TOP SELF | Tips on Jealousy and Insecurity in Relationships

Sometimes to get out of a rut, you have to shake things up a bit and changing your perspective on the way you think and communicate about your jealousy might be just what you need. In this episode, Shanenn discusses 3 different areas you could shake things up as it pertains to jealousy. Reframe your approach in both your communication to your partner and your thoughts about how big it is and ackno...

Dr. Joli Hamilton, a relationship coach and research psychologist, known for her expertise in the field of jealousy joins the show today. Her research explores the archetypal nature of emotions and their purpose, with a focus on jealousy in both monogamous and non-monogamous relationships. If you still feel embarrassed about your jealousy or continuously ask yourself "Is this normal or is thi...

Today's episode is all about change and I have an exciting announcement of changes coming to the podcast for you. In this episode, I talk about  the topic of change and its role in personal growth and transformation.  Since your brain is wired for comfort,  change can be both fearful and uncomfortable, as it often requires letting go of familiarity.  We have a strong desire for certainty whic...

Guest Reneau Peurifoy shares a fascinating look at emotions, exploring their nature and impact on our lives which he has been researching for over the past 50 years which lead to his most recent book "Why You Feel They Way You Do" which I know we ALL want the answer to. In this episode he:   explores what emotions are and the exciting new findings emerging from affective neurobiology tha...

You are so consumed with trying to figure out if your partner is telling you the truth, you are ignoring the lies you're saying about your partner and to yourself. Self-awareness is the key to growth so if you want transformation, if you want to make changes to your life, you have to become more aware of your habits. Unfortunately, your habits possibly 5 lies I see jealousy junkie tell themse...

Are you embarrassed and ashamed of where you came from?  Where you grew up?  How you grew up?   I certainly was and for most of my life I lead with that shame.  it made me think everyone was better than me.  I made me feel that I couldn't ever be more than I was. You may feel that way too and some of it may feel like its coming true.  Maybe you're having a hard time getting a better payi...

Have you joined the Dump the Junk Program yet?  What are you waiting for?  The doors are closing VERY soon. Today's episode is so exciting for me because not only did I get to interview two women who are listeners of this podcast, but they were beta testers for me for the Dump the Junk Program.  Most importantly though, after spending 6 weeks with them going through the program, they have a v...

When it comes to jealousy and our insecurities, oftentimes, the first thought your brain serves up to you in wrong.  It's a default thought.  One your brain has been serving up to you for years. So long, in fact, you consider it to be law, to be 100% factual when in reality, it may not be.  Our initial thoughts tend to be smaller, weaker thoughts that could use a little help from time to time...

He's been on the Larry King Now show, Dr. Drew, Fox and Friends and now the Top Self podcast! This episode's guest is transformational speaker and best selling author, Kute Blackson and he's here to help you understand and move closer to the magic of surrender. As jealousy junkies, we have a strong feeling to control.  Control our environment, and our partner's environment in a...

Is the attractive person sitting next to your partner at the dinner table a tiger?  No, of course not.  But yet, you respond with fight or flight mode as if it's life or death. You hate being uncomfortable and probably have never learned or practiced how to sit with uncomfortable. When you feel jealous, you want that feeling to go away as quickly as possible, and by any means possible, often...

Our obsessions seem so magnified, so big and out of control and we let that become "who" and "what" we think we are. Because we're so focused on our jealousy, we begin to believe it's the only thing we bring to a relationship; insecurity and jealousy. Have you ever considered accepting that jealousy and knowing that it's just a part of you.  It's not all of...

Have you ever been more curious than you should be about your partner’s past lovers? Where one question about their past turned into five, which turned into ten, then felt that very uncomfortable pang of jealousy? This type of jealousy is called retroactive jealousy. One of the more insidious types of jealousy because it is referring to the past, which no one can undo. Retroactive jealousy can not...

Did you know you're being rude when you shrug off a compliment?  After blowing off a compliment my husband gave me, he asked "Why can't you just absorb a compliment"?   That made me wonder... why can't I?  What's behind that?   What I learned was much more than I expected and realized we're actually being rude when we don't respond appropriately to a complim...

Recently, my husband and I traveled to Costa Rica for a conference.  We stayed in a beautiful hotel overlooking the beach and had a ton of fun experiences BUT day 4 would send me into a tailspin I haven't been in for a very, very long time. In today's episode, I'm sharing lessons learned and why my mini meltdown is important to you. Schedule your FREE Discovery Cal l to see how I ca...

You learn so much in childhood.  How to walk, how to talk, how to do multiplication and division. Unfortuantely, for some though, you also learn to be fearful, to not trust.  We learn not to get too happy because any minute, the other shoe will fall. Today's guest, Reneau Peurifoy, author of 4 different books on anxiety, anger, and emotions, shares his knowledge from over 20 years as an MFT w...

Trauma leaves a chemical mark on a persons genes that is passed down to the next generation according to today's guest Dr. Galit Atlas.  It's about family secrets and the secrets we keep from ourselves that also keep us from living to our full potential.  Dr. Atlas is a psychoanalyst exploring the unconscious of her patients and shares how the emotional inheritance and the legacy of trau...

In today's quick dump episode, I share 5 statements I decided to stop making to my partner that changed the dynamic of our relationship. Most of the time, you don't even realize how the words you choose can come across.  Even when you feel like you're being really clear or you mean what you're saying in the moment, these 5 statements are usually a signal to disaster. Schedule y...

Did you know that toxic stress decreases the size and impairs the function of different regions of the brain that are actually responsible for our learning, our executive functioning, our memory ? Candace Alley, a five time internationally certified coach and the founder and CEO of Trauma Resource Network shares that:  trauma is not a particular event, but rather how the brain processes that event...

One of the reasons it took me so long to overcome my jealousy is because I kept getting stuck or there would be long periods of time I wasn't working to improve it. I started to notice a pattern of these times and today I am sharing 3 things that could be slowing down your progress of becoming more confident and overcoming jealousy in your relationship. Here are the 3 a makeup a breakup a hic...

Did you know when your brain is operating under duress, all of the "parts" are not coordinating which can ramp up your jealous mind. Our brains have a negative bias because it wants to save us.  It wants to keep us safe from danger.  But overload causes the brain to get out of symphony. Leader in the field of stress mastery, Dr. Cindi Ackrill shares what stress and comparison does to you...

It all feels like its falling apart when you screw up and show your jealous side... AGAIN.  But, there is an important mindset to have when you are trying to tame your jealousy and in today's episode, I'm sharing the importance of practicing , not mastering. Schedule your FREE Discovery Cal l to see how I can help. Check us out on YouTube and make sure to subscribe Grab the 5 Must-Haves...

Life strategist, relationship specialist, creative solution finder, and heart-centered problem solver, Sarah Ramsey lets a surprisingly simple philosophy guide her: indecision is the enemy of success. Viewing clear decision-making as the ultimate form of self-care, Sarah brings life-changing clarity to formulating solutions for those pesky problems that often seem impenetrable on the surface. Her...

In this quick dump episode, I'm sharing O.N.E. thing I did to break my negative mindset and take off the green lense I saw life through. Our adult brain can be lazy and it wants to refer back to old patterns of information we learned in the past.  If those patterns are negative, they stand out even more and shapes the way we view life and approach situations we interpret as similar. To shift...

Aviation is one of those professions that has always been associated with infidelity and cheating, but Jackie Ulmer believes that every situation is as unique as the people involved. Jackie is a peak performance coach who has been married to a pilot for more than 30 years. She worked in aviation for eight years before becoming a pilot’s wife, meeting lots of regional airline crews and spending tim...

James Preece is UK's top dating coach and often compared to Will Smith in the movie Hitch .  In today's episode he shares some differences and similarities of men and women when it comes to dating and relationships. Here are just a few tips and words of wisdom James shares in this episode: Women often unknowingly situate themselves in unapproachable situations.  At the gym with their hea...