The Well-Fed Business Podcast

In today's somewhat meandering episode you will discover a new word for Connor, what REALLY happened to Madeleine McCann, and how badly The EBG can butcher a perfectly good joke about nuns, car tyres, and oral sex. Amid the filth, there's also the occasional gem about marketing and selling at higher prices (you'll also hear about the plumber who's had his best month ever from his new showroom — £2...

Ever wondered if you were a "little bit autistic"? If you have, then you're not. Why? The EBG reveals all, in the way only The EBG can. You'll also discover what a MILF in her little black number at the local nightclub has to do with your business, and what no one but your spouse and mother cares about (but what most tradesmen seem to think is something clients want). Then, if you want more of wha...

Ever wondered why salad cream is the vilest and most disgusting substance on this or any other planet? No? Well... you're in for a treat because The EBG has the answer. The boys will also be sharing their wisdom with you on sales — specifically how to make more of them, streamline the whole process, and get more "yesses" by saying "no". Everyone is aware they can’t deliver top quality, the best se...

In today's episode, we're talking about... OK, laughing derisively at Bunham's crap hairstyle, a monstrosity just a flick away from a mullet. All the man needs is a wife-beater and he'll be our very own chav. Aside from the madness we did find some time to talk biz, and if you listen carefully, make notes, and do as we tell you, I guarantee your sales conversion rates (and the prices you can comma...

Grubby, tarnished, and about as welcome as a dose of the clap. What's that? Bunham? Nope. I'm talking about SALES. Cuz that's exactly how most people see it. But sales is a necessary, desirable, and HONOURABLE skill every subcontractor needs under their belt if they want to have the successful business they deserve. Why do I say this? Listen to this episode and I'll tell you. Everyone is aware the...

Lordy... The EBG was on form today, waxing lyrical and angry about idiot "gurus" and their unwitting pop-psychology paradoxes. And in between rants the boys had a thing or two to say about how to ensure you get paid, get paid in full, and get paid 100% of the time. Miss this episode at your peril. Everyone is aware they can’t deliver top quality, the best service, and the lowest price at the same...

Is it a bird? Is it a plane? Is it a theory or a hypothesis? Nope. It's a scientifically illiterate load of tosh. And then... if your competitors are cutting their prices and playing the business equivalent of playground fisticuffs by inviting you to a price war... ... take a deep breath, listen to The EBG and you'll be fine (and not poor). Discover the EASY way to make every sale at full price, r...

In today's manic episode you'll discover the easy way to see you're undercharging, the frightening truth about what happens if you fail to raise your prices for too long, and exactly why The EBG thinks Social Justice Warriors should either toddle off to Saudi Arabia and spew their nonsense, or be taken out and shot, buried in a shallow grave, dug up a week later, shot a second time just to make su...

Ever wondered what The EBG regards most coaches as a stain on the gusset of humanity? If you have, then you’ll love today’s Episode because he’s telling you exactly WHY this is. You’ll also discover the only three ways to grow your profits and why virtually everyone always chooses the two hardest and most unsure ways of doing it (clue: they’re spineless and yellow-bellied). Everyone is aware they...

Today we kick off with Poundland dildos (yours for a fiver), and an eye-opening selection of the world’s most expensive sex toys (including a $1.3 million vibrator). The point? You can choose to sell cheapo dildos to Wayne and Waynetta, or you can cruise with the Elite and their bottomless pockets and insatiable sexual appetites. And if YOU won’t sell to the high end of your market, then someone e...

Aaaand... he’s back! Benham has finally cut loose from his mother’s apron strings and struck out on his own, moving into a top-floor penthouse with a bevy of hot Playboy Girls. Hefner didn’t have a patch on this stud of a boy. But today Benham takes a few minutes out of his new moist and thrusting lifestyle to jam with me about the insanity of the Price War. What is it good for? Absolutely nothing...

The Price Objection... ah, that big chance on the glistening head of your sales. The fact is, almost no one is a die-hard price buyer. And if you're constantly being challenged on YOUR prices, then it's your own fault (and you compound the error if you knuckle under and give a discount). What do clients want more than a low price? Why do they challenge your prices in the first place? And what can...

Benham's still AWOL. Last we heard he was trapped under a pile of bin-liners full of his underwear, frantically calling for help from the IKEA delivery driver. Truth. This ACTUALLY happened. So it was left to The EBG and The Grown Up to hold the fort and wax lyrical about how idiotic AND unnecessary it is to sell yourself on low price when the alternative is far more profitable and attractive and...

Benham? Never heard of her. Just as well because he’s gone AWOL again leaving it to the real workers in the business to bring you today’s epic episode. Once more The EBG and The Grown Up (his eldest daughter) venture forth into the murky world of the trades and reveal to you the quick and easy ways to spot and avoid haemorrhoid clients (and why you’d do well to pass them on to your competitors). T...

Little known fact: endlessly asking The EBG to draw ice-creams is a quick way to get yourself drowned at bath-time. Uh? All is revealed in today's episode. You'll also discover who has all the power in any negotiation, why The EBG hates "yebbuts", and how to avoid the massive disappointment of not making a sale. Then, if you want more of what you see in our podcast you can help yourself to a copy...

In today's obnoxious episode you'll get a rare glimpse into The EBG's innermost thoughts and fantasies and why Benham's gonna vote for him at the next election. Why would The EBG build a long wall if not to keep out immigrants? What would he do with slow and hesitant drivers? And why, exactly, does he want to concrete over Birmingham? You'll also get the skinny on other people's unqualified, irrel...

You know what friends, family, the bloke down the pub, and random people on LinkedIn all have in common? They're all a crap choice to make when looking for expert advice. Why? Tune in and Benham and The EBG will tell you (and in no uncertain terms). You'll also discover more about masturbation than you ever wanted to know (although once you do know it you'll really wish you didn't. Alas, you can u...

You ever get that sinking feeling when That Client's number comes up on your phone or the email lands in your inbox? You know whose fault it is? Yours. And in this Episode, Benham and The EBG will mercilessly peel back your eyelids and apply the hot gravel of revelation as they force you to see the truth about crap clients and why it's ALWAYS your own fault when you get them. You'll also get the c...

Is it a bird? Is it a plane? No, it’s Benham’s iPad trashing itself Cuz Reasons. But, fret ye not... we had it covered and missed not a step as we forged ahead with today’s deeply insightful Episode on the one thing you can smell a mile away in your prospective clients... and when you do, you need to advance rapidly in the opposite direction lest they cling to you like snot on a blanket and drag y...

So... Benham's back from the postroom, but can't speak properly because he's stuck his lips together with Sellotape (I am not making this up, I swear). Anyway... contrary to popular belief (and counterintuitively) Da Rules will set you free rather than constrain you. How? Why? So what? What rules do you need and who makes 'em? All good questions, and I'm glad you asked. Join us, and we'll tell you...

And now for something completely different... ... because today it's The EBG and the Grown-Up, Holly. Why? Because Benham had an unfortunate accident in the Postroom with an untended Sellotape dispenser, and, to add insult to injury, repaired to his bedroom only to find his dog had crapped all over his bed. Like they say... ya can't get the staff. So it was left to McCulloch Senior and his Adoring...

In today's episode, the Dynamic Duo wax scathing and lyrical about "influencers" and the mentality of anyone who wastes time worrying about anything to do with their vain and trivial lives (clue: it's a waste of time investing any time, energy, or emotion in anything no sane person cares about). Oh yeah, and The EBG goes off on one about "gurus" on LinkedIn who, in a profound display of ignorance...

Want more? Then get off your arse and apply to joJust when you thought they couldn't get any more objectionable and offensive... The EBG recounts how he knows beyond all reasonable doubt even men in their 90s get boners. You'll also get the inside scoop on why Benham's been relegated to the post room and is barely worth minimum wage... and on that topic you'll enjoy the boys getting aerated, angry...

In today’s loud and decidedly rambunctious episode you’ll finally see why The EBG doesn’t let Benham get even remotely close to anything important (Holly’s main job as Certified Adult is to keep him happy and fed by sliding pizzas under the door of his cupboard). You’ll also uncover the shameful truth about Benham’s mysterious clapperboard, and hear how The EBG brought the sheer tenacity of his pi...

Follow Benham and the EBG down the F-Word rabbit hole of marketing and shudder as they plumb the depths of broken pelvises, snipers’ rifles, and paedo-priests. You may even learn a thing or two about why it’s SO important to know whom you’re selling to, what’s keeping them awake at night staring at the ceiling, and how you can get their juices flowing. Oh, and see if you can spot Benham’s BIG FAT...