Trader Hoes

Pickle popcorn may not be back but a new sister item is hot on the scene (and you know the Hoes are here for it). From nuggets to chips, pickles to pretzels, Trader Joe's newest snack items are making one salty showdown.  Not on the menu but certainly on their minds: 90 Day Fiancé, a floral arrangement followup and a Pride and Prejudice take on past TJs items.  In the Cart: Chips in a Pickle  Onio...

We’re getting personal this week, Hoes, with a little walk down memory (or mammary) lane. What can we say? These vegan dips just brought us back and brought some surprises. Channel your inner child with us as we carry our breadsticks like fancy cigarettes, recount some of Evie’s favorite family recipes and question what meat (if any) was really in Chef Boyardee.  🛒 In the cart: Vegan Bolognese-St...

The Hoes kicks back with some keto -conscious snacks courtesy of Trade Joe's. Giddyup for a cheese bite bonanza featuring tomato, truffle and semi-aged perfection. Not in these resealable bags but certainly on our minds: wine (duh), Fifth Element throwbacks and a Trader Hoes floral arrangement workshop lead by yours truly - whaaat?? In the cart: Oven-Baked Cheese Bites Oven-Baked Cheese Bites with...

The stars aligned this week, Hoes. This Cancer and Taurus are going on a journey from Vermont to the elementary lunchroom and bringing TJ’s, Harry Potter, astrology and plenty of surprises along the way. We’ll be dancing like the Champignon girls we are and possibly learning Japanese from Katie’s husband. Just one question remains: Which really is the spiciest zodiac?  🛒In the cart:  Organic Toas...

No prep? No problem, because the Hoes are showcasing their thaw talents with Trader Joe’s frozen deserts. From New York style O.G. cheesecake to finger cake confections, this episode is serving layer upon layer of glucose-infused gluttony. Not in our cart but certainly on our minds: The Spice Girls, big sugar and bush honey (yeah, you read that right).  In the Cart: New York Deli Style Baked Chees...

We’re going to need you to channel SNL's city correspondent Stefon, Hoes, because this episode’s got everything: Slugging, Enneagrams, our first bi-coastal cheese exchange and the hosts of Self-Control & Cheese, Sara Pion and Bridget Poetker. We introduce these fromage fanatics to some classics, and they introduce us to some new staples all while asking the really important questions. Has anyo...

The Hoes spice up their lives with the help of Trader Joe’s seasonings — and a few dozen fries. Change your flavor profile to “it’s complicated” because we’re shaking things up with savory blends that bend space and thyme. Not on the plate but certainly on our minds: Trader Joe’s pet shop potential (Trader Joe Exotic???), Evie’s plan to prank her fiancé, and Katie’s questionable take on seafood. ...

Hoes, it is a big week. Grab your diaries, because you’re going to want to take note of this. Katie tries Cookie Butter for the first time. How did she go this long without it? We don’t know. How did we so horribly misjudge the Banana Fruit Spread? We don’t know. How did Evie end up sounding like a 911 caller in a true crime documentary? We don’t know. Why does Katie smell like chicken noodle soup...

This episode’s theme is strung together about as well as we’re keeping it “togedder.” So, just go with it when we say we’re trying some nut items this week. We’re also following up on the definition of “yeet,” asking for TJ’s to step it up for Mother’s Day and may be giving “Trader Hoes” a whole new meaning.  🛒 In the cart:  Roasted Garlic & Pesto Pizza with Deep Fried Crust Crispy Peanut But...

This week, we’re getting saucy, Hoes. And no, we’re not just talking about Katie’s beer shower. (Not shower beer. Beer shower.) We’re slurping up Trader Joe’s new Thai Noodle bowls, and they vary as much as Evie’s preference for coconuts. We also go over why it “must be hard being a pretty girl in LA,” who is the Mariah Carey of this podcast and why email is so hard.  🛒 In the cart:  Peanut Satay...

If you're looking for the Trader Hoes featured in Refinery29, you've come to the right place. And this week, Hoes, we're getting saucy with some new Trader Joe's products. We're also dissecting the various flavors of compliment sandwiches, the strange anatomy of '90s salads and what the heck meat sprinkles are.  🛒 In the cart: Breaded Fried Ravioli Bolognese Style Tomato & Beef Pasta Sauce Ca...

You know what, Hoes? We deserve to metaphorically drown ourselves (Augustus Gloop-style) in chocolate this week after the utter disappointment of last week's items. And Trader Joe's did not disappoint. We're dishing up bold new combinations, some horrendous Australian accents, childhood throwbacks and a lot of curiosity about what fathers did to piss off every country so there aren't any Fatherlan...

Yes, we’ll get into the items we tried this week, Hoes, but first, we have breaking news! Katie found a new app that allows you to get Trader Joe’s items DELIVERED. We’ll wait while you catch your breath. It’s called Dumpling, and they should sponsor us for how much we promoted them in this episode. Anyway, we also tried some Trader Joe’s items. But let’s just say that breaking news was the highli...

Hoes, we apologize right now if you can smell our breath through this episode. We were not prepared for how pungent these items would be. But if you looooooooove garlic and the resulting breath, does Trader Joe’s have some chips for you! We also spill some insider knowledge thanks to a few of our followers, welcome a new Patron to our inner circle and try not to kill our houseplants with our rank...

Hoes, this year we’re getting a new president and giving you full transparency. We are still quarantining and recording from home, and it shows. In addition to discovering the Destiny’s Child of nuts from Trader Joe's, we also find the loudest pacifier with the best comedic timing and realize Evie may need to fight Katie’s toddler for Brian’s hand in marriage.  🛒 In the cart:  A Trio of Almonds C...

If there’s one thing that’s certain in this crazy world we live in, it’s that the Hoes need to do a road trip across the country to see all of these incredible Trader Joe’s locations! Seriously, Arizona, step it up. And on that trip, we may very well bring these three quick breakfast items to sustain us. Well, one in particular is never leaving our sight, if we have any say in it. We also need the...

We made it, Hoes. This year, we’re focusing on the positives, starting with looking back on our favorites from 2020 that we hope to see again in 2021.  And in between giving ourselves pats on the back, a heartbreaking story of the loss of a perfectly good bag of jalapeño puffs and dropping air fryer suggestions, we also tease out things coming soon for these Hoes and ponder the invention of a chee...

We’ve almost made it, Hoes! We’re in the last week of the weirdest year we’ve ever lived through. And if there’s one thing we’ll take with us into 2021, it’s a newfound appreciation of cookies, especially these TJ’s holiday ones. Well, that and maybe the inspiration for holiday taxidermy, an irrational fear of voodoo cookies and the emotional scars of working at an alt weekly paper.  🛒 In the car...

We’re back! And one of these Hoes is a whole lot more engaged than the last time we recorded 💍 But back to the TJ's stuff. In preparation for this episode, we’ve been building up our sugar tolerance so we can take these holiday candies in stride. We also reveal our true feelings about mint chocolate chip in a Freudian slip, long for a return to casino bingo nights and question whether birds are r...

The holidays look a bit different this year, Hoes, so we decided to kick off our December episodes with some unusual, festive treats. Also, keep sharing your stupid with us and maybe we’ll do a roundup of our favorites. But definitely don’t share you address with us. Honestly, Katie’s probably already found it.  🛒 In the cart:  Over The River And Through The Wood Trek Mix  Sweet & Salty Snack...

The time has come! Katie can finally eat soft cheeses again, and these Hoes are taking advantage and taking on all of the hardcore wax standing in the way. But the cheesiest thing about this episode isn’t even the items we tried. Plus, somebody call The New York Times because we have the youngest podcaster ever on this episode, and she’s already got amazing taste.  🛒 In the cart:  4 Year Aged Che...

We’re getting back in the groove, Hoes. Katie has returned and is ready to wrestle some bags of Trader Joe’s crackers. Yes, wrestle. They put up quite a fight. And we put all of the energy into the universe that Katie doesn’t catch her hair on fire again this Thanksgiving. Plus, enjoy some prime storybook animal voices and some intense disdain for raisins.  🛒 In the cart:  Trail Mix Crackers Bite...

While Katie is caring for her brand new baby girl, Evie calls in a familiar Trader Bro, her boyfriend Brian, to help her sample some grilled proteins. But don’t skip this episode just yet, vegans! We’ve got a pleasantly surprising item in store for you too. While Evie and Brian fight off the meat sweats, they also dream of what it must be like on a cruise, suggest some turkey alternatives for Than...

Warning: Do not give this much chocolate to the Hoes ever again. In this sugar-fueled giggle fest, Katie and Evie sample some new (and not-so-new) chocolate items from Trader Joe’s. They also cover a very niche bucket list item, ponder the existence of zebracorns and possibly offend all of Belgium and really anyone who has an accent. Sorry and you’re welcome.  🛒 In the cart:  -Organic Almond Beve...

We don’t know what’s scarier this year, Hoes: the election, Halloween or how loosely some of these items fit into this theme? Whatever you choose, we’re getting in the spirit of the season with some of Trader Joe’s Halloween/general Fall-is treats. You also may be spooked by our most embarrassing costumes over the years, how Evie is considering distributing candy and Katie’s feline trash can. In t...