The Work of Being Human

This week we have the distinct pleasure of having spiritual teacher, coach, and healer, Erika Enriquez, on the show. Her clarity and understanding of the Inner Child can advance us all on the road of healing. Her life wasn't easy and these lessons were hard won, but the grace and *appreciation* she has for everything that formed her will give you a new perspective on the hardship in your life. Req...

A client asked me a question two weeks ago that got me thinking... I haven't told you the whole story. This week, I tell you what the turning point was in my own life. To learn more about groups, click here: https://www.vanessalondino.com/contact

The final installment of our series on the Drama Triangle brings us to the "Persecutor," aka the "bad guy" or the villain. This is the most aggressive role and often the most damaging. Tune in this week to learn how the Persecutor operates, why, and how you can stop shifting into this role. For information on groups or the Toolbox workshop, click here: https://www.vanessalondin...

Last time we took a deep dive into the Victim Mindset, this time it's the second leg in Karpman's Triangle: The Rescuer. This is the person who gets the most praise and has the "best" reputation. They'll give you the shirt off their back, but is it really about helping? Today we explore how to actually help someone in need, when to help, when to let them figure it out, and ho...

What is a victim? What is the difference between being victimized and having a victim mindset? This week and for the next two weeks in July, we're going to take a deep dive into each role in the famous "Drama Triangle." From Victim, to Rescuer, to Persecutor, we all need to develop some awareness about how these roles inhabit us in conflict and what we can do to get out of them and out of the drea...

Some of my favorite work is when adult clients bring in their parents. Brave souls enter my office in their 70s and 80s, willing to do whatever it takes to break dysfunction and free their children and grandchildren from the chains of trauma that hold generations captive. But what does it take to heal a family system? A lot. It's not easy. But it's possible. Share this podcast with members...

We talk a lot about healing on this podcast. Healing from depression... anxiety... trauma. What if I told you that healing from schizophrenia was possible? Naturally? Without drugs? From inner work? Today's guest will prove me right. Tracey has walked one of the bravest roads and come out of it healed and helping others to heal. She tells her story of how healing is possible for everyone who&#...

"It's a chemical imbalance!" "It's hereditary." "I'm predisposed to it..." We've been told so many complicated, unhelpful reasons for why we suffer in life. Our mental and emotional distress leads us to therapist after therapist, and it can feel hopeless. Their diagnoses give us no information about what went wrong in our lives, just the shameful insin...

This week I have the honor of interviewing one of my earliest inspirations in this field. I met Virgil Stucker, then the Executive Director of Cooper-Riis healing community in Asheville, NC, when I was just an intern. The impact of that meeting and the subsequent visit to Cooper-Riis changed me forever and set my feet on a path of helping others in the most humane and effective way possible. Simpl...

The current moment is telling us: "You don't need a relationship. You don't need anyone. You need to be perfectly fine alone." But is that realistic? For a species that is as socially complex and needy as human beings, is the idea that we can thrive without intimacy reality or fantasy? This week we take a look at what it takes for a relationship to truly be a healing presence in...

This interview is one I've been chomping at the bit to bring to you! Erin Watt, a masterfully skilled and highly sought after relationship coach, is our guest this week, and believe me when I say: she brings it! Get ready to learn concepts that are going to change and better how you see yourself in relationships. Get ready to feel empowered and encouraged to pursue your relationships with the skil...

The old saying goes, "You can't really love someone until you can love yourself." This week we unpack this and ask ourselves, "Is this really true?" Can we only love someone if we’ve learned how to love ourselves? Are we capable of love if we’ve never formed it within? Let me know what you think! thepodcast@vanessalondino.com And write to me here if you want to be featured on “Ask V!” Link to purc...

This week I address a question a listener sent me on Instagram. Heather is facing a dilemma with a friend who's really changed. She feels distant and even mistreated. So the question arose: how long do we stick in there with someone and when is it okay to say, “Enough is enough?” We look at dramatic changes in personality from a psychological lens, and we also examine what it means to be a friend...

This week we have the distinct honor of having Michael Giles as our guest. He's a therapist, a coach, an Army Captain, and he's a dog-lover, so we know he's good people! We dive into the experience of working with men in therapy and what the specific needs of men are. We agree about most things! Michael is skilled, experienced, thoughtful, and fair. You're going to learn a lot and love this interv...

Unfortunately, the field of mental health is susceptible to gimmicks, just like any other industry. Today we focus on the basic, time-tested pillars of mental health versus the quick fixes that get you nowhere. Mental health is not a birthright. It's not inherited. It's not easy. Like physical health, mental health takes work and commitment. Frankly, it's hard work. It's much easie...

Happy New Year to all! This week, we take a thorough look at what we're carrying with us into 2024 and what we need to let go of. Carrying extra weight will slow us down, causing us to lose focus on our dreams and goals. We talk about what "baggage" means and how to live light and free. So many of us carry the burden of others' choices as well as the untenable weight of the past....

This week we have a special guest: Dr. David Thornton. David is a licensed clinical pastoral therapist and an expert in spiritual abuse. At a time of year when so many are observing religious traditions and searching for God, it's also a time of year when many get in touch with their own emptiness and longing for something beyond us. This week, we take a deep look at what it means to be safe o...

The medical industry has completely taken over mental health. That means, instead of looking at root causes of mental distress and treating the whole person, mental health professionals are taught to do what doctors do: diagnose based on symptoms and focus their efforts on lessening the symptoms. I don't work that way, and I don't believe people heal that way. Your symptoms are telling your story...

Chances are, we're going to be spending some time around family this time of year. Some of those old triggers come back, and before we know it, we're acting like we did before we ever stepped foot in therapy. Don't despair! The chains of family dysfunction are thick and strong, but you can break them. This week we take a look at how they develop and how to break free. The article I ref...

The nature of human beings is: we internalize the voices we surround ourselves with. As we start winding down this year and enter into the holiday season, it's a good time to consider: whose voices are allowed in your life? Whose messages have you internalized to be your own? This has a remarkable impact on our mental health. To order the Toolbox: https://www.amazon.com/Toolbox-Tools-Build-Rel...

Growing up in a bilingual family taught me something: if you don't speak the language, you miss out on practically everything. This week we take a deep dive into the anatomy of the brain - how men's and women's brains are naturally and beautifully different - and how that affects our communication styles. We take an honest look at the expected "norm" in our society where communication is concerned...

The global state of mental health is in decline as more people than ever before report living with chronic mental distress, more people are on psychotropic medications, and more are dying by suicide, not less. Effective therapists are in high demand, yet graduate programs are churning out new therapists who are trained to diagnose and treat the diagnosis rather than the human being. The model and...

In this episode, we take a deep dive into what makes dysfunctional families dysfunctional and when it's time to cut things off. We examine the responsibilities of parents and the rights of children and what happens in role reversals, when children become responsible for the emotional wellbeing of their parents. Not all family situations require a full cut off, but are families wholly unaccount...

This week, Jared finally caved and accepted my invitation to interview him on the podcast. Yes: Jared, the editor, who is also my beloved husband. His story is compelling, and his voice is real and genuine. Our relationship started with all the usual joy and happy anticipation, but Jared had developed a habit that was holding him back and keeping us outside of the intimacy we both wanted. In this...

When someone says, "I don't really get angry," this should be a red flag. Anger is a vital, functional human emotion, but it is vastly and consistently misunderstood. This week, we take a deep dive into the healthy purpose of anger and an even deeper dive into the dysfunctional expressions of anger: the explosive type and the suppressed type. So whether you can get aggressive or pass...