The Work of Being Human

Welcome to week three in our series called "Waking Up," the process by which we become aware of our conditioning and begin to make conscious choices about who we are and how we live. Bargaining is what we do when we aren't quite yet ready to face who we see in the mirror, the choices we've made, and the consequences we've incurred. Bargaining is how we lessen the blow. Through bargaining, we are a...

Welcome to week two in our series called "Waking Up," the process by which we become aware of our conditioning and begin to make conscious choices about who we are and how we live. Anger is the essential, terrifying step of the journey in which we finally allow ourselves to feel our self-worth and the assaults we've experienced against it. Some of those assaults came from others and some from us....

"Waking up" refers to coming out of the coma-like sleep we live in when we aren't conscious of who we truly are, what we do, and why we do it. All of us have been conditioned to think and act a certain way by teachings we've received or experiences we've had. Waking up is about noticing our conditioning, questioning it, looking within, and becoming our True Selves. The five stages of waking up are...

Sometimes we look back on our lives and see how far we've come, and we're mystified by it. "How did I get here?" Sometimes we set our minds to change something, determined to stop the pain and suffering we've been living in with conscious effort. Sometimes the consequences of our actions become so dire, so painful, that we simply must do something different. Whatever the path, we change. We grow....

Summer brings with it increased desire and ability to travel. We visit family, beaches, parks, and places of interest. We look at weather forecasts and itineraries and think to ourselves: what should I pack? What will I need? The greatest trip any of us will ever take is the trip of our own life. So we ask the same questions: what should I bring with me on this journey called Life, and what can I...

Of all of our relationships, this one looms the most important and telling. This singular relationship will affect every other relationship throughout our life span. Today, we dive into the dynamics and facets of this all-important relationship: the relationship we have with ourselves. This isn't selfish; it's self-love. We discuss the difference between the two and how to cultivate an authentic,...

The path of mental health, growth, and wellness is a tough one, for sure. It requires that we face ourselves and our lives with radical honesty and consistent courage. What stops us? What slows us down? This week, we look at the five most common roadblocks on the path of mental and emotional wellness and how to get around them. Everyone can trip and fall into these common potholes, but if we know...

Mental health is a process, not a static place or a destination. It's about connecting what we learned earlier in life with what we currently do. It's about increasing our knowledge of what humans need, what we needed, and then addressing how those needs are being met or stifled today. Much of "the work" of the journey of mental healthy is about connecting the dots, and the dots are (1) what we ne...

Some qualities stand the test of time. They're the human characteristics we point to when we see that some people stand out and seem to stand stronger and taller than others. But what does character have to do with mental health? Are virtues simply for the philosophers, poets, and sages? Or do we, every day people in pursuit of lives we can live with dignity and peace, need qualities that comprise...

We have to admit it. It's universal. It's human. It's humbling. We all suffer the same sickness, and it's a pandemic. Our real problem is: FEAR. Instead of denying it, avoiding it, masking it, or suppressing it, let's try understanding it. Fear serves a normal, essential human function when it's warranted. When it's not, it literally changes our reality. Most importantly: we need to know the diffe...

The most universal human desire is the desire for happiness, yet so many of us spend our days in such misery. We believe we'll find happiness in relationships, success, achievements, property, or wealth. We look ahead from milestone to milestone, goal to goal, and believe we'll be happy when we get _____. But it's elusive. We spend our lives chasing a carrot. One industry points us here, the churc...

It's a question I hear often in therapy. "Am I crazy?" "I sound crazy, right?" Or just a statement of fact, "I know. I'm crazy." Labels don't serve those who seek mental and emotional health and wholeness. They're arbitrary names that doctors thought up to describe a cluster of symptoms, but they certainly don't heal, and I'm not quite sure they help. We'd do much better understanding ourselves th...

The beloved Buddhist monk Ticht Naht Hanh said, “When you plant lettuce, if it does not grow well, you don't blame the lettuce. You look for reasons it is not doing well.” For too long, professionals in medicine and the field of psychology have blamed depression on a chemical imbalance in the brain despite an absence of proof. This is essentially blaming the lettuce: blaming the brain of the perso...

It's a tough gig this "being a human being," isn't it? Our lives start out in a way that is totally out of our control, and yet that early imprint - called childhood - is what habituates our relationship patterns and expectations for the rest of our lives. If the imprint was healthy, we pursue health by and large. If the imprint was unhealthy, dysfunctional, or even traumatic, we live out these pa...

We hear this word "authenticity" a lot, but what exactly is authenticity, and how do we cultivate it? Is it something we should just intuitively know, or is it learned? What are the implications for mental and emotional health? Today we'll explore how we can be supported on the path of authenticity or manipulated away from it. You'll learn what the biggest threat to authenticity is and three ways...

We don't talk about it enough, but we need to. We need to talk about what integrity is and how the presence or lack of it affects our mental and emotional health. Integrity is indeed a virtue and a desirable quality in character, but it goes far beyond being simply praiseworthy. Our integrity is directly related to how we connect with ourselves and others, forming the basis of our support systems...

Now that we've got a working definition of love, let's talk about what love means in adulthood. How do we know if what we are giving and receiving is the real deal? Hint: real love doesn't cause harm. But... so often we think we are giving love, and what we are doing is actually in the best interest of ourselves. Some of us really struggle with receiving love, and we live in chronic loneliness. We...

This week, we tackle the psychological concept and behavioral reality of Love. What is love? What does it mean to be loved? What happens inside of us when we are loved well? What ideas and beliefs do we form about ourselves when we receive love, good love? What happens when we hear "I love you," but the actions we witness or experience aren't loving? What message is communicated then? Love isn't j...

People seek therapy because they are in pain - emotional or psychological. They form addictions to substances and processes because they are in pain. We seek comfort, consolation, and company because we find ourselves in pain. Pain is the universal human woe, but so few of us understand what to do with it or how to understand it. Today's podcast unpacks the subject of Pain and gives you an underst...

Let's unpack Emotional Health. It's a thing. A distinct thing. It has its own markers, and it is work that spans our entire life. We'll take a look at how emotional health is formed, nurtured, encouraged, or stymied in childhood. Then we'll look at what an emotionally healthy adult looks like. How do emotionally healthy adults handle their emotions? Emotional health is inextricably linked to overa...

Mental health is often defined in the context of mental illness, but mental health has its own markers, just like physical health does. Let's take a look at what those markers are. 

Listen today and learn about the principles, practices, and particulars of mental and emotional growth and how growth is different than change. If we want to grow, we need to create the conditions for growth.