The Worst Movie Ever Made

Chris and Rob, AND BOB (Think_In_Movie_Scenes) calculate the worst movie ever made up to this point in 4 seasons. 32 movies put to the test, and the results will surprise you! Or not. They probably won’t. If you’ve been listening so far you pretty much know where this disaster ranking is going. Episode is hella funny though. In the wise words of Wilfred Brimley, bad movie make jackrabbit slap de b...

Chris and Rob dust off their mud-flaps, and haul a payload of garbage across The Ice Road. This wet turd in a blanket withstands all our tests, but will it be ranked amongst the worst of the bad? You’re gonna have to tune in and find out. Tip Toeing through the R-word! Decades old ad placements! Moping miners! Poopy diamonds! Triage massage! Shifty claims adjusters! Fun facts we just made up! Crai...

Chris and Rob recruit instagram’s Dusty_Penguin_112 for assistance in breaking down Elektra. And it’s good they have a guest, because Rob pretty much checked out on this one. Delayed resuscitations! Covert Cabbage! Botched box cutter burgling! Dead mom pissing contests! The uncomfortable gurgling of anthropomorphic tattoos, and much, much more on this week’s episode of The Worst Movie Ever Made!

Chris and Rob run to the hills in order to properly survey the damage caused by Volcano. Tommy Lee Jones (TLJ) delegates his way through disaster one flip phone at a time as he races the clock to save his daughter from the lava bomb to end all lava bombs. Manhole blowouts! Steamy heat holes! Rodney King Volcano Tacos! Tectonic Technicalities! Magma Explanations! Basketball confusion! Chris having...

Chris and Rob welcome back Bob Hasak from @think_in_movie_scenes to talk about Hard to Kill, to break down exactly what makes this movie so unwatchable. Is it the literal and figurative grooming of a man who's been in a coma in 7 years to be a fuck buddy? Or is it simply the fact that we have to watch Steven Seagal run in a training montage? In this movie there is one scene where a horse is shown...

Chris and Rob take a Double Deuce all over 1989’s Road House, and ask each other who is this movie for? On one hand, there’s titties and fighting. On the other hand, it’s kinda written like one of those beach bum books with Fabio on the cover. Enough chatter, let’s get into it. Ass taxidermy! Dagger Duels! Absent authorities! Penis logistics! Barn Burning Millionaires! Sharp footwear! Homicidal co...

Chris and Rob saddle up and smack that ass as they pump their butts up full of goof juice and talk about 1998's "Senseless!" A movie that teaches aspiring comedians that if a joke doesn't land, you should try it out another 30 fucking times to just be absolutely sure that it still doesn't land. There's so much to talk about, so let's get right into it! Vibin' like a plantation owner! Prince Albert...

Chris and Rob are at odds as they take a trip to the not-so-distant future. That's right, we're eating at Pizza Hut tonight! We're talking about Demolition Man, of course! A dystopian, Philip K. Dickian romp through time and morality! Swear word citations! Sea Shell Shit Swiping! Oculus fluid transfer simulations! Anxiety Knitting! Inexplicable Rubber Suits! Smithsonian Assault Rifles, and much, m...

Chris and Rob kick off season 4 with a sour taste in their mouths as they break down 2010's The Sorcerer's Apprentice. For a movie that has some astoundingly good special effects, we just wish they would have spent a few bucks on a proper table read. The kind of chemistry in this flick could be found in Sophomore year chemistry class. Instead of learning proper unit conversion, we're given some wi...

Chris and Rob take a well deserved break, and dive into an actual good movie to wrap up season 3! That's right, we're talking Raising Arizona! This was Rob's first time despite his obvious fandom of the master himself! And what's there not to love about this movie? Let's just dive right into and do the list thing: Baby theft! Unpainted furniture blowouts! Sloppy robbery instructions! Shotgun Huggi...

Chris and Rob dumpster dive into a parallel dimension filled with dinosaurs and shitty plot mechanisms as they unpack Super Mario Brothers. This movie was tough to watch because it's supposed to be a video game adaptation, but that part never really... happened. How could a game about an Italian plumber who eats coins and shoots fireballs at mushroom people on his way to rescue a princess from a l...

On today's episode of The Worst Movie Ever Made, we-- "Wait, weren't you called The Bomb Filter last week?" Yeah, nobody got it, so don't bring it up ever again. MOVING ON! This week we talk about Ron Howard's "How the Grinch Stole Christmas," and hopefully this will put a cap on holiday movies that you all seem to have such an insatiable thirst for. We're all marching in lockstep toward the sweet...

Chris and Rob welcome The Freelanceaholic Kevin Meng (@thefreelanceaholic) to rail on Christmas With the Kranks like it's never been railed on before. Rob did his research. Mel's doesn't actually make a can of ham that large, so let's start there. When it comes to reconstituted pork shoulder gelatin byproducts, we're pretty sure the government has a "one pound max" regulation that purveyors of con...

Chris and Rob talk Jingle All the Way with special guest Kyndra Crump (@thekyndracrumpshow)! And we were glad to have the company of this comedian and podcasting extraordinaire on this episode because there's lots to talk about! Like, is it okay for another dude to hang up your Christmas lights when you're not home? How do you react to this? Is violence the answer? Probably, but this is a kid's mo...

Chris and Rob welcome back Bob Hasak from @Think_In_Movie_Scenes for a hearty discussion about Dante's Peak! While this movie was enjoyable at first blush, several steamy turds float to the surface as the story unfolds. GamGam's acid bath! Nookie in the hot springs! Coal mine potato chip rations! Engine Snorkeling lava drama! Pulley assisted pushups! Vague beer orders! Fist chucking cashew maneuve...

Chris and Rob fire up the smoker as they roast up some Wild Hogs! The open road! Biting the butter! Poo bag propagation! Guy fall down, hahahahah! But he’s okay though, he falls down a lot it’s a running gag ahhahahahaa! Rival gangs! Chili cookoffs washed down with some wholesome piss gargling! The sinking feeling that an hour and forty minutes have been shaved off my mortal coil, and much, much,...

WAKEY WAKEY YOU FAT FUCKS!!! On this week of The Worst Movie Ever Made, Chris and Rob have trouble breaking down a couple of things in 1993’s “Hard Target.” Firstly, the dialogue makes them cringe, but seconds later they admit that some of it is pretty damn quotable. Secondly, the explosions that looked great were disproportionately out of context in regard to size and damage. Like, if you shoot a...

You guys! It’s season three! Chris and Rob try to stuff three dimensions of shit into two dimensions of review. Is that how it works? Or is a podcast only one dimension because there is no video? Who the hell knows, so let’s get to it, shall we? Coral Reefer Madness! NASA knobs in Atlantis! Late night boner runs! Wallet thieving tentacle contraptions! An unintentional sponsor! Shit coins! Guvna gr...

Chris and Rob shake off the ashes from Season 1's Waterworld, and plunge into the murky waters of Jaws! On season 2's "Great Movie" finale, a bigger boat is needed, but it won't be found on Netflix, because this episode is brought to you by Piracy(TM)! Quality zingers! Shark soliloquies! Bathtub moonshine! Menacing music! John Goodman tickle fights? Gaslighting barracudas! Chum buckets! Shooting s...

Words cannot describe how Chris and Rob talk about this movie. Eventful? No! Thoughtful? No! Direction and taste? Also no! It is hard to use metrics to analyze a film that is so fucking stupid and without a point. It was so hard to do this episode, that the internet went out. We had to reset, and start up again. Even still, our podcast was more cohesive and focused than this absolute piece of garb...

Chris and Rob engage in some reproduction at the bowling alley as they slide into the chain smoking, jazz handing, sex baiting cavalcade that is known as Grease 2! 30 year old high school students! Song and dance numbers about how much you hate school that you clearly spent the entire summer vacation learning with people you know from school so you can show up at school and dance for your teachers...

Chris and Rob set phasers to spooky as they talk about Thirteen Ghosts! Dirt Downloading junkyard hi-jinks! Blood Trucks! Dead Mom basement echolalia! Scooters and gears! Bloody Tub Girl titty meat! Nanny Semantics! A FUCKING GHOST TORSO! And much, much more! Brought to you by KornHub (TM). 

Chris and Rob show their Muskrat pride as they run through the vacuous halls of Ernest Goes to School! Clockwork Orange locker experiments! Algebra for dummies! Gordian Knot plumbing! Varsity team switcheroo gas bomb shenanigans! Fast forward tuba violations, and much, much more! It's not quite Back to School, and it's not quite Billy Madison, but it's... uh... well you should probably just listen...

Chris and Rob welcome their first guest to cough up some hairballs on Catwoman! Bob from think_in_movie_scenes throws some haymakers in our logical inconsistencies section with verve and enthusiasm as we bag up a bunch of cats like Huckleberry Finn to eliminate the wart that is known as Halle Berry's performance. Ferris wheels with a mind of their own! Cosmetic Conglomerates! Police that show up t...

Chris and Rob spend "One Night in Bangkok," and go through Nicolas Cage's hairpiece with a fine-tooth comb on this week's episode of The Bomb Filter. Communicating with the deaf! Kung-Fu Patty Cakes! Four rules to live by! Taiwanese Kennedy clones! The logistics of drowning! Motorbike window rendezvous! Water jug computer rooms! Will Joe defeat Terl in the Asscheek Arena (TM)? All this and much, m...