Turn it Up! Marriage Tips and Tools

Is there something in your life or marriage that needs to change? Perhaps there is something that isn't working or could be better. This recording will give you the Four D's of change that will help you figure out where you want to go and how to get there. I learned this from my pastor, Dr. Jim Reeve, Senior Pastor of Faith Church in West Covina California.    If you found this helpful,...

Why give grace to others?  How would you like to be treated when you make a mistake? Would you like others to give grace to you? Would you like them to treat you with judgment and condemnation? Would you like them to speak to you harshly and ask "Why did you do that?"  If you're like me you would like them to give you grace, right? What is grace? It is understanding, forgiveness and acce...

Are you or someone you know getting married? Here are ten questions to ask yourself BEFORE you get married so that you can avoid making one of the biggest mistakes in your life and instead make one of the best decisions of your life.   When you ask yourself these questions, you will make a more rational, well thought out decision to marry rather than an emotional one. It really is true t...

Marriage gone cold?  Here's how to turn up the H.E.A.T. There are lots of things in life that can cause a marriage that was once hot to go cold. Has your marriage gone cold? Could it be better? Are you not as close as you once were?  This recording will teach you how to turn up the HEAT again. Here's what HEAT stands for: H- Admit you need help E - Education. You need information and to...

Are your hobbies damaging your marriage? This recording will give you 5 steps to fix this. Hobbies like playing golf, going shopping, riding dirt bikes, are not bad but they can take over your life and become more important to you than your marriage.   There are many things that can damage a marriage - working too much, focusing too much on the kids even spending too much time serving at...

Here's a great marriage tip - Accept your spouse's influence.  Do you ever feel that you and your spouse are on different pages?  You see things differently, have different ideas about what to do to solve a problem, have different needs, desires and wants. HOW DO YOU GET ON THE SAME PAGE? One tip is to accept his or her influence.    God’s plan for your marriage is found in Gen...

Consider your perspective.  How you view things determines how you do things. Another way to say that is: Your perspective affects your performance.  If your spouse asks you to take out the trash or mow the lawn or go to the store for something, or help the kids with their homework, how do you view that request?  If you view the requests from your spouse as a chore, a task, or an in...

The first step to improving your marriage is to admit you need help. What do you want your marriage to be like? If you want to get on the same page as your spouse, communicate better, solve problems and stop arguing, then you probably need help. We don't want to get help generally. We instead deny we need help or we think that our self effort will fix things. Sometimes we just fake it and pretend...

Here's Valentines day tip: demonstrate your love. Do you demonstrate your love for your spouse? Most of us feel love towards the person we are married to. But do you consistently demonstrate that love? How do you know if someone means what they say? It's when they follow up their words with their actions.    God did that for us. Romans 5:8 says that God demonstrated his own love for us i...

Do you know how to respond instead of react? This is one of the most common mistakes we all make in relationships, we react instead of respond. When your spouse is upset at you for something and tells you about it, chances are you feel he/she is attacking you and your react. When you react you get defensive, start explaining, excusing yourself and perhaps blaming someone else. When you choose to r...

Here's a relationship suggestion that will remove a common mistake couples make. Instead of asking for what you need or want in your marriage, you assume your spouse will provide that. When they don't, you get offended and say, "You should have..."  You just put a should all over your spouse. The answer is to turn your should statement into a wish. "I wish you wouldn't do that..." This then i...

Have you ever felt hopeless, helpless and powerless when facing a problem? I've felt that way. I found three powerful problem solving questions that helped me solve some problems and deal with the challenges of life more effectively.    Here are the three questions:  1. What can you do?  2. What would you like to do?  3. What will you do?   In this teaching I'll expla...

Are your words helping or hurting your marriage? Here's 20 words to use/not use that will help you have the marriage you really want. The way you talk to your spouse can either hurt or help your marriage.    Proverbs 18:21 says Death and life are in the power of the tongue, And those who love it will eat its fruit.   This episode gives 10 words/phrases that are helpful and 10 w...

Do you know how to grieve or how to help someone going through grief? There are a lot of people in our community grieving today. If you are grieving the loss of someone you loved or if you love someone who is going through grief, this episode will really help you.   First I will teach you the common ways I've seen people grieve. Only one of these ways is helpful. The other ways only make the...

Do you want to have a great marriage? One way to have that is to regularly ask yourself and then ask you spouse the "connection question." Hi, I'm Kelly, pastor, police chaplain and marriage coach with another tool that will help you have the lifelong marriage you really want.  The connection question is basically, "how's our connection?"  Other ways you could ask that are:  1. How...

Do you know how to help someone you love share their feelings? It could be your spouse, your kids or a friend. Everyone needs a safe place to process and share how they feel about things in life. This skill will help you become closer and be the supportive person your loved one needs. Emotions need motion and you can be a catalyst that helps someone get out what is in their heart instead of just s...

I've discovered a big mistake wives make. Have you ever been frustrated when you've asked your husband to do something and he didn't do it? Listen to this episode to find out what the big mistake is and the simple fix that will change everything.   If you like this tip, go to https://turnitup.coach for my free video course on how to stop drifting apart in your marriage. You'll also find lots...

Do you know what the simplest and best way to strengthen your marriage or relationship is? You may laugh when I give you the answer because it's common sense, but I talk to couples all the time who have let this slip from their lives and their marriage suffers because of it. Here’s the answer – spend time together. Just like the phone you have, you’ve got to charge it up for it to work. If you don...