Two Nerd Tables and a Microphone

"I'm just so tired. He never lets up. Every time you think he's gone, he just shows back up to destroy something else." Iburon is a Naya elephant with only three modes; none of them are good for your opponents. This week's mechanic is: Cleave: You may cast this card for it's cleave cost. If you do, remove the words in the brackets.

*We did 100% forgot there was already a legendary creature named Rafiq in MTG when we named this week's commander. S/O to all the Rafiq of the Many stans out there. Our bad.* "He can never make up his damn mind. He wants us all to be stronger than him, but also wants to be the strongest. I just don't get it." We drummed up an Abzan turtle for our first of two Crimson Vow episodes. He's a soldier t...

As Phask appeared the rocks stirred and the ground quaked. His presence was overpowering. Thankfully, he leaves as quickly as he appears. We made a solid mono green golem.

Pyrok's birth is always violent. The immediate loss of a life is needed to unleash his full power. The ultimate example of the many outweighing the few. We made a Boros elemental that explodes once he's had his fill. This week's mechanic: Emerge: Emerge [cost] (You may cast this spell by sacrificing a creature and paying the emerge cost reduced by that creature's converted mana cost)

"You'll be dead soon, the voice whispered to Porgnoid. You'll be fuel for the coming fire." He quickly sat upright looking around for the owner of the voice. It sounded like that old shaman's he thought, but he'd been dead for days now... We drummed up a goblin shaman who is all about haunting his minions while chewing through the library. Haunt: (When this creature dies, exile it haunting target...

The arrival of the bog mist was a curse. They're always in there. Goading us. Mocking us. Ending us. We got a Sultai changling that's always swinging. We also broach the topics of butthole botox and bully Tom Brady. This week's mechanic: Provoke: (Whenever this creature attacks, you may have target creature defending player controls untap and block it if able.)

"I'll never leave, bellowed Zesh'Dox! I am eternal! Death means nothing when one's grave is just a hole!" We missed a week! But, in my "professional" opinion, we made up for it with this how Witchmaw zombie troll. This week's mechanic: Persist: (When this creature dies, if it had no -1/-1 counters on it, return it to the battlefield under its owner's control with a -1/-1 counter on it.)

"I see all from afar to only bring the end to those so close." We made an Azorius sphinx whose curses sting a little. This week's mechanics: Coven: If you control three or more creatures with different powers do ____

" No one lives forever. But if I have my way, they can at least live twice." This is the first of our Innastrad: Midnight Hunt commanders, and he's a nasty three color wizards. He's an abazan lich who just wants to bring all his friends back from the graveyard. This week's mechanic is: Disturbed: (You may cast this card from your graveyard transformed for its disturb cost.)

The silence of the forest was shattered. He had arrived, and they knew their end was neigh. We got ourselves a mono green phyrexian that devours all life; your opponent's as well as your own. This week's mechanic is: Channel: Until end of turn, any time you could activate a mana ability, you may pay 1 life. If you do, add {C}.

Chevrath waited patiently in the antechamber. "Absolutely NOT!" The king's shouts rang out against the stone walls of the keep. "Sir, he can hear you." Chevrath laughed. "He'll come on around, he thought. Once he sees what I see, he may never let me leave." We made a badger shaman that wants to give you all the information. This week's mechanic is: Fading: N (This creature enters the battlefield w...

"Do we have to hire him, Squee moaned? He's just...he wiped out half of our army last time, too." Grenzo glared at his goblin companion, "yes you cowardly little worm. I'm here to win. No matter the cost." We made a troll who's here to fuck shit up. Grog'Nok is a jund monster that wants you to be king. This week's mechanic is: Convoke: Convoke (Your creatures can help cast this spell. Each creatur...

" Frayalise has been very busy, it seems." Phenatea scribbled some notes before making her way back towards her scrying shelves. "I wonder what Karn has been up too..." We made a Dunebrood centaur god who loves a good book...err...saga, I guess, and wants to throw them into exile. This week's mechanic: Recover: (When a creature is put into your graveyard from the battlefield, you may pay [cost]. I...

"I must have MORE!" Zaz'Gac's bloated grumbles could be heard from every corner of the war camp. "We are close to victory, so I must have more..." We made a Sultai troll who LOVES food, and wants all his friends to swing. This week's Mechanic: Riot: (This creature enters the battlefield with your choice of a +1/+1 counter or haste.)

Thildor glared across the table at the cocky elf in his big, fancy chair. "You think you're high and mighty now. Just you wait!" With that, Thildor took his leave. We made a Simic frog wizard thats gonna knock you down a peg or two. This week's mechanic: Dethrone: (Whenever this creature attacks the player with the most life or tied for most life, put a +1/+1 counter on it.)

"An infiltration you say?" Trista smiled as her machinations sprang to life. "My little friends can take care of that for you." We made an Orzhov artificer who never shows up alone. This week's mechanic: Fabricate: Fabricate N (When this permanent enters the battlefield, you may put N +1/+1 counters on it. If you don't, create N 1/1 colorless Servo artifact creature tokens.)

We have share some thoughts on meatloaf and drum up a pretty cool golgari troll who is all about adventures. This week's mechanic: Adventure: Casting the Adventure half of a card represents sending the creature on an adventure before putting it onto the battlefield.[3] When the adventure resolves, the card is exiled. When exiled as part of the resolution, the creature may be cast from exile.

"Get off. My. LAWN,"Sorcha bellowed as boulder's rained from her cliff side cave. We made a real ornery bant giantess who wants you off her mutha F***in lawn. We also have some thoughts on Detroit and friendship. This week's mechanic: Forecast:[cost] (Activate this ability only during your upkeep and only once each turn.)

It's been a minute since I was hungover on a weekday. While...wrong choices were possibly made, our mono blue turtle was not one of them. This week's mechanic: Provoke: (Whenever this creature attacks, you may have target creature defending player controls untap and block it if able.)

Four color commanders are fun. And this wild imp is no exception. We plopped out a late night, kinda drunk, persist commander that you're gonna want to sacrifice over and over again. This week's mechanic: Persist: (When this creature dies, if it had no -1/-1 counters on it, return it to the battlefield under its owner's control with a -1/-1 counter on it.)

Everyone likes dwarves. They party, they have cool beards, and they like artifacts. But what if they had a god that actually liked enchantments? You're right, it IS cool. Check out our Mardu god and all her fun enchantment tricks. This week's Mechanic: Splice: Splice onto [quality] [cost] (As you cast a(n) [quality] spell, you may reveal this card from your hand and pay its splice cost. If you do,...

We lived through our harrowing week of dungeon grinding to 70; I know all of you were worried. However, the episode was record a couple weeks prior in anticipation of our demise/exhaustion from playing too much of one video game. So, enjoy our dope ink-treader conspire commander, and we'll be back fresh as a baby's bathed butt next week. This week's mechanic: Conspire: is a keyword ability that al...

Ya'll, it's goll durn TBC Launch Eve!! We got poems, maybe the end to Sad Boy Summer(it's not), and an amazing Naya giant that's just out here to sneak attack your boys to the field. We get after it this week, so strap in. This week's mechanic: Jump-start:(You may cast this card from your graveyard by discarding a card in addition to paying its other costs. Then exile this card.)

Sad Boy Summer is in full effect this week, y'all. And with that we have an Orzhov homunculus that's looking to grow in strength. This week's mechanic is: Transfigure:[cost] ([Cost], Sacrifice this permanent: Search your library for a creature card with the same converted mana cost as this permanent and put that card onto the battlefield. Then shuffle your library. Transfigure only as a sorcery..)

Gruul commanders like big creatures. But what if...one didn't? We flip the script on this classic color combo with a dwarf masochist who loves him some auras. This week's mechanic is: Auras: an enchantment that has text that reads "enchant [type]"