Two Therapists Talking

David & Sherie talk about some very basic principles every couple should use, and can solve 95% of your relationship issues. From John Gottman, these skills include: 1. Express feelings using “I” statements 2. Use a softened start up 3. Stay Calm and Regulate Emotions 4. Turn Towards and Make and Keep Bids for Connection 5. Practice Repair Attempts 6. Accept Influence

David & Sherie finish talking about desires and our role in changing desires to better match the life we want to live. We want to move from knowing a thing to wanting a thing to loving a thing, and we talk about the final steps to do this. Here are all the steps in the process and the bold ones are covered in this episode: Understand what virtue really is Strengthen Your Why & Define your...

David & Sherie continue talking about desires and our role in changing desires to better match the life we want to live. We want to move from knowing a thing to wanting a thing to loving a thing, and we talk about additional steps to do this. Here are the steps in the process and the bold ones are covered in this episode: Understand what virtue really is Strengthen Your Why & Define your P...

David & Sherie continue talking about how our desires impact our sobriety and recovery and go into more detail about how this works and why it happens.

David & Sherie begin exploring the concept of desires and how our desires impact, possibly more than anything else, our recovery journey. Our motivation, or truest or deepest desires, significantly impact our behavior and why we might be "stuck" and continue to act our when we also don't want to have this addiction or these issues anymore.

David & Sherie continue talking about our intrusive, unwanted thoughts and start with a really helpful exposure therapy exercise or visualization. We then finish talking about additional steps you can take to manage those intrusive thoughts even more. Don't Believe Everything You Think, by Joseph Nguyen: https://a.co/d/0hISYNn Overcoming Unwanted Intrusive Thoughts by Sally M. Winston PsyD, Ma...

David & Sherie continue talking about our intrusive, unwanted thoughts and talk about different methods of helping overcome these thoughts, focusing on exposure therapy and what that means. Don't Believe Everything You Think, by Joseph Nguyen: https://a.co/d/0hISYNn Overcoming Unwanted Intrusive Thoughts by Sally M. Winston PsyD, Martin N. Seif PhD: https://a.co/d/c7A6puk

David & Sherie continue talking about our intrusive, unwanted thoughts and talk about the 3 kinds of intrusive thoughts, common thought myths, and more about what we do about them. We referenced two books in the first episode: Don't Believe Everything You Think, by Joseph Nguyen: https://a.co/d/0hISYNn Overcoming Unwanted Intrusive Thoughts by Sally M. Winston PsyD, Martin N. Seif PhD: https:/...

David & Sherie begin talking about something everyone struggles with to some extent - what to do with our intrusive, unwanted thoughts! What they mean, why they're there, and what we can begin to do about them. This is the first episode in a series because there's so much good information. We reference two books in this episode: Don't Believe Everything You Think, by Joseph Nguyen: https://a.c...

David & Sherie finish talking about motivation and why it's at the heart of a change process. Continue listening to learn how to increase or improve or act better on you motivation. Listen as we review the last 6 of 9 steps: 4. Create Routines & Systems 5. Remove Barriers & Make It Easy 6. Use Rewards & Accountability 7. Track Your Progress 8. Accept That Motivation Fluctuates 9. F...

David & Sherie talk about motivation and why it's at the heart of a change process. How does one increase or improve or act better on their motivation? Listen as we review the first 3 of 9 steps: 1. Set Clear, Achievable Goals 2. Connect to Your Why 3. Start Small & Take Action

David & Sherie finish talking about internal family systems or IFS. This will help you to know if it's going to help in your own healing and growth process and whether or not more information will get you where you want to be. If so, we recommend the following books: No Bad Parts: https://a.co/d/9ezT5RV Internal Family Systems Workbook: https://a.co/d/buzWoer Are you interested in worthing wit...

David & Sherie talk about internal family systems, started by Richard Schwartz. He attempted to help others work through their traumas and challenges and developed a way to do this that has since grown into an effective therapeutic method. Listen to this episode and see if it's interesting to you and might be something for you to look more into! Are you interested in worthing with us directly?...

David & Sherie finish talking about other conditions that are comorbid or run with addiction. We talk about ADHD and regulating impulse control and the effect that has on recovery, as well as autism, NPD, and obsessive compulsive personality disorder. Hopefully this helps you develop compassion for partners who struggle with these things.

David & Sherie talk about other things to be aware of when considering addiction recovery and how those things impact the process. Depression, for example, is important to recognize and understand when trying to work through recovery. Anxiety, ADHD, autism, and other mood and personality disorders are also considered. We also talk about dopamine and how the brain works when in addiction.

David & Sherie finish talking about steps to recovery for the betrayed partner and will finish up with the final 5 steps: know your values, learning, responding, not reacting, self-evaluation, and demonstrating empathy. Listen to learn more and make your recovery as good as it could be!

David & Sherie continue talking about the steps of recovery for the betrayed partner including forgiveness, understanding addiction, getting support, and committing to doing your own work.

David & Sherie talk about the updated steps to recovery for the betrayed partner, or the actual things they should be doing in a recovery process. There is a lot to do that helps, so use this as a roadmap for what to do when something happens or there is a recent discovery. And the more closely you follow these steps, the better! We cover taking time and space, having boundaries, and focusing...

David & Sherie continue talking about steps to recovery for the addict including understanding addiction yourself, working through past trauma, and holding boundaries in toxic relationships. All of these are vital to recovery!

David & Sherie cover the steps to recovery for the addict, with additions to our original episodes when we first started. Several additional steps like understanding addiction, processing past trauma and creating boundaries are now included.

David & Sherie finish talking about the letting go technique that will help with working through negative past experiences along with helping with stress and even triggers.

David & Sherie talk about a wondering technique for letting go of strong, negative emotions. It's a step-by-step guide that you can do on your own with a few minutes that will have a profound effect on how you feel. It comes from David Hawkins book Letting Go, which we highly recommend. Part one of two.

David & Sherie talk about why many relationships need a marriage contract, especially after infidelity and disclosure. We will talk about how to do it and what to cover so you can create your own.

David & Sherie talk about 3 simple (not necessarily easy!) things that every healthy and happy relationship need to have and do: be loving, communicate clearly, and hold boundaries until there's problem solving.

David & Sherie continue talking about what healthy couples do to have good relationships, and cover 5 things specifically that we can, including turning towards bids for connection, flipping your internal script, ritualize cherishing, learn to fight smarter, and making time together.