This Isn’t Therapy

This Isn't Therapy...this is a conversation about people pleasing. Through two #lovelylistener stories, Jake and Simon explore the root of people pleasing - where the behaviour stems from and how it comes to be. How do I stop people pleasing??? Get ready to laugh/cry/uncover the phenomenon known as the chameleon child. "Trying to make life fair for people around you doesn’t make up for the unfairn...

This Isn't Therapy...this is a casual Kelly conversation about the future and ALL our collective worries. Climate change? Finances? Relationships? Oh boy. So much to hold! So much to worry about! In this episode of the pod, Jake and Simon explore the role "worrying" has in our lives through two fantastical case studies (featuring TIT celebs Tina the Troll and Grant the Gnome). Creators & Guest...

This Isn't Therapy... it's the episode about finding hope in hopeless times. Forest fires, anti-LGBTQ bills, collective pain, and existential dread. In this episode, Jake dives deep into the purpose of therapists in hopeless times -- as the "bringers of hope". Jake and Simon talk through some stories submitted by the Lovely Listeners about how they keep hope alive and find the inner strength to ke...

This Isn't Therapy... it's the episode about finding your people, finding your place, and building community. In this episode, Jake and Simon read two submissions by the Lovely Listeners about the features of their ideal community. What follows is a discussion about building community, figuring out who should be there, and what features matter most. Let's get ta buildin'!  Creators & Guests Si...

This Isn't Therapy... it’s the episode about coming out! In this episode, Jake and Simon come clean about coming out as they chat about some scenes and quotations from an article about the coming out experience. We are pulling back the colourful rainbow pride curtain for an essential discussion about coming out— what it’s like, why we may or may not do it, and how you can support someone who has d...

This Isn't Therapy...this is a fun, flirty convo about adapting to scenarios while keeping your values in check (*DING*). On this episode of the pod, Jake and Simon discuss two lovely listener stories, safe spaces, the embarrassing Ontario Catholic school board's decision to ~not~ fly a pride flag, and our new queer icon, Tina the Troll. Also, stay tuned to the end of the ep because we may or may...

This isn't therapy... it's an episode about authenticity, being yourself, and knowing who you are. In this episode, Jake guides Simon through an ~authenticity exercise~! OoOoooO! They discuss whether or not authenticity should be everyone's goal and how the path to becoming yourself looks different for everyone (and how to find your own way!)... CAUTION: THIS EPISODE IS EXTREMELY FUNNY AND AUTHENT...

This isn't therapy... it's some straight up real talk about depictions of therapy in popular media. Simon, a filmmaker, and Jake, a therapist, talk about the emerging media genre of fly-on-the-wall therapy. From explosive couples’ dramas on TV to podcasts with recorded therapy sessions, fly-on-the-wall therapy is pulling in huge audiences. But is it ethical? Is it exploitation? Is it just unhealth...

This isn't therapy... it's an episode about complex experience of grief and loss. Jake and Simon read two stories from the Lovely Listener. They add some nuance to the stages of grief model (DABDA!) and chat through different metaphors for grief - boulders, balls, and jars, oh my! Also, grab your spelunking gear because we're going down that rabbit hole: what evolutionary function does grief serve...

This Isn't Therapy... it's the grand opening of the Ha-Ha Chuckle Hut! Just kidding. It's the conversation about deflecting and coping with humor. In this week's episode, Jake and Simon talk about the ups and downs of using humor to cope with the things we don't want to feel. Creators & Guests Jake Ernst - Host Simon Paluck - Host Hello, hi! Follow us on Instagram: @notatherapypodcast⁣ Jake Er...

This Isn't Therapy...this is a conversation about slowing down, baby. How do you know when things are good? How do you embrace feeling content with where you're at? Remember hobbies? What are those!?! TELL US!! In this episode of the pod, Jake and Simon chit chat through two lovely listener stories about finding stillness. What happens when things are...fine and there's no fixing, meddling, or dee...

This Isn't Therapy... it's the follow-up to last week's convo about thinking vs. doing. This week, we're talking about doing vs. being-- another paradox we are made to sit with as humans who feel things. In this episode, Jake and SImon unpack submissions from the lovely listeners about how to know when things are good and content. They share three stories from y'all about how to embrace feeling co...

This Isn't Therapy... it’s an episode about thinking, over-thinking, and sorting through seas of misinformation online. In segment one, Jake and Simon discuss findings from a small study by PlushCare which looked at videos on TikTok and misleading mental health information. In segment two, they discuss how collecting and consuming mental health information online isn’t the same as applying it. Jak...

This Isn't Therapy...this is a conversation about the mental health of boys. Declining graduation rates, decreasing sperm counts and testosterone levels, and fewer close friendships. Yikes! In this episode of the pod, we're chatting through the irrefutable evidence that men and boys are struggling in unprecedented ways. Sources: "Taking the mental health of boys seriously" by Jake Ernst (...I don'...

This isn't therapy... it's the episode about therapy breakthroughs. The therapeutic "aha!" is known to many as the nugget of therapy gold that taught us something new, changed our perspective on something, or unlocked a new layer of growth. In this episode, Jake and Simon share therapy breakthroughs from the Lovely Listeners. Tune in for a discussion about the things therapy taught us (or technica...

This Isn't Therapy...but this is an episode about the overuse of therapy language and the impact its having on our relationships. Gaslighting? Triggered? Trauma-bonding? What do these words actually mean!? And are we using them correctly? Listen to find out. Also, Jake and Simon welcome special guests: Dr. Miriam-Webster, Tammy Toxic, and Gary Gaslight. This is an episode you absolutely don't want...

This isn't therapy... it's the episode about self-diagnosis. In this episode, Jake and Simon pull back the curtain on diagnosis and ask if we can truly give ourselves a mental health diagnosis. Jake and Simon read two very different perspectives, submitted by two licensed therapists, and discuss the pros and cons of self-diagnosis. In the final segment, Jake shares how he approaches self-diagnosis...

This Isn't Therapy... it's the long-overdue conversation about the crisis of connection and loneliness. In this episode, Jake and Simon talk about a recent study which captured the changes in the brain due to isolation and loneliness. They also discuss the finding that exposure to social experiences alone do not resolve the crisis of connection -- that is, exposing lonely individuals to more socia...

This Isn't Therapy...this is a prediction episode about the future of therapy. In this episode, Jake and Simon talk about how Artificial Intelligence (AI), Virtual Reality (VR), and Web 3.0 (what!?!) and how they may (or may already be!) impacting therapy for therapists and clients alike. Jake and Simon also discuss what Americans are saying about the use of AI chatbots in therapy and react to a r...

This Isn't Therapy...this is a (part 2) fun, flirty, fabulous convo about our needs! If you haven't listened to part one yet, what are you doing?! Go listen and then come back, Wendy!! In this episode, Jake and Simon expand on our types of needs and introduce us to our core relational needs of safety, belonging and mattering (the tandem needs!) and then discuss the difference between Mimetic Desir...

This Isn't Therapy...this is a (part 1) conversation about our needs - what are they? Why is everyone talking about them? And how do you know if your needs are being met? What follows is a funny and fabulous convo about Primal, Survival, and Growth needs (oh my!) This episode is essential for anyone out there wondering: what are my needs?! Creators & Guests Jake Ernst - Host Simon Paluck - Hos...

This isn't therapy, baby, it's a conversation about dating and modern relationship expectations. In this episode, Jake and Simon talk about hook up culture and the current dating landscape for singles, one where dating apps (and one company in particular!) set the tone for our future with one another. They talk about "situationships" and how to spot the characteristics of a situationship-- a casua...

This Isn't Therapy... it’s a delicious conversation about healthy ways of measuring progress in life. Jake and Simon chat about the common fear of falling behind in life and hear from two lovely listeners about their experiences with comparing, despairing, awfulizing, and catastrophizing. They also talk about how it relates to hustle culture and sets the conditions for self-diagnosis. There is lot...

This Isn't Therapy... it’s the long-awaited episode about r̶u̶g̶g̶e̶d̶-i̶n̶d̶i̶v̶i̶d̶u̶a̶l̶i̶s̶m̶ SHREK. Okay, okay, okay, we admit, this is just an excuse to talk about the seminal film, and character of the same name, SHREK. Yes, Shrek. The rugged individualist of our time. In this episode, Jake and Simon talk about the concept of rugged individualism, the myth and unhelpful belief that we shoul...

This Isn't Therapy...but this is a fun, flirty, and fab conversation about pity (and her twin sister grandiosity).Through two lovely listener stories, Jake and Simon explore the very human behaviour of downward comparison ("I feel sorry for you" vs. "I'm sooOOoo glad I'm not you"). Ever compare yourself to someone's vacation pics and think "I would NEVER do that" ? Or run into an old friend you lo...