Turn it Up! Marriage Tips and Tools

Conflict avoidance in marriage quietly does more damage than an honest argument ever would. I'm Kelly DuPee, a Christian marriage coach and police chaplain, and in this video I'll show you why you avoid hard conversations (and sometimes even avoid your spouse), where that habit came from, and five Biblical steps to finally break it.------------------------------------------------In this re...

Little lies are one of the fastest ways to create broken trust in marriage, and most couples don't even realize they're doing it. In this video, Christian marriage coach and police chaplain Kelly DuPee breaks down why white lies do so much damage to your marriage, and gives you five practical steps to finally stop telling them.------------------------------------------------In this video y...

Trying to control your anger before it damages your marriage? I'm Kelly DuPee, a Christian marriage coach and police chaplain, and in this video I break down Ephesians 4:26-27 and give you ten practical, Biblical ways to overcome an anger problem before it hurts the people you love most.------------------------------------------------In this video you will learn:- What Ephesians 4:26-27 actual...

Are you struggling with stonewalling in your marriage because your husband goes silent and won't respond, even when you ask him directly? I'm Kelly DuPee, a Christian marriage coach and police chaplain, and in this video I'll show you what's really behind his silence and the five-step tool that finally gets him to respond.------------------------------------------------In this vide...

Struggling with communication in marriage because your husband turns every hard conversation into one about him? I'm Kelly DuPee, a Christian marriage coach and police chaplain, and in this video I'll show you why he does it and the simple tool that stops it.------------------------------------------------In this video you will learn:- The three patterns that shut down real communication i...

This is Christian marriage advice for the moment your husband goes silent because he can't fix what's hurting you. I'm Kelly DuPee, a Christian marriage coach and police chaplain, and in this video I'll show you why so many husbands shut down when they can't fix your problem, and what they can do instead. In this video you will learn:The two things every one of us reaches for w...

He goes quiet. You push him to keep talking, and somehow that turns into a fight. You finally give up, exhausted, still never having said what was really on your heart. Sound familiar? In this video, Christian marriage coach Kelly DuPée breaks down why husbands emotionally shut down during hard conversations, why trying to push through it only escalates things, and gives you a practical, biblicall...

Do you avoid conflict in your marriage because every time you try to work through it, it turns into a fight? Christian marriage coach and police chaplain Kelly DuPee teaches a biblical approach to conflict resolution in marriage — 7 steps for having a calm, confrontational conversation and saying the hard thing with love, clarity, and without starting a war.----------------------------------------...

Do you know what to do when your spouse is angry at you? Christian marriage coach, pastor, and police chaplain Kelly DuPée uses a simple picture — the water bucket and the gasoline bucket — to show why most of us make an angry moment worse without even realizing it, and gives you seven biblical steps to respond instead of react. In this video you will learn:* Why your brain treats a spouse's a...

Do you want to be your husband's wife or his mom? Join me as I explain the “mothering” (parent-child) dynamic that can develop in marriage when one spouse manages and the other checks out, leading to resentment, lost respect, and fading intimacy. I emphasize that neither spouse is the villain and that change starts by naming the pattern without blame and owning each partner’s role. Learn pract...

10 Practical Christian Dating Tips to Avoid Heartbreak and Find God’s BestPastor and marriage coach Kelly DuPee shares practical, faith-based dating guidance for Christian singles who want marriage without anxiety and confusion. He urges viewers to first surrender daily to God and ask whether marriage is God’s will and whether the person they’re dating is God’s choice, emphasizing that singleness...

Stop worrying about where your relationship is going. Learn how to manage dating anxiety and find peace while dating as a Christian. Many people struggle with the constant pressure of defining a relationship too early. If you are a follower of Jesus navigating the modern dating scene, you likely face internal stress when things feel uncertain. This video explores why asking where is this going oft...

Wait on God or Take Action? 5 Spirit-Led Steps Toward Marriage (Without Forcing It)Join me as I share how I learned to move forward in dating with peace—without striving, panic, or settling—by taking Spirit-led action. In this 4th video of my dating series, I tell the story of how God led me toward my wife, Carrie, including what I sensed the Lord speak to me in Italy, how I began thanking God in...

Dating With Peace: Hearing God’s Voice and Receiving His Best by Faith (4 Takeaways)Join me as I continue my dating series by teaching how faith changes the way you wait, listen, and move forward. God speaks through impressions, thoughts, and scripture, and doubt often blocks hearing God’s voice. During a one-year fast from dating, I asked God if it was His plan for me to marry and sensed God affi...

Dating Feels Like a Minefield? How to Trust God’s Best and Find Peace Before MarriageChristian marriage coach Kelly DuPee explains why he’s teaching on dating: who you marry strongly affects the health of your marriage, so dating requires wisdom and discernment to trust God’s best. He shares how a painful breakup and a friend’s question—“Was she God’s best for you?”—led another friend to challenge...

Dating & Marriage: How I Discerned God’s Best (4 Steps to Trust God While Dating)I share how a friend’s question after a breakup—“Was she God’s best for you?”—completely changed the way I think about dating and discernment. As a Christian marriage coach and pastor who’s been married nearly 39 years, I explain that the purpose of dating isn’t just falling in love, but evaluating whether this is...

Vacation Planning Tips for Couples: How to Have a Great Trip With Your SpouseJoin me as I share practical vacation planning tips to help couples enjoy a successful getaway and avoid the stress that can create conflict in marriage. I emphasize planning logistics and details together, talking through what each spouse wants, and preventing predictable frustrations by making reservations, researching...

7 Habits Husbands Wish Their Wives Had In this video I share what I’ve learned from 1,000+ hours of coaching conversations with couples (plus 38 years of marriage) about the habits many husbands quietly wish their wives would develop—without guilt, condemnation, or turning it into a weapon. I explain why small, consistent habits shape the atmosphere and security of a marriage, then walk through se...

7 Habits Wives Wish Their Husbands Had Christian marriage coach Kelly DuPée shares seven practical habits he says wives most often wish their husbands practiced, drawn from over 1,000 hours of coaching and 38 years of marriage, emphasizing this is not about guilt but growth. The habits are: care about your wife by truly listening and supporting her; don’t get defensive when she raises concerns and...

7 Steps to Set Boundaries That Actually Work (Christian Marriage Help)In this episode, I explain how to move from simply saying no to setting clear, Godly boundaries in marriage when a spouse ignores your “no” and disrespect, pressure, or irresponsibility keep creating resentment. I share a progression I teach—suggestion, wish, request, then boundary—and clarify that a request depends on your part...

Why Saying No in Marriage Feels So Hard (and How to Rebuild a Kind No Without Guilt)In this episode of my “No Series,” I explain why saying no in marriage can feel unsafe and how to retrain yourself to say no with clarity, kindness, and confidence. I cover common emotional barriers—guilt from past manipulation, fear of conflict, fear of consequences like withdrawal or sarcasm, feeling overly respo...

Hearing No in Marriage: How to Respond with Strength, Love, and RespectI talk about why many marriages don’t break down because of a “no,” but because of what happens in the next 60 seconds—disappointment, anger, and pressure turning into conflict. As part of my series on incorporating no into your relationship, I share a biblical foundation (Ephesians 5:33, Matthew 5:37, 2 Corinthians 9:7, Amos 3...

Say No Better to your Spouse. How to Set Boundaries with Clarity & Kindness (Without Starting a Fight)In this episode, I teach how saying no in marriage can be safe, clear, and kind—so you can protect your peace without damaging connection. I explain that no is not rejection but information, and that honest boundaries support unity and trust. Using biblical guidance (Matthew 5:37, 2 Corinthian...

Saying No in Marriage Without Starting a Fight (A Biblical Way to Make “No” Feel Safe Again)I share a simple Biblical way to make saying no feel safe again in marriage by treating “no” as information, not rejection, so you respond with curiosity instead of control. I explain how conflict escalates when a request becomes a fight over what it “means,” and why you actually want your spouse to be able...

Turn Conflict Into Clarity: Making Requests in MarriageIn this episode, I share a simple “volume knob” tool to reduce everyday marriage frustration by improving how we communicate. Using a real example from a couple with an infant, I explain four levels of communication—suggestion, wish, request, and boundary—and how moving from hints to clear, respectful making requests can prevent resentment and...