lady -> Disney movies -> dog bite -> power hour -> crowns/triple crown, bad products -> Meater -> whisker dam -> grab opener, break, no more Shout out to Dinner, headphones, Best So Far -> drink -> drive -> encounter -> weed, pasta, celebrities in...

42: There's No Stank on John Denver Bill's joke, LAX, potato casserole, garage sales, dog crates, Bill gets a call, Mantan Moreland, Vera update: straws, Shout Out to Dinner: Lasagna -> Press Your Luck-> straws -> printing email -> the Babe Ruth of podcasting, Wayne Newton, white lasagna/lasagna soup, crab things, The Best of Everything So Far: country road, John Denver sucks, donkey roads, road t...

Doing characters, being spaced out, bowling alley food, hand sanitizer, old buildings, gross words, impressions, the knife show, katana clip, Mariners, the movie Cocktail, 50's - 90's nostalgia, dirty house tv shows, Kelley's dog leash, driving, how you can tell you're old (glasses), hearing contest, tourism ceremonies, Costa Rica house for sale, favorites: club, country, more Costa Rica house, te...

Gross ant story, getting rid of leaf cutter ants, torches, stupid invention of the week, fare enforcement/homelessness, sports, Kelley's blazer, old authors, mashed potatoes joke, Vera update, cat update, best of so far, cheeses, church, city, hints, whipped cream, frozen pipes, short dress, 899 are you out of your mind?, toothbrush, cleaning plants, the big 4-0, Umpire Pants Out

I didn't listen to this one beforehand but I remember that we did an all hints episode and it was funny. This picture is of an episode of Delocated in which the main character buys a potato skins bar that is very funny.

I released this one out of order because the sound is pretty bad, but I think it's funny so I didn't want it to go to waste. Mary and Kelley are on Skype, it's hot in Costa Rica, is this recording?, American Movie, this is going to be one of our worst episodes, Zach Braff and Dax Shepard, Podcast Show, nobody is listening, farmhands, McDonalds toys, Play it Again Toys, Three Sweathogs, cat update,...

This one's coming in hot! We did this today and I already don't remember what we talked about but I think it's funny. We skipped episode 37 because it has sound issues but I'll release that one as a "special".

Ants and bats, real estate, A Walk In The Woods, hiking books, Seattle Steam, jellied soups, bad Italian food in Costa Rica, stealing plantains, accidental squid, dick mug, Amazon reviews, Herman's Balls Care, riding the bus, ant update, fruit truck, jabo vestie, Supreme Court duels, fur babies, brain farts, mushroom French Dips, Danielle's favorites, quite a little, 520 toll, listener intros, fav...

Bill doesn't know what episode it is, Mary is in Costa Rica, weed, food, Nepal, podcast clothes, shorts, divorce, stealing credit cards, skort, bats, ice in urinals, London balls, repo men, guns, work lunch, Facebook, alley story, favorite airline, favorite bar, favorite bed, favorite bookstore, hints, lively suds -> the internet -> paties, windshield salt -> living in your car, spices, Umpire Pan...

Podcast update, Bill can't be sincere, Mary is a natural podcaster, better sound, bus pass -> steam -> dad's breakfast -> bus pass -> sweatpants guy, The Howells, eggs, public bathrooms, shoe shine, dryer fire, not learning lessons, Mary gets distracted, audio/visual joke, young mom, ice cream, mixing flavors, too much ice cream, get off my lawn, Bill's birthday, cupcakes, donuts, break, best of e...

I think this one is worse than the other one, so do not listen. If, against your better judgement, you do decide to listen, keep in mind that I was playing a clip of Mary saying "I think my fart was pretty good" but it wasn't in the recording, so imagine that's what we keep laughing at.

Bill tries a new intro, Ricky Gervais, audio issues, Trump -> calligraphy -> head zookeper, pic of ice cream pie, baloney/bologna, Emily Dickinson, papier mache, root canal, soft hands, cat update, chainsaws, bad episodes, riding the bus, ComActRom, American Ninja Warrior, Bill's pants, incense, future dates, trashing space, caterpillar poison, favorite alley, breakfast, bridge, cassettes, smoked...

All hints, sweetened peas, Zeppo gets involved, discarded men's shirts, cold tea, bad audio (ironic given the quality of Bill's mic), suede slippers/emery boards, Mercurochrome, ironing gravy stains, carrots and other long vegetables, olives, weed strains, woodwork stains, repair crayons, sweater girls -> buttonholes -> peanuts, saving fuel, toaster cleaning -> refrigerators -> Mr. Belvedere, thre...

***WARNING BAD EPISODE*** I screwed up the recording of two episodes but they are so chock full of good content I couldn't bear to get rid of them entirely. It sounds really bad, like we're all on Skype or we're all in separate tin cans. So I'm uploading this but don't listen to it. It's so bad I didn't bother to listen and write down what we talked about so don't come cryin' to me if you don't he...

Bill screwed up the recording on two episodes, we're recording on Saturday morning, send pizzas to Kelley's house, podcast clothes, it's too early for beer, listeners in other countries, Zunes, Liverpool -> old comic strips -> Liverpool, Slick Watts, left handed, codpiece, 3rd ave. shops, dumpster diving, pedicures, mom falls down a lot, going to the dentist, going to the library, Facebook is bad,...

Episode 30: Freddie from Prince Welcome Stens, state of the podcast, Mary can't use technology, Kelley does a spit take, bodily functions, pronouncing words, cat update, Trivial Pursuit, Freddie Mercury, Kelley's phone call, surveillance state, mascot, dunking donuts and coffee, Amazon streaming, break, nobody is ready, Kelley's Hint List, hanging clothes, Bill gets distracted, ammonia, shortening...

Skype training, Bill is a pessimist, is it is snowing or hailing (it was snowing), the mountain is out, Jean Godden, Mary is sick, we are distracted, Mary is back from London -> Italian Horn/Shamrock Tattoo -> London, setting off museum alarms, Bartell Drugs update, advertising, Bill panics, Stockton, mad cow, scooters -> catch phrase -> electric mall carts, Trump, valet parking, robbing old ladie...

Episode XXVIII We Were Born Broadcasters It is just Kelley, Bill, and Herman, everyone wants to be on, old Corollas, cutting ivy, we were born broadcasters, flip flops, lost shoes, beavers, tippy canoe, ferry, kewpie card, house smells, crop dusting, shaving cats, cat vacations, oh yeah!, Kelley's school magazine, making copies, stealing from work, Mr. Belvedere -> Dixieland jazz is great -> Leon...

Kelley and I are at her house, Mary is drinking in London and on Skype, Mary's dinner, under no circumstances,Snickers, Kelley should be on more, show pictures, sponsors, tallest and shortest, London, our show is funny, toilet turtle/frog, Bill hopes we get sued, Ghallager, Mary's burping/Ignatius, listeners, cats -> scarves -> ambient noise -> cats, How Women Should Deport Themselves, fat America...

Mary is in London on Skype, the sound quality is bad, public transportation, Stonhenge, beer, Victoria and Albert, Bill makes an insanely bad Super Bowl prediction, the Patriots are boring, Kelley joins us, the show goes off the rails, cats, Geico commercial, Super Bowl commercials, Mary's smuggling, Bill is a responsible gun owner, robots that listen to podcasts, Starbucks cup update (cupdate), S...

We start fast, do we need music?, how to pronounce aunt, cleaner ants, Bill segues into Kelley's Hint List, paint onion, avocado pears, Bill's cheap phone, getting a cork out of an empty wine bottle -> ad giveaway -> ammonia -> high school chemistry, sterling silver Indian bracelets, polishing silver, school, barbecue meat -> hella -> charcoal grill substitute -> juice cans, messy barbecue grills,...