The Worst Case Scenario w/ Foul Mouth Jerk & Adam Strange

Dammit. I just typed a big ol' paragraph describing the show, and it was funny. I had it all done, and I click "insert ad" and this new interface on the podcast uploader which has always autosaved the things it asks you to fill out just decides not to save all the data I just entered and switches back to the previous page without warning. I'm not saying that the owners of said platform (something...

Won't somebody save us from the woke mind virus? These libs want us to be nice to each other! What?! They think pregnant ladies shouldn't smoke cigarettes at the playground! They been trying to tell my kids not to be racists! What?!?! This woke mind virus can only be stopped by one thing. Florida Man! Only a strong man with great hair and shiny white privilege can stand tall enough to tell the lib...

Boom! Cancel culture is coming for you! It will make you even more famous than before! You will be known by everyone! I am yelling! That's what the exclamation marks mean! I could use all caps! But I won't! OR MAYBE I WILL! Join us this week as we censor Roald Dahl and say goodbye to Harvey Wienstein forever. This is a podcast, there will be talking. It might be funny, or it might not, one can nev...

We was all ready to talk about that train crash in Ohio and all the UFO talk that sprouted out of the Chinese spy balloon. This was our plan, but we somehow got sidetracked by new Epstein emails. Then we start making these Jesus jokes that land so we keep making them. Not really Jesus jokes, more like apostle jokes. Honestly it's just comical observations about biblical shenanigans. Good times, go...

"Ya I stole those monkeys, and I'll do it again!" being a quote in the news is part of what makes this country so great. Honestly, If that TV show "Dallas" had been about a dude in a vacant house building a freelance menagerie from random animals he had stolen from around the Dallas Metro area it would have been a runaway hit. Like Tiger King meets Boyz in da Hood. I would binge the crap out of th...

We gonna get mad woke this week. No sleeping on this show, just full blown wokeness. We got bored of being gas stove experts and immediately became Chinese spy balloon experts just in time for this week's news. You don't sleep on spy balloons when you're as woke as we are. We talk about the economy, or rather how much we miss having personal economies. It was cool back when we could just buy stuff...

Everybody loves Dolly Parton. That is a fact. It doesn't matter who you are, Dolly Parton is better than you. She has roller coasters, that alone is enough reason. The fact that she gives poor kids books every month and donates millions to medical research is just icing on an already very stacked cake. This isn't meant to make you feel bad. In fact you should feel privileged for the simple fact th...

Oh Ya! This year is just off to a swinging start! So much news that sucks! Biden had some documents, Pence had some documents! Will the republicans ever get to see all of Hunter's dongle photos? What does a monger do? Did I forget what we talked about on this episode because we recorded it a few days ago and also because I'm very stoned? Who can be sure? I don't even know why podcasts have these l...

Hey guys! Welcome back to the show. We got some stuff to talk about this week. We start with artificial intelligence and move our way down to zero intelligence. Do chatbots sexually harass? I'm gonna say there is no way they don't. If these bots are gonna examine human behavior and writings and even scrape social media for information then we are gonna have some racist and sexist bots. People are...

"What does he mean he ain't seen Top Gun" is not a phrase you hear often, but we got a couple airline stories this week. They both somehow involve misuse of the male sexual organ by it's owner. Dudes just be gross all the time, even on planes. These are not the friendly skies, they are the gross abusive skies. For the price of a plane ticket nowadays, one would assume that there would be some form...

There are some words you just can't say anymore. As many of you already know, we are not the ones to consult on this particular topic. Unitard? Moron? Mongolian Spots? Leotard? We honestly don't know and now treat every English word as a landmine that our old minds just can't grasp. We start the new year laughing at the Republicans finally getting to have a civil war. The best part is that they ar...

Did you know back in the day they called him "Randy Andy"? The title and that sentence have very little to do with the episode, but hey, WHAM still has search engine draw. This interest increases around christmas because they had that one song. We talk about Trump and all his legal woes and how all his boys ain't gonna be lawyers no more because they keep losing their ability to practice. Tesla to...

Do you like fish sticks? Like, in your mouth? No? Of course you don't, they are the worst part of the fish, all lips and butt-holes. You might say that you like fish sticks, but we all know you're only lying to yourself. What you really like is deep fried breading. Because it is delicious. What does this have to do with any of the stuff we discuss? I don't know, i got sidetracked. We mostly argue...

Did you ever wonder where Cabbage Patch Kids came from? Did you ever imagine that Foul Mouth had one as a child? Did you know they might be linked to the Jolly Green Giant? What does this have to do with Hunter Biden's laptop? Was Monsanto involved? We figure there may be a bigger audience for wild idiotic conspiracy theories than the one we have doing current events. We figure that we may as well...

Guess who's coming to dinner? It's Kanye and he brought some antisemitic dirt bags with him! He's gonna have dinner with Trump at Mara Lago and Trump is gonna yell at him. The stupidity of the conservatives is gonna shine bright enough to burn this whole world down. They will clap and say Trump didn't know those famous racists were racists. They'll say he's helping them to be less racist (in publi...

What do I have to be thankful for? Nothing right now. I just wrote a beautiful paragraph describing this show, the season, my current mood. It was friggin' poetic. Then the page just refreshed and erased my words. Gone. Dammit. Ok. It's cool, I've calmed down, but I've totally forgot everything I wrote and now I really don't care to replicate it. Now it's just me complaining about something stupid...

What? You want some podcast? You need some hot talking to fill out your brain balls? You desire some of that sweet sweet ultra left commie mud slinging that makes your tummy bubble? Oh Ya! Oh we got that, we got that so much. We got words and we gonna give them to you in a very awkward way. Blah Blah Blah? Blah F'n Blah!!! Oh Ya! Here come some anecdotes and thoughts and you can't get out of the w...

Elections! Democracy vs Fascism! Arghhhhhhh!!!!! I know you fine listeners have already voted for the least worst choice. I still worry though. This country is falling apart and only your votes and our comedy can save it. We got jokes and such, as usual, but we also have some hard hitting commentary on how the next Aliens movie could save the franchise. You know, the important things that pod...

Do ya'll remember how much sugar we all ingested from our breakfast cereals? They actually had the balls to call one of them "Super Sugar Smacks" and our parents let us eat that. This happened in a world where you need to have a small fortune available to have dental work done and insurance will barely cover yearly cleanings. This has nothing to do with why Musk is gonna make twitter into a hate s...

Kanye! Oh Ye, Oh Ye, we are gathered here today to renounce a man that made a few goods songs and some ugly shoes. Genius? I mean, ya, he made a couple of good songs, but he's not a tenth of a Marvin Gaye or a Quincy Jones when it comes to advancing the artform. He made a couple ok songs, he can sample and rhyme well. Then he made ya'll buy some really ugly shoes and proceeded to act stupid in pub...

What's the easiest way to win chess tournaments while also getting a sensual anal massage? We don't know either, but I guess it's a thing now becuase some kid had to get his butt searched before he could play chess last week. That is the world you live in. Herschel Walker continues to publicly abort his political ambitions and this time he does it with a pretend police badge. Trump overcharged the...

What do Herchel Walker, Kanye West, Lindsey Graham and Rachel Dolizal all have in common? They all make comedy podcasts about current events just detour straight into race relations in America. Oh ya, that's just a really fun place for two middle aged white guys to try a dig out some jokes. Oh Ye! Ye is bringing the hate speech back into fashion and it's just so incredibly stupid that it just make...

This is a weird one to try to explain. I guess we spend an hour discussing how society can handle de-gendering insults that are based on sex organs. You know how lots of insults are based on the cuss version of words that describe stuff in your underpants? Well that's the stuff we talked about for a pretty long time. There are many cuss words spoken on this episode, so if you don't like hearing cu...

Do you remember when Jeff Goldblum was regarded by the ladies as "a snack"? Directors would have him shirtless and oiled up in movies where he was playing a scientist and he was cut, Goldblum was working with some muscular fitness. Personally I had no idea. I was around back when he was a leading man, but I guess I just wasn't paying attention to what the modern woman of the early 90s was into. I...

Brett Farve is back in the news! Conservatives complain about "welfare" and then pass it out to millionaire f-bois. This is the American south! The place that will traffic migrants to places that can take care of them because they aren't depressed broke states that give all their money to f-bois! This week is just as stupid as the rest of the year has been and we are here to waste an hour of your...