Too Drunk To Taste This Chicken

Welcome to Episode 33, where we review Non-Stop, brought to you by the Mitch McConnell freeze face. Is Skinny Jeans practicing to be the newest character in the Fast and Furious franchise? Is Mercury in the microwave? Why do Agent Marks by lyin' so much? Join us next week when we review The Pope's Exorcist, available on Netflix! Is there a movie you think we should review? DM us on Instagr...

Welcome to Episode 32, where we are reviewing the hottest take we’ve had yet called The Menu.  Do you think candy bacon on a s’more could be delicious? What type of kitchen appliance would make the best safe word? How many cackles did we hear from Jess this week? Join us next week to hear all about Non-Stop, available on Netflix! Is there a movie you think we should review? DM us on Instagram @TDT...

Welcome to Episode 30, where TDTTTC reviews "Missing" on Netflix as your favorite chaotic hosts speculating on the dark origins of this movie. The hosts ask important questions like were these characters developed by 65 year old white men trying to get the respect they deserve from the younger generation? Was the independent contractor Javi actually an inside man? And most importantly, J...

Welcome to Episode 30, where we review Rampage and remix "I'm just Ken" with Howard Shore's ICONIC "Concerning Hobbits." This week is brought to you by Bridget's technical difficulties. Has Brett's new catchphrase become "my innards are out"? Was the alligator on Swamp Monsters and nobody knew? Would George be the worst gym spotter? Join us next week t...

Welcome to Episode 29, where we are reviewing the HIGHLY REALISTIC movie called Cocaine Bear.  What if the Cocaine Bear was just trying to pitch tourists new business ideas? How many terrible accents did we get from Brett this week? Was dim sum the original girl dinner? Join us next week to hear our review of Rampage (featuring Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson, available on Max! Is there a movi...

Welcome to episode 28, where we review Eternals and have a passionate debate about gaslighting. We are putting on our journalism hats to ask hard-hitting questions like was Ikaris grooming a 7,000 year old? Does Arishem need to run a Six Sigma program to improve his manufacturing process? And does the English language predate Mesopotamia? Join us next week when we review Cocaine Bear, available on...

Welcome to Episode 27, where we review Aladdin and thank whatever Sky Daddy you believe in that we're not Scooter Braun. Is Aladdin the original Crash Bandicoot? Did Jasmine's underwire put in the best performance of this movie? Are quokkas the Jasons and Kyles of the animal kingdom? Join us next week when we review Eternals available on Disney+! Is there a movie you would like to subject...

Welcome to Episode 26 where we review Avatar: The Way of the Water and determine the first documented case of a guy that fucked around and subsequently found out. Does this movie teach us the meaning of "I'm not mad, I'm just disappointed"? How many war crimes were committed during Pandora Invasion 2.0? Would you rather have Legolas or Neytiri on your side? Join us next week as w...

Give a Listen to Episode 25, where we review Suicide Squad featuring Will Smith, Jared Leto, and Margot Robbie. We attempt to answered thought-provoking questions posed by this movie like, who is Cara Delevingne's dance coach? Or is killing criminals technically a crime? Or even what sex would be like with a witch? Join us next week as we review Avatar: Way of the Water, available on Max! Is t...

Welcome to Episode 24, where we review the 2022 movie The Invitation and also commiserate on the trials and tribulations of adulthood. Why doesn't Brett know how to pronounce names? Who's cleaning the mansion if the vamps keep eating the help? Can we get a Vamp Sister Wives tv show off the ground? Join us next week as we review Suicide Squad, available on (HBO) Max! Is there a movie you th...

Welcome to Episode 23, where we are reviewing a dazzling film that features the entire Avery family called Super Sucker.  Were you able to spot the Avery fam? Did you also pause the movie and laugh at Jess’s heinous haircut? Would you be open to testing out the Homemaker’s Little Helper? Join us next week as we review The Invitation (2022) on Netflix! Is there a movie you think we should review? D...

Welcome to Episode 22, where we review Samaritan and how to spot potentially dangerous interactions between your young child and an older man who has suddenly taken an interest in them. Also covered, is Brett an indoor cat? Was Tekashi 6ix9ine originally cast in a role for this movie? Did Sylvester Stallone come up with character names like Taylor Swift writes hit songs? Most importantly, was a ch...

Welcome to Episode 21, where we review The Mother and review the proper etiquette to be exercised in public saunas. Who told JLo and the writers that it's okay to dump copious amounts of superglue in a bullet wound? Did therapy just not exist in this movie? And, most importantly, does the grind ever sleep??? Do you have fan art or is there a movie you think we should review? DM us on Instagram...

Welcome to Episode 20, where we are reviewing the incredibly poor fight scenes and lack of a plot line in Jiu Jitsu. What’s this alien’s beef with Jiu Jitsu fighters? Why does literally nobody prepare for the absolute slaughtering that they know is about to happen? Do they not know that if you just whip your dick out you automatically win the fight?  *CORRECTION* We planned to watch San Andreas fo...

Welcome to Episode 19, where we are reviewing the poor writing and police work in a little movie called The Little Things.  Why is every detective so terrible at their job? And why did Deke feel it’s necessary to grab Sparma’s Shlong? But the real question is... was there any bigger jump scare than whenever Jared Leto was on the screen?  Join us next week to hear all about Nicholas Cage in Jiu Jit...

Welcome to Episode 18, where we are reviewing the HIGHLY SUSPICIOUS movie called Cosmopolis.  What was the point of the daily prostate exams? Why does everyone talk in poems and riddles? And what would Xzibit and the rest of the crew at West Coast Customs do to pimp out this ride?  Join us next week to hear all about The Little Things, available on Hulu! Is there a movie you think we should review...

Welcome to Episode 17, where we are reviewing a snooze-fest of a movie called Amsterdam and there are a few awards to give out this week!  Taylor Swift - Anti Stanley Tucci Award Robert De Niro - The Bag Chaser Award & The Mid Sized Sedan Award Jess - The YUUUUUCCCKKKK Achievement How much cocaine was actually in the pills that Bert was taking? Why was everyone so obsessed with birdwatching an...

Welcome to Episode 16, where we review Battleship and take a deep dive (get it?) into the world of illegal underground (underwater?) boxing matches. Is it unfortunate that battleships can back up? Why do aliens have hands for her pleasure? Just what is RIMPAC? Join us next week when we review Amsterdam, available on Max. Is there a movie you think we should review? DM us on Instagram @TDTTTCPod or...

Welcome to Episode 15, where we review Old, and try to figure out which of us is the favorite (but don't tell us because then two of us would be sad :( ) Was this movie just a M Night Shyamalan scheme to stay at a tropical resort? Did the same fairy from Pinocchio use her talents on Maddox and Trent's brains? What was the payout like from the medical corporation to Maddox and Trent? Join u...

Welcome to Episode 14, where we review Black Adam and give the ever-present Kool-Aid Man aesthetic the BOMBASTIC SIDE EYE. Was the Justice Society just a bunch of Jehovah's Witnesses or scammers attempting to contact Black Adam about his car's extended warranty? Would this movie be elevated to 5 stars if they chose to mic up the super heroes and got The Rock a better fitting costume? On a...

Welcome to Episode 13, where we review Blacklight and unpack school-induced PTSD. What does Brett have against Lava Cakes? Did Fred Durst make a reappearance to write the OCD portion of this script? Is this movie a parody of boomer mentality or not? Is there a movie you think we should review? DM us on Instagram @TDTTTCPod or send us an email at TDTTTCPodcast@gmail.com Big shoutout to PiZZA STEVE...

Welcome to Episode 12, where we review The Fanatic and reevaluate the life choices that brought us to this point. How many times did Fred Durst tell this to his friends before he decided to make it into a movie? Who was the protagonist supposed to be? What percentage of reviews are just Fred Durst with fake email addresses? Is there a movie you think we should review? DM us on Instagram @TDTTTCPod...

Welcome to Episode 11, where we review Don't Worry Darling and consider the possibility of becoming a "stay-at-home", hold the "mom". Did nobody in Victory sense the culty vibes? What happens if you default on your simulation subscription? Are we just supposed to believe that a woman would push all of her hard work onto the floor after slaving away in a kitchen all day? Is...

Welcome to Episode 10, where we review the 2022 live action Pinocchio, and try to live out our best depression med commercial life. What was the rent to live inside the whale? Does someone at Disney have a goldfish fetish? Why was Pinocchio booty poppin' in a headstand after only a day of living? Is there a movie you think we should review? DM us on Instagram @TDTTTCPod or send us an email at...

Welcome to Episode 9, where we review X-Men: Dark Phoenix, a movie that had us reevaluating the damage that would be inflicted with a good ol’ titty twister. How much damage would a human hand grenade do? Was Disney just going to skate on past the gay vibes that were happening at the very end? Is this movie just the explanation of the origin of Moonfall's space ghost? Is there a movie you thin...