Tummy Time

Ryan Cownie, comedian and future author of "The Three Times I Peed My Pants in Public in LA (and the One Time I Shit Myself), A Novel by Ryan Cownie", regales the Tummy Time boyz with tales of growing up in Nebraska en route to LA: getting tackled too hard, impromptu scoliosis checks, poop-covered garage hopping, and cereal killing - each story is more incredible and piss-covered than the next. Wi...

The First Las Vegas Special! That's right, the boyz are living large in Vegas (for work). Join us in our fancy suite as we regale you with the many amenities: from a massage room, to the bidet, and all the way to an intimacy kit. And we dive DEEP into that intimacy kit - show you ALL the INs and OUTs. Scheduling conflicts prevented us from having a prostitute on the show but Jussy more than ma...

Christopher Corbin (Jane the Virgin, Our Flag Means Death) finally reveals whether he's taking his talents to South Beach in this episode of Tummy Time, 'The Circum-Decision'. We discuss his decision to get circumcised later in life: Was a hot girl the impetus? If he had more positive Brazilian role models, would he have gotten the snip? How many is a Brazilian? Christopher takes us on a journey t...

We're expanding the Tummy Time cinematic universe with a special guest this episode! Welcome, Seaneila: chef, nurse, and Neil's little sister. Join the tummy crew as we grill Seaneila with the hard-hitting, highly integral journalism you've come to expect from the show. Justin asks Seaneila for relationship advice. So if you've wondered "How can I ensure that I die alone?&quot...

Growing old is hard and your teeth fall out of your damb head. It's a fact of life. Sometimes, you have to get the teeth pulled to move forward. Justin is taking care of business and goes his ass to the dentist. Then they overcharge him. Such is life. Maybe he could have just visited the dude running a dentistry operation from his LaQuinta room at least that would have cost less. Community poo...

Welcome back to Tummy Time. We get deep in this one. Justin digs down and explores his ancestry in the shocking series conclusion of 'Can Justin Say It?' After we read the DNA test (spoiler alert, he is NOT the father), we discuss Justin's persuit of becoming a child actor. First step: headshot. Where can you get a headshot in the 90s in Southeast Texas? Only one place: Parkdale Mall....

We get right into it on this Tummy Time. Justin relives his time in LA and recalls his appearance on the Live Stand-Up Show: Kill Tony. Greg Fitzsimmons was the guest host this time around and subsequently recalls roasting a "homeless" guy when he was hosting Kill Tony. That homeless guy? None other than one, Mr. Justin Soileau. In spite of all that, Justin is back on the stand-up grinds...

Tummy Time is back for another round. We had some listener feedback and we wanted to set the record straigh so at the top of the show, we call Curt, the impetus behind the infamous 'letter to my high school coach'. The man whose plying time was robbed - and boy, do we get answers. A Tennessee news anchor got fired for purportedly getting too handsy at multiple Christmas parties - oh, also...

We're starting this episode right with some certified giggles. A BBC reporter gets hotboxed, John Tesh is good at basketball (music), and a bungee jumper finds himself at the end of his rope. Cyst loves me! Neil's (literal) ass is looking for an invite on Dr. Pimple Popper. If Joe Biden wants to defeat Trump again, he's gonna have to bring the heat - let's hear the president's...

Put up your dukes! Queensbury Rules in this episode of Tummy Time. Starting off the show with some extreme penis dating. Some like it small, some like it big, and fortunately, there are some niche sites for that. Jussie almost gets in a convenience store brawl but just gets called a Debbie Downer for not doing Tranq or buying purportedly legal and legit power tools from a van. Slap competitions an...

Hold on-to your hats for this Tummy Time and maybe check out the video feed for this special show-and-tell podcast episode. Jussy brings in some playing cards from a dead pervert then reminisces about the many things he got from his Paw-Paw: his red beard, and a copy of Playboy's Foxiest Females. Vanna White is in this one! Jussy gives us his pick for foxiest female in the magazine then laments th...

Welcome back to Tummy Time and boy, do we have something special going on. Justin is going to take a 23 and Me DNA test to find out if he's 100% that bitch. Depending on how much Cajun he has in him, he might be celebrating over some frog legs. We're still on Adam Sandler, no not the Evil Elmo Sandler. We're discussing his most problematic film - and it ain't Click. Pivot from Adam Sandler to murd...

We're getting our lay-down lick-on for this podcast episode. A long week forced a short turnaround and a somewhat casual affair. Justin went on a trip with friends who refused to let him enjoy 'Click'. Thor, the masturbating walrus has been spotted again. Ancient dildos lead to ivory dildos: a microcosm of the impacts of colonialism. Some dude with a small penis is happy with his sex life now that...

The Tummy Time Boyz are back to kickstart your week. We start off by going back in time to watch quality USA Network Late Night Programming: Strip Poker. There was a Super Bowl this past week which featured a streaker with no cakes. Raquel Welch, famous for cakes, dies at 82. A European Blimp deffo got cakes. Maryland is finally considering decriminalizing oral in 2023 - maybe because the average...

Welcome back to Tummy Time. Justin's getting JACKED, sorry Soggy Ben. The boyz get meta and watch some Tummy Time clips on the Tummy Time podcast. Justin gets Emo before presenting some information about Dr. Jill Biden and Fist Gentleman, Doug Emhoff. Harken over to the Monkey corner: we got two monkey, we got twelve monkies, we got a solo monkey getting pregnant. Canadian ground hog found dead ju...

Tummy Time Coming in hot! We got some kid stories, some dog stories, and a bevvy of basketball in this one, folks. We start off the top of the show with a gentle reminder to watch the Puppy Bowl which will not star Bobi, the current record holder for Oldest Dog. Poor Tom Brady, what ever will he do with his time in retirement? Justin played youth sports and won many award (singular) in his signatu...

Love is in the air as we take some trips down memory lane in this one. We first give you an update on Maegan Hall's career opportunities, then zoom out and see how the French really view Americans. Justin then brings us a sweet Valentine's Day story from before he had his own money. The Tummy Time Boys then pick up the local news wire and take a peek at what Killeen ISD is teaching middle schooler...

Tummy Time is flying first class for this one. We kick things off with some classic dating advice from the 1930s. Justin regales us with both his lukewarm reception on flying first class for the first time and his undying love for the Q-tip. Salt is both a Christian Dating App and what we feel for Norm MacDonald's placement on Rolling Stone's SNL Top List. Barbara Walters talks about sex all the t...

Welcome back for your weekly session of Tummy Time! We start off with some 'shopped Monkey knockers and immediately start celebrating MLK Day by re-positing the question: Is Julia Roberts Still Not Martin Luther King, Jr.'s Daughter? Justin then reminisces about his first time getting low on the dance floor and Neil remembers how we used to be able to say 'skeet' on the radio. Harken further back...

Welcome to Tummy Time! Top of the show, Justin brings in an internet throwback: Booty Warrior, Fleece Johnson. Neil brings some stock imagery search: cancer. Open-chan, 7-11's Taiwan (or Tai-ONE China) mascot goes for a little flight on opening day. Celine Dion sings a song to inspire Justin. Mike Post makes bank for every clank-clank you hear on Law & Order. Speaking of music, Afroman drops a...

Post Christmas and Justin's got Covid! So we're trying out that remote podcast thing. How are you supposed to wear a hat? Flat billed or curled? Some more fond Christmas memories surface as Justin remmebers that time his brother-in-law slapped his cousin's ass thinking it was his sister. Art wants to know if Justin's sister and cousin have similar asses. Is Papa Roach cool? Jussy is listening irre...

This turkey needed a little longer in the oven. But thank goodness it's ready! We start the top of the podcast with a recap of the World Cup and Argentina's BIG win. Justin is offered a one-way ticket to titty jail. Will he take it? Alicia Silverstone for PETA and what Neil does with leather. We then divert attention to the 45th president and what he's been up to. Also, would YOU have dinner with...

Welcome to Tummy Time. This Tummy Time around, we start off by brainstorming a pitch deck for Gary, Indiana. We then really get going on a horny note provided by a 30-something Internet Love Sleuth. Justin gives relationship advice and asks us to rate dead people. Neil continues the questioning of whether or not Justin is, in fact, a shmo. The boyz dive deep into merkins and pudendum before talkin...

The Tummy Boyz meet again for your weekly pulse check. Justin starts the show off on - surprise, surprise - a horny note. However, he reveals he would not take a punch from a woman and being the consummate feminist, he'd have no qualms reporting her to the police. Justin and Neil harken back a year to remember that every day there's an office Christmas party lap dance. Remember Mononucleosis? Neil...

Justin and Neil get greasy on this one. Before getting into the meat and potatoes of workers' rights, Justin primes the pump with pulse checks on a strung out hot judge and a hand bra laden Britney Spears. Neil is beleaguered by the shift in Internet Culture. Liam Gallagher has some things to say about stuff during the FIFA World Cup US v Great Britain game. Justin and Neil reminisce about their t...