Trader Hoes

Sleep with the fridge light on, Hoes! It’s time for some Trader Joe’s horror stories courtesy of YOU, our lovely listeners. From crew member accounts to cringeworthy customer encounters, get ready for some seriously spoopy TJ’s tales.  Support the show

The Hoes are taking their popcorn to the next level with the help of Trader Joe's seasoning selection.  From a ramen-inspired vegan option to a leftover carryover, it's a flavorful foray into uncharted tastebud territory.  Not on the menu but certainly on their minds: influencers of the 1700s, Evie being a low-key movie theater chemist and Katie's ramen gang stalking theory.   In the cart: Vegan C...

Welcome to our first Basket Case, Hoes! We’re so excited for this new format, so we can explore other aspects of the Trader Joe’s experience. And to kick these off, we consulted the stars. We grabbed our crystals. We bathed in the light of the moon. And we assigned Trader Joe’s items to each sign in the astrological houses.   Check back in two weeks for the next installment where we’ll share some...

While it may not be our most important meal of the day, breakfast is possibly our favorite, especially if it’s made up of these new items. We’re flipping over pancakes from around the world, going nutty for some surprisingly perfect oatmeal, and egg-stactic for an eggless scramble. Plus, stay tuned for the end of this episode for an exciting update about our new format. Not on the menu, but certai...

It's a special Guest Hoe episode featuring Katie's husband, Sal! These Bravo Hoes are deep diving into Trader Joe's frozen apps for some serious flavor fusions. From Buffalo-Greek poppers to gussied up pigs in a blanket, it's a high steaks, higher calorie battle of the best finger foods money can buy. Not on the menu but certainly on their minds: airport cuisine, Greek football parties and some te...

The Hoes hit the new item jackpot at Trader Joe’s with a trio of new, seasonal and festive offerings. It’s a sweet and savory smackdown of butternut Sasquatch proportions. Not on the menu but certainly on their minds: horseradish fatalities, Spice People and Trader Jekyll.  In the cart: Trader Joe's Butternut Squash Mac & Cheese Bites Bamba with Hazelnut Creme Filling Spooky Bats & Cats So...

It is finally here, Hoes! We’re dipping more than a toe into pumpkin season  this week with three brand new items packed with Cucurbita. So grab your Uggs, Patagonia vests, whatever the heck pumpkin powder is, and get ready. Not on the menu, but certainly on their minds: How pumpkin butter can be a soup, why Big Sugar is once again waging war with fat, and when Katie will finally try a PSL.  🛒 In...

We’re easing into pumpkin season this year, Hoes, and we want to make sure we’re looking gourd-geous for it. So, we’re slathering on some new and classic skincare items from Trader Joe’s. Not in the cart but certainly on their minds: Summer pumpkins, where the heck Cucurbita is and if this is the year that Katie finally tries a PSL.  🛒 In the cart:  Pumpkin Overnight Face Mask  Pumpkin Body Butte...

The Hoes get bad and bubbly with some sparkling selections from Trader Joe’s. Open up a can of your favorite refreshment and get ready to answer the hard-hitting questions like is ACV the new Kombucha? More importantly, can we mix vodka with it? Not on the menu but definitely on our minds: Cactus Coolers, LipSmackers and jazz feelings.  In the Cart:  Sparkling Lemonade Sparkling Green Tea with Pin...

Sometimes, you’ve got to face the big life questions. Like why are we here? What is the meaning of life? And is brownie cake? This week, we get answers (at least to that last one) and try some new and classic Trader Joe’s baking mixes. Not on the menu but certainly on their minds: the glory of Amish baked goods, a debate about the value of Arby’s, and whether Evie is an alien or not.   🛒 In the c...

Nope, that title isn’t a trick. Katie’s taking a well-deserved week off, so Evie reeled in her fiancé, Brian, to be her co-hoe. They dove head-first into Trader Joe’s seafood burgers and paddled through all kinds of tangents. There's just one rule at this pool, though: Do not even think about microwaving these patties at work. Not on the menu but certainly on their minds: Brian’s midwestern love f...

Things heat up this week when we (kinda) cook some new Trader Joe’s frozen items. But just like Cher, these are anything but one-hit-wonders. Talk about versatility! Not on the menu but certainly on their minds: Trader Joe’s best season, Evie’s watch tan, and Katie’s relationship with potatoes.  🛒 In the cart:  Cheese empanadas with Cassava Crust  Loaded Potatoes  Eggwich Breadless Breakfast Sand...

The Hoes take a hit to the taste buds with some of Trader Joe's spiciest selections. It's an eye-watering, sweat-inducing, nostril-flaring foray into some of Joe's more formidable new items.  Not on the menu but certainly on their minds: smoked meats, mascara and Evie's marine grandma.  In the Cart: Crispy Thai Chilies & Sesame Seeds Jalapeño Monterey Jack Cheese Beemster Hatch Pepper Gouda  S...

What happens when you mix two parts Trader Hoes, one part Aaron Carter concert, one part ‘80s kids’ show and a dash of some unknown accent? Oh, just a cocktail episode! You’ve been asking for it, so we finally dug out our mixologist skills (or lack thereof) and tried out some easy, poolside-perfect mixed drinks. Let’s just say it was all a “duck blur.”  🛒 In the cart:  Espolón Tequila Blanco  Tit...

Once again, it’s time to see which champion will win the gold. No, we’re not talking about the Olympics. We’re talking another Trader Joe’s Snack Down. This time, we’re pitting M&M’s against TJ’s candy-coated competitors, and things get sticky. We also peruse the M&M’s dating profiles, get to the very well-researched bottom of the connection between chocolate and hugs, and share some very...

The Hoes have a few questions when testing out Trader Joe's newest feature items. Citrus dessert popcorn? Get out of here. Chocolate covered rice cakes? What is this? 1992?  But maybe Joe's onto something with his most recent elote seasoned special... Not on the bizarre menu but certainly on our minds: the zombie apocalypse, Sha'Carri Richardson and childhood cereals.  In the Cart: Key Lime Kettle...

We know Ben and J-Lo have been making headlines lately, but we’ve got the true couple of the summer in these new items, Hoes. These crackers and cheese might be an unlikely pair, but they won’t be the most surprising reveal of the episode. Promise. Because we’re channeling Dora The Explorer, heading to Crack City to boost some babes, naming our future pets, and introducing time travel chic fashion...

The Hoes plant themselves firmly in herbivore territory with Trader Joe’s new vegan options. Between the pea-based “pork” rinds, the beef-free bolognese and the chicken-free masala salad, it’s a meatless menu full of unexpected flavors. Not on the table but certainly on our minds: chicharrones, Popeye and our newest franchise, Tater Joe’s.  In the Cart: Vegan Pasta Bolognese Vegan Chickpea Masala...

Hoes, what’s your go-to ice cream order this summer? Ours? Oh, it’s just a triple scoop of new TJ’s treats, a drizzle of Welcome to Your Fantasy , some crumbles savory scone from The Dinersaur , the crushed dream of a Trader Joe’s convention and just a pinch of subtle farts to top it off. Get those spoons ready!  🛒 In the cart:  Cold Brew Coffee and Boba Coconut Non-Dairy Frozen Dessert  Vegan Co...

The Hoes are hitting up the newest items in Trader Joe's cheese section and boy has he made some choices. Toss in some new crackers and BYOW because we're about to get into some charfoolerie (charcuterie + foolery - come on, guys). Not on the menu but certainly on our minds: the beauty of the grading curve, Instagram-worthy boards and sleepy time cheese. In the Cart: - Creamy Toscano Soaked in Ros...

Unlike some of these items, we’re not sugar-coating anything this week, Hoes. We’re treating ourselves to some sweet new goodies from Trader Joe’s and let’s just say things get eirdway. Not on the menu but certainly on our minds: Popular tubers, the ending of the Chippendales tangent Evie took us on, podcast club meetings and how much TJ’s crew members are allowed to shit talk new items.  🛒 In th...

The Hoes are hitting up some of Trader Joe’s newest items and it’s only going to get crazier from here because Joe is vaxxed, waxed and ready bombard you with a whole slew of never-before-seen seasonal products. Not on the menu but certainly on their minds: Trader Joe’s bathrooms, the likability of turtles, and secret TJ crew listeners.  In the Cart: Crispy Crunchy Crisps Crispy Jalapeño Pieces Ta...

The Hoes get down and dairy with Trader Joe’s newest frozen deserts. Will they melt for Joe’s newest seasonal pint or give the cold shoulder to his latest Hold the Cone creation? Not on the menu but certainly on their minds: TJs pickup lines, the divisiveness of peaches and bottled bong water.  In the Cart: Southern Peach Crisp Ice Cream Non-Dairy Frozen Dessert Chocolate Fudge Oat Bars Mini Hold...

This week, we're getting schooled with a child-like charcuterie spread that kindergarteners could only dream of. Plus, Evie learns that all of her childhood may have been a lie, Katie learns that Evie may have been holding out on her with the best dip of them all, and they both learn that not all gummies are grade A.  Big shoutout to our Hoes who wrote in with questions that we answer throughout t...

Welcome to the Trader Hoes remix. Did we change up the way we do this episode? Not at all. Did we give you a preview of our rapping skills? Unfortunately, yes. Get ready for the song of the summer and your new snacks of the summer with these peanut butter and chocolate duets. We’re also blowing minds with some Girl Scout Cookie delivery knowledge, Regina George comparisons and possibly our newest...