Too Drunk To Taste This Chicken

Welcome to Episode 83, where your hosts finish a great run of video games to movie adaptations with the movie "Warcraft", available on Netflix. Your hosts follow their same pattern of disarray as they devolve into a heated debate on whether they want a machete or hatchet in a fight. What off-brand mystical creatures roam the lands of "Warcraft." And the logistics of eating choc...

Welcome to Episode 82 where we touch tendons, flick ligaments, and continue our review of video games turned movies with Need for Speed. Does Jess even know the players on her fantasy team? Is this kamikaze mission really where our taxpayer money is going? What was the bathroom situation on this cross-country road trip? Next week, we will be finishing our video games turned movies theme with Warcr...

Welcome to Episode 81, where we are watching the next installment of our “Video Games That Became Movies” themed movie called Five Nights At Freddy’s. Are you excited to hear Brett explain more legal concepts for the 81st episode in a row? Does anyone else draft their Fantasy Football team based on vibes? How many pounds of drugs do you think you can hold in your butthole? Next week, we will be wa...

Welcome to the opening volley of the video game movie adaptation genre. In this review of "Prince of Persia," the gang talks about white people running around the Middle East. In addition to this, the gang talks about Jake Gyllenhall's ascent and prompt descent in his heyday. The political-familial underpinnings of adopting boys from the street. And a helpful editors guide to a use o...

Welcome to our final installment of the Summer Camp theme, where we discuss the woes of being subjected to Boomer shitposting on social media and review Camp Rock 2. Was Brett being sneakily recruited for a "mining equipment operation" in Venezuela? Is getting heartburn from White Claws the mark of getting old? Is a quesadilla a sandwich? Join us next week when we open our new theme of V...

Welcome to Episode 78, where we crave non-social enrichment time in our enclosure and continue our theme of Summer Camp movies with Camp Hideout. How does Bridget manage to pick such egregiously terrible movies? Would you rather meet Cosmopolis or a bear in the woods? What is the point of a significant other if not to warm our ice cold feet? Join us next week when we close out our Summer Camp them...

Welcome to Episode 77, where we are watching the next installment of our “Summer Camp” themed movie - The Parent Trap. Have you ever wondered about the history of marathons or wondered why marathon runners shit their pants? Or have you ever wondered about how the weather works and the microclimates of San Francisco? Or maybeeee why wine and weed pairings hasn’t become one of Snoop Dogg’s side ques...

Welcome to episode 76, where TDTTTC starts off the "Summer Camp" theme with a bang akin to one felt when getting hit over the head with a rock. Due to technical difficulties, Bridget was unable to join Brett and Jess to review the first movie of the series, "Camp Rock". This episode finally answers the question everyone has been asking, "who does TDTTTC stand with in the J...

Welcome to episode 75, where the theme of "Too Much Americana" comes to a close with a review of "Independence Day." Chaos is afoot as the hosts dream upon another multiple billion dollar business idea on a whim. The false equivalency of smart equaling good is challenged. And the hosts reminisce about peak Jeff Goldblum. The hosts kick off the new theme of "Summer Camp&quo...

Welcome to either the best or worst movie, not only in the theme of "Too Much Americana," but that you have ever seen. Welcome to episode 74, a review of an instant Steven Seagal classic, Sniper: Special Ops. Find this absolute gem on Amazon Prime, if you dare venture into this hostile territory. We ask the real questions that other journalists, like the hired porn star on this movie, wo...

Welcome to Episode 73, where we continue our "too much Americana" theme, break out our hoochiest heels for the local Applebee's, and review Hunter Killer. Why are the names of fireworks so extra? What's the likelihood we'd be able to pick up a point off Serena Williams? Is it normal to crave the approval from the maitre'd? Join us next week when we review Sniper Special O...

Welcome to Episode 72, where we are watching the next installment of our “Too Much Americana” themed movie called White House Down. Are you buckled in for a very chaotic episode? Have you ever wondered if all of your hosts are in to golf? Why is this movie so long but still so boring?  Next week, we will be watching Hunter Killer which is available on Netflix! Is there a movie or series you think...

Welcome to Episode 71, where we talk A LOT about state dicks and some about a movie called "Interceptor" which is available on Netflix. Was Chris Hemsworth trying to not steal the limelight or just saw the writing on the wall with this movie? How quickly or slowly is time running at any given time? Did Rahul even TRY to not get murdered? Most importantly, what is the correct way to measu...

Welcome to Episode 70, where we are finishing up books to terrible moves. This week we are reviewing the accidental comedy psy-fi film, Battlefield Earth. There is a robust conversation about Barry Goddamn Pepper. A brief foray into the world of tasting Kerbango. And lastly is knowledge really power when everyone else is an idiot? In honor of the 4th of July and America's illustrious history,...

Welcome to Episode 69 (nice) where we are taking hits mentally, physically, and professionally, and continue our theme of Great Books to Terrible Movies with our review of The Giver. Are coworkers just bad group project members with more education and responsibility? Is the basis of society some guy's horniness? Is Gabe the Antichrist? Next week, we will be finishing our theme of Great Books T...

Did Jess mess up the audio? And then need to delete it so she could re-upload to cover her tracks? The answer to both of those questions is yes :) Welcome to Episode 68, where we are watching the second installment of our “Books that became terrible movies” series. This week we are reviewing the not scary thriller, The Woman In The Window. What are your rankings of best to worst grocery stores? Do...

Welcome to the horror show of Episode 67, where we close our Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson chapter and pickup our next theme of "Great Books, Terrible Movies." This week the hosts subject themselves to one of Brett's beloved Young Adult genre books that made it to the silver screen with this showing of "Eragon", which is available on Max. Our hosts wrestle with the de...

Welcome to Episode 66, where we are ending our Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson themed month with one of his OG films, Be Cool (available on MAX). Why aren’t there any normal people in this movie? Did Cedric the Entertainer eat and leave no crumbs during is epic monologue? Was this movie where Fred Durst and John Travolta met for the first time to concept the development of The Fanatic? Next week, we wil...

Welcome to Episode 65, where we review Bridget's White Whale San Andreas, and trace our anxiety origins back to Mapquest. Why are there so many vehicles in this movie? Is the power of FAMILY that strong? How many other people were traumatized from Final Destination's logging truck? Join us next week when we review the STARSTUDDED Be Cool, available on Max. Is there a movie or series you th...

Welcome to Episode 64, where we are watching the least exciting heist movie ever made, Empire State (available on Max). This is the 2nd of 4 installments of “The Rock” movie reviews. Is everyone shocked that Brett is at an UNCALIBRATED 1?! How trusting of a news source is The Greek Reporter? Is mummy the original whey isolate protein?  Next week, we will be reviewing Bridget’s white whale which is...

Welcome to Episode 63, where we review The Rock doing what he does best. While it may be best to not think too hard about this movie, the hosts dare to use a minimal amount of brain power to question the police tactics that those foreign police are using. They also question the parental skills of our two protagonists. Or they even ask what the point of the very secret room is. Join us next week wh...

Welcome to Beef on the Reef 2.0, where we re-review Battleship and ponder the nuances of the cat distribution system. Are dentists just instruments of the capitalist agenda? Did they really expect us to believe the US wouldn't have jumped at the opportunity to blow something up? Has TSwift written a song about the dome? Join us next week when we kick off our next theme: Dwayne "The Rock&q...

Welcome to Episode 61, where we are watching the unmatched and highly sexual Super Sucker (available on Amazon Prime).  Did you know that Brett had a career in sales where a sales prize was a pallet of soy sauce? What do you think the next Nip Napper would be? Do you think Jeff Daniels still thinks about how annoying Jess was during filming? Next week, will be our final re-review movie! We will be...

Welcome to Episode 60, where we revisit the INEFFABLE Cats: The Musical, and figure out what actually happens when Mercury is in the microwave. Did we all just learn that Bridget is the live moderator of the podcast? Is Jason Derulo into furries? What CAN'T Idris Elba do? Next week, we will be re-reviewing Super Sucker available for your viewing pleasure on Prime Video. Is there a movie or ser...

Welcome to Episode 59, where we are watching the incomparable The Silence for a second time. Did you know that we have Jess White in the house? Who else knew about the mountain of cheese that we are storing in Missouri? Why do Brett always be yapping?  Next week, we will be re-reviewing CATS available for your viewing pleasure on Netflix. Is there a movie or series you think we should review? DM u...