The Work of Being Human

Listen to this episode if you’re feeling defeated, tired, run down, or if you’re hearing yourself complain a lot. Elysia Skye is a speaker, mindset and leadership consultant, and host of The Brilliance Method Podcast, and here’s what I learned from talking to her: authenticity in action is one of the most compelling expressions of humanity. Elysia is brave, bold, deeply caring, and filled with har...

Dr. Alan Weissenbacher is a pastor and a neuroscientific researcher. His work in addiction and recovery led him to dive more deeply into the brain’s ability to change and rewire itself. In this episode, Dr. Weissenbacher leads us down the road of recovery, brain change, a grace filled process, and why you should celebrate every step. (Hint: it has to do with how your brain works.) He’s funny, kind...

Many listeners have requested an episode on grief for two reasons: (1) grief is difficult, and we seek all the help we can get. (2) Grief is universal. We will all face losses of many kinds. Marcia’s experience with grief, while heart wrenching and tragic, offers us hope, purpose, and an uncommon vitality. She is an expert on finding life again after loss. Marcia teaches us to view grief as a spir...

Two weeks ago, we took a bit of a deep dive into understanding how our negative beliefs develop. This week, we're going to tackle what we DO about them. How do we actually change negative belief systems about ourselves? About others? The truth is, we have a lot more power and agency than we realize. Through deeper understanding and an assertion of our commitment to growth and change, we can ac...

This was one of those episodes I simply had to do. I was ready to record part 2 of last weeks episode (“Why Am I So Hard on Myself?”), but based on my own experience and what I’m hearing from you all, I had to pivot. This week, we tackle what to do when we’re offended, when we disagree. We look at the escalation stages of conflict and how to diffuse it at the most essential stage. We are going to...

This week we tackle an important theme in therapy: self-understanding. Clients see therapists for a variety of needs: relief, tools, compassion, and hope. But underscoring all of these important goals is one universal must: you must learn to understand yourself. Most of us, at some point or another, have battled a negative internal voice. This week, we unpack it and explore how to understand your...

The last few weeks have brought us stories of horrific violence - a shooting during mass at a Catholic school in Minneapolis resulting in dozens of injuries and two dead children, a senseless murder of a young woman on a train, who came to our country for a better life, then the assassination of political leader, Charlie Kirk, killed in cold blood while debating students on a university campus. Th...

We've all said it; we've all felt it: "I'm confused!" We are flooded with too many thoughts, feelings, options, and contradictions. It's uncomfortable, we like clarity, so we try to push it away as quickly as possible. Just like anger and sadness, confusion gets a bad rap because it's uncomfortable, but it's serves an almost wholly positive purpose in mental healt...

It is THE most searched for phrase in any search concerning mental health. “ Am I depressed? ” “How do I know if I’m depressed?” “What are the symptoms of depression?” “Can depression be healed or resolved?” (Yes.) We want to know and understand ourselves. We need to have a sense of what is normal and what isn’t. How much sadness in the normal tragedy of life is allowed before it becomes a habit?...

ChatGPT can give you endless information, instant insights, and will even mimic a little human comfort — but it can’t heal you. In this episode, I unpack the real role of AI in our search for growth and wholeness: the advantages (access to knowledge, new perspectives, clarity) and the limits (no intimacy, no struggle, no human relationship). Healing isn’t about collecting data; it’s about being kn...

Relationships are hard. We know this. We are trying to find common ground between us when we come from different backgrounds, assumptions, and habits. It takes patience, time, investment, skill, and a lot of humility. But what happens in relationship when you enter trauma into the mix? What happens when one or both partners are traumatized? When they carry wounds and scars from past abuse, hardshi...

Do you ever notice how - around some people - you feel really confused? Do conversations feel like a labyrinth? Do you find yourself losing your own train of thought and suddenly you realize the conversation has taken a completely different turn away from what you wanted to talk about? Do you ever notice that you spend hours in difficult conversation and nothing gets resolved? Ladies and gentlemen...

Welcome back to Substance, Not Psychobabble! After a couple of months off, I’m back and I’m raring to go. One of my first projects I undertook in the early summer was building a potting bench. Just me, about 1,000 pieces of wood, 1,000,000 screws, a drill, a couple of hammers, and a photo of what it was supposed to look like. I wished myself luck, blasted some hard rock, threw my baseball cap on b...

This week, we welcome David Lea to Substance, Not Psychobabble. He is a relationship coach, a trauma specialist, and an expert on masculine and feminine energy. He explores the healthy and unhealthy masculine and feminine in us all, and teaches us how to bring our polarized parts into harmony within us and our relationships. David's message resonates with strength and clarity: your relationship is...

Last Saturday, I spent a good amount of time in my yard, weeding. My thoughts turned to mental health, and I thought a lot about how to get down to the root of a problem to eradicate it rather than just grasping at the surface issue and leaving the roots intact. Why? Because weeds which are not pulled up from the root grow back, just like our problems and struggles when we don't address the ro...

This week we delve into the real issue... past the emotions, the mental distress, the "diagnosis" your psychiatrist uses to categorize you. We look at the REAL root cause of ALL mental and emotional distress. Hint: it's not a brain malfunction or a chemical imbalance. It's far simpler than that: it's what you believe about yourself and the world. Yes, your belief systems are...

I interviewed one of my heroes! Dr. Chip Dodd, author of the seminal and bestselling book "The Voice of the Heart," is our guest on this week's podcast. Get ready to understand your feelings and how you're made to function. Get ready to feel restored to YOURSELF. Get ready for truth bomb after truth bomb. And get ready to take copious notes. If a podcast has the ability to heal you, this is the on...

This week we take a closer look at why some people grow and change, and some don't. We'll unpack what is necessary for inner transformation to occur. Hint: it's simple but not easy. Most people will NOT do the work and simply live their lives blaming others and making excuses, but for those who brave themselves, transformation is inevitable. For more information about online groups: ht...

Human beings have a unique relationship with the past that sets us apart from any other animal: we can meaningfully reflect on the past and learn from it. Unfortunately, this also means that we get stuck in it sometimes. This week, we tackle what a healthy relationship with the past looks like. Why should we talk about and reflect on the past, and when? And how do we shut the door and move on? Sen...

Pain is inevitable. It's an unavoidable truth. Yet, we all want to avoid it and end it as quickly as possible. Without being wise about what kind of pain is good and healthy and what kind of pain is unhealthy, we risk trying to rid ourselves of ALL pain, and we won't grow as a result. This week, we analyze healthy and unhealthy pain and what to do about both. If life is pain (and it is), we need t...

Welcome to a new year, Everyone! This week we examine the motivation and mechanics of change. What makes changes really stick? And role does excuse making have in our attempts at growth? for more information on groups: https://www.vanessalondino.com/contact To send me info or questions about the podcast : thepodcast@vanessalondino.com

As we wind down a year, let's plan to start 2025 with our best foot forward. This week, we explore the four books you should read at the start of every year. They're refreshers and reminders of what a sound, mentally healthy life looks like. (No, my book isn't in the top four, but it did receive an honorable mention. ;-)) For more information on the online group: https://www.vanessalondino.com/con...

You might remember our previous interview with Dr. David Thornton called "You Are Holy." He's a therapist in the Nashville, TN area who specializes in spiritual abuse, and because we simply can't get enough of David, he's back to point us on another path toward our true selves, toward healing. So sit back, get yourself a cup of tea, and let David's voice guide you into the places you fear, only to...

We've all heard the phrase: "get a thicker skin." It means to toughen up, not let things affect you, don't be so sensitive, or don't take it personally. This week we look at this common phrase and the harm it causes. It's part of family dysfunction, and it's actually a reaction to unnecessary cruelty. What kind of boundaries can we set with aggressive people? Or should we all try to just get a thi...

This week, Valentina Bain - an epigenetic coach - walks us through how our genes affect our mental and physical health. Yes, our genes! The genetic blueprint of our entire life from the moment of conception to death. Are we fighting nature? Are we aligned with what our bodies actually want and need? Valentina breaks it down and makes it possible to approach your own personal health with precision....