The Work of Being Human

This week we unpack the patterns of thought that get us into trouble. Using Aaron Beck's classic examples of "cognitive distortions," or distorted ways of thinking, we begin to see how our irrational thoughts can be driving our lives in unproductive ways. Clear-minded thinking is an essential for mental health and mental strength, but sometimes we don't catch the tricky thought traps we've fallen...

This week we explore the important topic of how to stay centered in ourselves amidst the ever-changing landscape of life. We'll look at what it feels like when we aren't in our "core" self, what takes us out of it, and how to get back to our center and stay there. A life uncentered is a life adrift and distracted from being who we truly are. This week's episode will give you the tools to understan...

Sometimes the most frustrating conflicts we have in our relationships are because we don't know what our rights are. We argue when we should be calmly stating our boundary. We overstep onto others' rights and wonder what we did wrong. This week, we unpack seven core "rights" in relationship and why they're so important. Knowing our rights gives us solid ground to stand on. We can build our relatio...

This week, we dive into a recent research study that has absolutely rocked the mental health world. University College London has just released an article based on a multi-year research study in which they conclude THERE IS NO SCIENTIFIC EVIDENCE THAT DEPRESSION IS CAUSED BY A CHEMICAL IMBALANCE. This is big news. We read the article together, and I break it down for you. It's time to start unders...

This week we look at depression and anxiety from a different angle. We all struggle at some point with these things, but what if our expectations are off? What if we, by expecting our lives to be easy and happy, are setting ourselves up for disappointment and dismay? Most of grew up learning that if we were "good" people we'd have good lives. We are shocked and unprepared when life comes at us wit...

This week, I created the podcast based on an email recommendation from AnneMarie in Colorado. She wrote about her struggles with listening and a history of harsh communication that made it unsafe. This week, we unpack the fundamentals of being a good listener and what gets in our way. We look at listening as part of relationship instead of something we "should" do. It's a response born out of safe...

In this episode, I have the pleasure of interviewing Tina Parol, a Nashville hit songwriter. Tina walks us through her joint journeys of making music and pursuing mental health. Tina is, in every essence of the word, an overcomer. Through difficult decisions, life circumstances, and trial and error, Tina learned that the strongest thing she can be is mentally healthy. In her own words, "When I mov...

This week I tackle an important and difficult question: is the field of psychotherapy doing more harm than good? Are we, as therapists, actually helping people? Or is our field, our expensive, time-consuming field, doing harm? Are we giving people the tools they need to live their lives with joy and meaning, or are we merely kicking the can of emotional pain down the road? We have to ask these que...

No one escapes it. At some point, we have to deal with toxic people. Toxic people are those whose presence in our lives represents more harm than good. To be in relationship with these people means consistent and significant hardship. This week, we'll answer some important questions: how do I know if someone is toxic? What are the characteristics of a toxic person? How do I leave the relationship,...

This week we explore the things we put off. We often tell ourselves, "It's too late for that," but it's almost never too late to transform your life into a life you love. It's almost never too late to move a relationship toward greater connection and facilitate healing. Our lives are works in progress, always reflecting our inner world. When we realize that it's never, ever too late to be who we w...

Victor Frankl famously wrote about his experience in the concentrations camps of the Holocaust. His book, "Man's Search for Meaning," is a harrowing and profound journey from the gates of Hell to finding meaning in the worst of humanity. This, he claims, is what redeems our struggles from the pointless suffering of mankind to a sacred event: the discovery of meaning. This week, we unpack this. Wha...

This week, we dive into what it really means to take care of ourselves, otherwise known as "self-care." We look at what it is (reconnection and restoration) and what it's not (selfishness and self-indulgence). The subject of "self-care" has become all the rage, but we're missing the point if we think it means giving ourselves momentary pleasure or indulging our whims. Self-care has the astounding...

This week we explore the topic of shame: what it is and how to get ahead of it in our lives. Most of us believe shame to be solely a "bad" emotion, but we'll take a look at when shame is actually productive and when it's tearing us apart. We'll discuss the dysfunctional ways we cope with shame. Finally, we dive into how to understand our shame so it's not controlling us any more. Shame is a univer...

Conflicts are inevitable, but so few of us know what to do when conflict arrives in our relationships. We avoid it. We panic and acquiesce. We take over out of fear. We people please. We just break down and scream and fight. This week, we look closely at the tools we need to make conflict work FOR us. This means we are gaining more insight and understanding about the person with whom we're in conf...

This week, our guest is Dr. Brian Hooper. Brian is a licensed clinical pastoral therapist and an ordained Lutheran priest. Earlier in his life, in the process of coming out, Brian learned what it meant and what it costs to become the authentic self. His spirituality served as the bedrock of his growth toward the True Self, and in this episode, Brian expertly weaves his understanding of psychology...

This week, we focus on the daily work we must do to keep our minds clear and grounded. Mental health doesn't just take place in therapy sessions and light bulb moments. It's a day-to-day focus of disciplining our minds to think thoughts that are congruent and supportive of our mental and emotional health. We discuss how to distinguish between what *feels* true and what *is* true. We look at false...

Our mind can justify anything, but the body never lies. This week's podcast focuses on the inherent wisdom of the body and why and how to listen to it. In the myriad of life decisions we all must make, the body is a safeguard. It warns us when danger is present - both emotional and relational - and our only job is to listen to it. Mental and emotional health is holistic; this means we incorporate...

A diet is not a weight loss strategy. It's a word that describes what we take in - day by day - that either fuels us or drains us. The Emotional Diet is a list of the emotional needs you have to live an optimum, emotionally "healthy" life. From the need to be heard to our shared need for community to our deep need for validation, we all share the same emotional needs, in different amounts, at diff...

In this episode I interview Angela Wittenberg. Angela is the founder and Executive Director of Hananiah House, a nonprofit that provides housing, support, care, guidance, and healing to women who have recently been released from prison. No stranger to prison work, Angela has been actively involved in a maximum security prison here in Nashville for many years. She's brought a 12-step meeting (ACOA)...

How do we know when we're making progress? What are some markers of healing? Today we look at seven distinct ways you can know you're on the healing path. We know we're healing when 1. we stop comparing ourselves to others, 2. we stop beating ourselves up, 3. we bounce back more easily, 4. the victim narrative isn't attractive to us anymore, 5. our True Self is present in more areas of our lives,...

This week, we take a deep dive into cultish ideologies and how subtly they can migrate into our belief systems. I'll unpack my own history with cults and the roles that dogma and fear play in our indoctrination into belief systems that can easily be identified as cultish. You don't have to follow a charismatic leader to a tropical forest and drink Kool-Aid to have cultish ideologies. All you need...

Of all the troubling and trouble-making dynamics we encounter in relationship, this is the one that does the most harm. It's denial. Denial is the wall that stands between our issues and our growth. It's the narrative we tell ourselves when we can't face the truth. This week, we unpack what it is and how to come out of it.

In this month's interview, we explore how to create healing spaces with Brad Ramsey, a Nashville-based interior designer. Brad is known for the depth and richness of his design. His palates are calming, earthy, and soothing to the soul. But how does he create that? Brad takes us on his own journey of coming out, starting his own business, and finding his "voice" in the design world. We learn about...

When we think of abandonment, we imagine it means leaving something or someone physically. An abandoned house, an abandoned dog. It's something of value that no one's taking responsibility for. But abandonment doesn't have to mean a physical abandonment. Sometimes abandonment is as subtle as a quiet withdrawal. Abandonment is scorching when someone storms out on someone, but it can be just as deva...

We all want love and we want to love others. But sometimes the love we're giving isn't what is needed, wanted, or even liked. This week, we unpack how we love. And we ask ourselves some honest questions: Why do I love the way I do? Is it what others want? If not, how will I know?