Trader Hoes

Hoes, we’re getting salty this week. We’ve got some gripes about non-resealable chip bags, and we’re pairing them with some equally salty (and spicy) snacks. Plus, we want you to Share Your Stupid with us. Like Evie’s conclusion that Peruvia was a made-up country because of a Kim Possible episode, we want to hear those moments that make you face palm when you relive them. Send ‘em our way so we ca...

We’re spreading the love this week, Hoes. We also have a very important question for you: What kind of dodgeball player are you? While you ponder that, we’ll share some addicting jams and spreads with you and one that just didn’t do it for us, honey. And to further our promise of making this an educational podcast, we dissect the differences between jams and jellies and wonder if I Can’t Believe I...

While we round out the pumpkin reviews this year, we need some help, Hoes. How do we cook the Spicy Pumpkin Curry Simmer Sauce? We’ll keep snacking on these pumpkin sweets, but please halp. Also, some announcements: Catch us getting written up in the Phoenix New Times (Not the New York Times...yet), Katie’s husband is basically a doctor now and Evie will never let go of charcuterie boards.  In the...

This is the pumpkin episode Evie has been waiting for. We’ve been patiently prioritizing other pumpkin items while these ones constantly called to us. The time has finally come and, Hoes, they did not disappoint. We also learn that physics don’t apply to pumpkin season, Queer Eye is our quarantine dopamine source and Trader Joe’s is trying to start something between the East and West Coasts. Plus,...

This was a week for carbs. And because it’s late September, you know they’re Pumpkin Spice carbs. Also, we need your help, Hoes. Katie is looking for pro baking tips, so if you’ve mastered the art of cookie-making, share the wealth. While you’re at it, let us know if “dense” is the new “thicc.” We think we can make it happen.  🛒 In the cart:  Pumpkin Brioche Maple Streusel Bread  Pumpkin Blondie...

Are you ready, Hoes? ‘Tis the season for pumpkin spice, and we’re feeling festive AF. Even though it’s still triple digits here in AZ, we’ve got our cozy slippers on, and we’re pairing them with some brand new Trader Joe’s pumpkin picks. We’re also very concerned with Harry Potter’s hydration and physical activity regimen and considering a new podcast, Evie and Katie Complain About Shit. Who knows...

We’ve said it before, and we’ll say it again: This is an educational podcast, Hoes. And this week, we’re getting schooled by some great choices from our Patron Katie S. during our first ever Choose Your Hoe Adventure episode. We handed the reigns over and let Katie S. introduce us to some newish items. We also learn how cassava and tapioca are connected, how great the need for cheese trail mix is...

In this loosely themed episode, we dive into some cheese and crackers that would make for one wild charcuterie board. We also declare that we’re ready for Fall and bread bowls, pitch the idea of TJ’s adult Lunchables and may need to issue an apology to our nemeses, microwave muffins.  In the cart: Shredded Unexpected Cheddar Unexpected Broccoli Cheddar Soup Everything But The Gluten Crackers Nacho...

Hoes, we deserved this episode. After last week’s muffin fiasco, we’re feeding our souls with some surprisingly authentic new pastas. Seriously, we cannot shut up about how good this pasta is and how reminiscent it is of actual pasta that we tried in Italy. It’s a problem. We’d also like to draw your attention to the perfect metaphor of emotional Whack-A-Mole during the pandemic and the genius ide...

Well, Hoes, emotions rise unlike our attempts at muffins this week, as we try our hand at baking up some easy breakfast. Spoiler: Things are half-baked at best. You’ll also hear a special dramatic reading, all about Katie’s week of successes and only mild panic at a surprise Zoom guest.  🛒 In the cart:  Protein Dark Chocolate Muffin Protein Maple Muffin Cheese-less Cheesecakes  Support the show

Good news, Hoes: We try some delightful new TJ’s snacks this week. Bad news: We also cover imaginary friends, gummy birth control, TJ’s getting coached by Gary V and Katie’s Test Kitchen adventures. Or maybe you’d like bad news and then good news, depending on what kind of child you were.  🛒 In the cart:  Organic Fruit Flavored Snacks Bazaar Basket Snack Mix Dark Chocolate Almond Butter Cup Suppo...

This week, it’s all about that new new. We enrobe ourselves in a mini roundup of some especially tempting newbies that we’ve been eyeing for weeks. While we finally dive in, Evie learns what Reno 911 is, Katie discovers that movie theaters have flavored popcorn and we share our newest call to action: Drop the names, Joe.  🛒 In the cart: Crispy Banana Ribbons  Berry Flavored Soft Licorice Twists H...

We’re going to start things out on a bit of a serious note, Hoes. This past week, a petition surfaced that called for Trader Joe’s to remove the racist names (Trader Ming’s, Trader Jose’s, Trader Giotto’s, etc) from their products. Trader Joe’s response was less than satisfactory, to say the least. We decided to proceed with the episode as planned this week, but we’ll keep you posted on any decisi...

Okay, Hoes, we know everything is cake now, but is pink a fruit? We answer this and so many other burning questions this week while sipping on some oh-so-refreshing lemonades and one limeade that fixed our posture. We also ponder the disturbing origins of pink lemonade, invite you into Evie’s test kitchen and fondly remember the good ol’ days at buffets.  🛒 In the cart: Low-Calorie Pink Lemonade...

Despite our discussion of laundry habits and preferred dairy alternatives, this episode’s cool factor is still through the roof thanks to some new and new-to-us Trader Joe’s ice cream. Plus, all Katie wants for her birthday this week is for you to believe that her sweaty thighs really did betray her at a middle school pool party way back when.  🛒In the cart:  Matcha Green Tea Ice Cream Non-Dairy...

In honor of the country once again becoming obsessed with Hamilton , we’re doing our own little “Cabinet Battle” of sorts as we put two Trader Joe’s items up against their OG counterparts. But unlike the Tony’s golden child, this production includes botched lyrics, a new movie pitch for Pixar, some bonsai tree discoveries, and a call to cancel bras once and for all. Just you wait, just you wait. ...

It's been a long time coming, Hoes, but the moment has finally arrived. We officially taste the wonder that is Trader Joe’s Scandinavian Swimmers. And to quench Katie’s renewed thirst for knowledge, we share the definition of a Karen, the difference between a marlin and a swordfish, and the fact that no water is required to enjoy the Swimmers.  In the cart:  Cauliflower Jalapeno Dip  Scandinavian...

With COVID-19 sweeping the state, we had to get a little creative this week. Enter Hoe and Tell. We rounded up Trader Joe’s items old and new from our kitchens and shared our unsynchronized feastinis, our love of women raising up other women, and our gratitude for not having to smell each other.  In the cart (kind of): Butter Chicken Palak Paneer Naan  Sparkling Watermelon Juice  Breaded Chicken T...

Things get pretty spicy this week, and we’re not just talking about Katie “Quick Pick” Bravo’s threats and perspective on practical jokes. It’s a jalapeño showdown with an extra sweet treat to top it all off. Plus, we try to figure out the average lifespan of a cat, Scandinavians’ virility, and just how gross thinly sliced hot dogs would be on a charcuterie board.  In the cart:  Pickled Fermented...

Pickle Popcorn is back, Hoes! But is pickle still the flavor of the summer? Based on these items, watermelon may be taking its place. We also divulge our house guest snooping habits, confirm that we both still have trash palates, and continue to navigate the perils of recording remotely.  In the cart:  Sparkling Watermelon Juice  Organic Watermelon Jerky Watermelon Cucumber Cooler  Organic Waterme...

Hey, Hoes. It is not lost on us that it is our privilege as white women that allows us to sit safely in our homes and record an entertainment podcast. We do want to try to bring some levity to your day, but first, say that we stand against racism and the horrible violence, murders, and inequality that led to the recent protests across the country. To our black listeners, we are with you.  In this...

Spoiler alert: Quarantine has gotten weird, Hoes. We fell down a dark, twisted Trader Joe’s Test Kitchen rabbit hole and stumbled upon some equally dark, twisted tangents along the way. We find out how Katie truly feels about her grandmother, glimpse the intimate side of recording remotely and ponder if Katie’s dad is Michael Jordan’s doppelgänger. Oh, and we do talk about a few new TJ’s items...e...

Hoes, we are back! Times are crazy and weird right now, but we fought off our quarantine-induced inner demons long enough to hook these ol’ mics up to Zoom and answer your questions from Instagram. Thank you, kind Hoes, for your queries and for grinning and bearing it through the lags, connection glitches, and general tech quirks that have become our new normal. Join us as we discover why Katie ca...

It’s quarantine time and you better believe the Hoes stocked up on some Trade Joes rations. Well, technically they’re just items Evie’s been accumulating in her kitchen for roughly a year but you get the gist. From frozen apps to salty snacks, it’s a nonperishable parade of never-before-featured foods. Also on the menu, ideas for the next Pixar film, Evie's distorted music knowledge and Katie’s sa...

Well, Hoes, it was bound to happen. It took 10 episodes into season two, but we have found the item that will divide us as much in 2020 as Trader Joe’s Fig & Olive and Raisin & Rosemary Crisps did in 2019. It’s the donut. We discovered this week that we are on very opposite ends of the spectrum between liking raised and cake donuts. Which do you prefer? Along with several other breakfast b...