Umpire Pants

This is an all Mary and Kelley, all hints episode. I haven't listened to it but there is a very special guest in the second half.

I'm uploading this again as a separate episode, hoping more people will see it. I UPLOADED THE WRONG FILE! This one actually has songs and shit. Super-Nutballs, please re-listen. XOOOO -Kelley Happy Holidays. I guess this isn’t karaoke. We’re the Cohen Brothers of Podcasting. Air travel, talking to Atlanta. Cookie challenge. Malt Balls and Milk Duds. Special guest, dad is here! Milk Duds in the ba...

I UPLOADED THE WRONG FILE! This one actually has songs and shit. Super-Nutballs, please re-listen. XOOOO -Kelley Happy Holidays. I guess this isn’t karaoke. We’re the Cohen Brothers of Podcasting. Air travel, talking to Atlanta. Cookie challenge. Malt Balls and Milk Duds. Special guest, dad is here! Milk Duds in the bathroom stall. Boys are gross. Banana bread horror story. Malt Ball cookies. Weir...

Kelley intros. Ambient noise. Air travel. Elon Musk is full of shit. Sloths riding bicycles. Cousin Power Hour (upcoming). Kelley can’t say auto-erotic asphyxiation. RIP Jerry Reed. Ape Call by Nervous Norvis (Jimmy Drake) 1956. Milk Dud cookies are good. Malt Ball cookies are upcoming. Upgrades in hotels. Mom can’t or won’t hear us. Herman has to watch gummy bears have sex every day. Catholic Chu...

We didn’t do an episode last week. Raising Arizona. Black Friday and movies. Thanksgiving and too much gravy. Shout out to Edmonton. Mary’s Thanksgiving was terrible. The flu. Yo Momma. Broken fridge. Cats eating snakes. Simon had diabeetus and now he’s normal. Is mom farting? Lack of Anus. Crank it. How to make tofu from scratch. Paula Poundstone. Ticketmaster sucks balls. Squeeze the beans. Herm...

I didn't listen to much of this one, but i think I made the sound better. Or maybe it just sounds weird in a different way, I don't know. I was working on a car until long after dark so it's pretty impressive I'm uploading this at all.

We recorded this today and I didn't listen to it, but Kelley is back so we recorded at her house with Mary still in Costa Rica. We talk about snakes, flashers, eat peach rings, and we're back to Best of So Far and hints.

I didn't get around to listening to this one but the sound is better. Mary and Kelley are in Costa Rica and we talk about various topics.

Mary and Kelley are in Costa Rica, Mary is in a bad mood, beach day, worst sounding episode, car for Lily, fixing the sound, alley drinking, weather, Mary gets distracted, ranking animals, fishing for compliments, bad sound, red vines vs twizzlers, World Series, RIP Paul Allen, driving Miss Aunt Mary, power loss, more Aunt Mary, Vera joins us, the sound of your own voice, restaurants, more alley d...

61: What Are You, Willy Wonka? Bill is back, Mary is not here, holiday episodes, upcoming episodes, Bill's camping trip, yogurt pants, Christy's email->robots and hot dogs->uncle willy/beer->turtles->robot costume->Velvet Underground song (The Gift)->prize, My Two Dads, confirmed bachelor, Gumby, laundry, old McDonald's commercials, BREAK 23:36, Kelley's Hint List: frosting cakes, tuning and voici...

Al female episode. Channeling other podcasts. Kelley is bad at wires. What does confirmed bachelor mean? Why did television catch on? The Queen’s crown again. Bill’s camping and stinky. First names. Intermission song (I cut this song to two minutes, you’re all welcome.) Strikes work, fight the power, vote in the midterms. Mary was proactive about voting for once. Taking a break from the news. Dick...

Mary is in Costa Rica, Mary's fish, IQ test, killing goldfish, bat update, Costa Rica travel tips, Bill's scary neighborhood, raisins vs. quinoa, Sideways update, Halloween updates: parties and masks, we almost lose power, go nuts philosophy, podcast evidence, schooner update, Break 27:47, Best ofs So Far: street, theater, tour, Kelley's Hint List: beet skins, corn on the cob ice pick, we lose Mar...

It's our Halloween episode, Bill got a sound board, Mary doesn't like Halloween, yo-yo routine scarecrow, Mary gets a phone call, turds, people not liking you, parties, bobbing for apples, costumes, Blues Brothers, gypsy (roma), wizard, princess, topical costumes, clown, food coloring face, candy, cat costume, pumpkins, we have a breakthrough, contest, Best of So Far, soup, souvenir, statue, Break...

Why does Bill say the episode number?, poop on Costco, improv, Budweiser margarita commercial, shooting TVs, Bill's Full Metal Jacket edit, Nerf Gun Challenge update, ringing the bar bell, The Wizard by Black Sabbath, army navy store pants, mummies, bringing stuff on planes, Kelley's grocery store old lady bit, good job Storm, SBD/SBV, suicide/graveyard, schooners, creep photographer, only in New...

We're doing the candle challenge, we're already distracted, RIP Burt Reynolds, shooting Herman challenge/Donut Challenge, Kid Rock and the Insane Clown Posse, relish update, Amazon worker cages, Vera's email, jars for glasses, country music, Simon update, smoke alarm, Nanette, The Good Place/jabot, pergola, candle update, what did Mary call Bill when he was a baby?, giraffe attack, miso, Vera's se...

We (well, Kelley) finally did it! It's the first Best Of! Kelley put this together and we sat down to listen to the clips, then talk about the first clip we listened to, then record us talking about that, then immediately record us talking about the second clip, then listen to the 3rd and 4th clips, then talk about them back to back. It was very confusing! But it turned out funny so this is a good...

Bill and Kelley's intro, Kelley presents our certificates, nicknames, shout out to dinner, ice cream, horses, bad Little Golden Books, bad songs, eye doctor, murdering listeners, starting a cult, getting Mary to assassinate someone, Doug Baldwin, Fill Yer Belly Deli, Break 25:44, Best of So Far: Restaurant -> El Toreador -> eating a rubber band, River -> Columbia, Beckler, Missisip', Road -> winni...

Its smoky out, going to the movies, Mary's knee, town names,are knee caps made of cartilage?, opening the car door, smoke advice: A/C, Nosferatu, not knowing names, Beanwater Challenge, email accounts, self-driving cars, jaywalking, Fur Coat Butt update, Beanwater Break, Beanwater 2018, donuts, BREAK, performance, pub, Kelley's Hint List: orange and lemon rinds, car battery, storing canned meats,...

Kelley does the intro, radio voices, Podcast Awards, special back to school episode, eggnog, Bellevue Arts and Crafts Fair crack pipes, peek behind the curtain, two foot yard boob, more Arts and Crafts Fair, ya, tv show podcasts, shoes and feet/relationship advice, Bill is panicking, Politalks, office, elephant and popcorn tricks, Seth Rogan, Kelley's Bill Cosby impression, people Bill has seen li...

Beach day, cool guy in a Trans Am, Narduwar the Human Serviette/eh and you know, the word relationship, "and more", clipping toenails, Murphy bed, ventriloquists, almost accident, John Travolta movies, Danny Trejo, no shoes at Target, fan quarterback, best live webcams: Katmai National Park, Cat's Meow Karaoke, first webcam ever, BREAK 39:33 Best of So Far: moment, motel, mountain, Kelley's Hint L...

We're over halfway to 100 episodes, will we stop at 100 or 1000?, Vera's email -> Kelley's skirt, movies Pants Up or Pants Down, Branden, Canadian snacks, hats, camping, milk, Theano's Dairy, toilet paper review, washing up nuts, truck nuts, the Gong Show, pickle relish, Blind Date, break 35:17, Best of So Far: market, meal, Bill chokes, Kelley's Hint List: you should steal from work, wobbly furni...

Episode 50: If I'm Off the Clock I'm Not Listening to This Shit Golden anniversary, Bill misnumbered the last episode, half normal half hints, will Andrea come on the show?, Mary's surprise topic, famous houses, movies, real life Ignatius Reilly, environmental toilet paper, Scary Pinocchio, My Buddy/Chucky, Canadian Snack or Wack: Old Dutch Popcorn Twists, beer break, Ritzville, dyed ketchup, Prin...

Kelley is back, Bill told her the wrong episode number, there is some ambient noise, we're starting sloppy again, placebo effect revisited, being hypnotized, fair scones, wedding in Canada, weeding in Canada, apple juice, new listener/drive-ins, camping, firelog, cats, foot, cysts, Seattle public access, BREAK (Bong Hit Championships 97), Kelley's taking Bill's job, housekeeper note, Best of So Fa...

It's still the 4th of July, Lily joins Mary and Bill, Felix may or may not have a topic, talk radio, umpire pants, we'rre rambling, why we hate the Fourth of July, cats, touch screens, AC/DC, Lily's vacuum cleaner fear, Daniel Tiger, Bill can't remember the name of Minority Report, Texas Chainsaw Massacre, fire hose pants, hosting, fire hydrant/water, Epley maneuver, placebo effect, Break, more pl...

We start sloppy, it's the 4th of July, Kelley is in Canada, NPR, one man play, food bitch tease, Vera's wedding, Mary has a hangover, Felix joins in, Alice (which was based on Alice Doesn't Live Here Anymore), food bitch -> vegetarian food in Victoria, weird eggs benedict, our path to success with this podcast, Mariners, soccer, NBA, the weather is terrible, dadisms, fireworks, Aunt Mary's birthda...