The UnMothered Podcast

Do you trust the judgment of your children as adults? When we as moms can’t get out of our way to allow our adult children to live their own lives how can that impact our relationship with them?  So many times I have sat in places at parties, family gatherings, and such where I overhear or have conversations with well-meaning mothers about their adult children. And too many times I hear them...

Jacqueline Julia is a single mom of 2 young boys. Her first marriage ended in divorce and in a second marriage, she began to see signs of narcissistic abuse. She is currently separated and working through the healing process. This has led her to a new passion for helping to heal other women through their own struggles of trauma. She is receiving her education as a mental health coach. Follow and c...

If you grew up with a scarcity mentality, can you have a healthy relationship when money comes in?  At the beginning of January, I did a fast with my church. I decided to take 3 weeks off from watching TV. When I came back to it, my daughter and I watched the new Netflix game show “The Trust”.  I began to realize that most people who aren’t ready for big windfalls of money end up back in...

Does grief get easier throughout the years?  Short answer: that grief will always stay with you, it will just look different as time moves on. 40 years ago, I lost my first son Linton. There is no timeline for grief for sure. I cry just as much today as I did 40 years ago.  The crazy thing was about 25 years ago, there was a time each year when I would get depressed and didn’t know why....

What are you doing differently this year to find that balance of boundaries and peace with the difficult relationship with your mom? I will ask some questions today to see if this is the year you will start taking care of your mental health and find a place to balance out the struggle of loving and setting hard boundaries in your relationships.  This year you need to take a hard look at what...

When I’m mentoring a woman, I hear this statement a lot “My Mother just doesn’t understand or get me. . .” and today, I am hoping to use this Linked® Personality Guide to fill this gap.  A couple of years ago, I became certified as a Linked® Personality coach using the book LINKED® Quick Guide to Personalities by Linda Gilden and Linda Goldfarb. To become certified I had to present my learnin...

Trigger warning: This week’s episode contains talk about suicide. If you feel the need to skip the episode, feel free to do so.  Let’s be honest, grief is a ‘B’.  In November/December I had to walk through the many emotions of unexpected tragedy and loss.  I was never expecting to do an episode like this when I started my podcast a year ago, but here we are. I know God makes a way f...

What does it take to be a trauma coach and what is a trauma coach? Why would you need one and how do you find one? In this episode, we are going to dive into what drew me to learn more about what trauma coaching was, how I didn’t know what I didn’t know about my traumas and triggers, and how I found Karrie Scott Garcia to teach me all the things I needed to get truthful about my journey.  Thi...

We will still be active on social media if you want to connect with me over there. As always we appreciate your love and support so much and would love it if you take the time to leave us a review! Happy Holidays Peeps, see you in the New Year! Looking to connect with other UnMothered’s? Join the PRIVATE Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/TheUnmotheredCommunity This podcast is on YouT...

Growing up in a dysfunctional family, did you ever think about birth order when growing up? If you are the oldest, what responsibilities did you feel were put on you? The same goes if you are the middle child or a younger one. It’s also a great time to take a few personality tests, just to understand a little bit more. Not to be used as an excuse for your behaviors, but to learn and grow. You shou...

Today we are talking with Janet McHenry. She is a national speaker and author of 27 books, including the bestselling PrayerWalk, The Complete Guide to the Prayers of Jesus, and her new release, Praying Personalities. She directs the prayer ministries at The Bridge Church in Reno and serves on the California leadership team for the National Day of Prayer. The leader of the hundreds-strong Bible Gir...

One of the biggest fears I had when starting a family was, how can I create a healthy family when I hadn’t been brought up in one.  If you have not dealt with the issues you have grown up around there can be residual anger that you let out on your child. Or you can end up overcompensating for the things you have lost in your childhood and smother your child.  I am so grateful to God for...

How do we NOT get swept into all the dysfunction and drama from our family?  Do we just “peace out” with toxic family members during this time? What if your family is just difficult at best, but not toxic? Ugh, just thinking about the holidays of my childhood makes me want to sweat right now.  I recently watched The Bear Season 2 Episode 6: Fishes. And let me tell you, in this particular...

When I became a mother, my heart exploded with love and I was so confused as to how my mother could be so cold to us kids. When you become a mom, it becomes so much more noticeable how much you were Unmothered! How do we learn to do the things of which we were not taught?  I couldn’t imagine not pouring out my very best to this beautiful baby. Now that being said, did that baby sometimes driv...

When you lose a family member most people think you are supposed to be sad, but what happens when that person was hard to love? How can you maneuver through that grief and what kind of feelings do arise?  When I  was scrolling through Instagram, one of my favorite trauma recovery coaches Nate Postlewait ( https://www.instagram.com/nate_postlethwait ) was talking about this subject. It st...

Being a caregiver can be an amazing thing, but don’t forget to take care of yourself.  I recently watched a short segment on how Bruce Willis’s wife, Emma was taking a break from being a caregiver. As she held back tears, she explained, (although she shouldn’t have to) that even though she is out and about with a smile on her face and it seems she is having fun, she is tired and highly stress...

Let’s dig into a deeper conversation about some signs and qualities that I’ve started to notice about people with narcissistic tendencies. A big question we must ask is, where it comes from (possibly) and what are some signs of things you yourself may be suffering from being around or living with a person who is narcissistic. Upon my reading and studying, I’ve come across a few signs that show you...

Can you help someone out of their past, if the root of the problem still remains?  I was listening to the news recently and heard the story about Michael Oher and his fight with the Tuohy family. It reminded me of how bringing someone into a healthy family can be an amazing thing, but if they don’t do the deep work, the problems will still remain. As a disclaimer, this is only my opinion, and...

Most women don’t even acknowledge that their mom is a narcissist or may be toxic.  In order to start your healing journey, you have to NAME the pain that has been done to you in your childhood.  And I want to note, I’m not giving out professional advice! Apart from being a certified coach, I am not a doctor or therapist, so please take this as my personal opinion and as my own personal e...

There is a difference between helping with love, versus being the person who is allowing the continuation of dysfunction to happen by enabling.  I recently watched a movie called ‘To Leslie’ that was an unexpected success in my book, Andrea Riseborough played Leslie and knocked it out of the park as an alcoholic mom. The reason I say this is because as an adult child of an alcoholic, I could...

When is it okay to talk about the hard things in your story? Do you feel as if you are allowed?  To be able to name the things of harm in your story is not only important, it’s necessary for your healing. For far too long the generations of the past have demanded that we “shut up and move on” or tell us “it wasn’t that bad”.  We are told we are being babies and complaining about things w...

Stacy Leicht is an author, speaker, and veteran teacher. Stacy currently works at UNC-Greensboro in the Education Department where she trains future teachers. Stacy believes there's a story in every seat, and God uniquely made each person with a purpose. She has dealt with physical trauma, being violated by someone she trusted, and the anxiety and fear of having a stalker. Yet, God has replaced th...

What was it like growing up in your home?  In my home, I felt like I was constantly dealing with a teenager or even a child. While at the time I just thought this was ‘normal’ I later understood that it wasn’t. When you grow up with a parent who is emotionally immature and can’t be the adult in the family relationship it can feel like their needs are paramount to yours. They are physically th...

Andrea M. Nyberg is an author, speaker, and photographer passionate about (re)framing the collision of faith and mental health and its impact on our identity, emotions, and relationships. Her debut book, I’m Such A Messterpiece , invites others who are facing a crisis of faith and identity to consider that pain and hope can hold hands and a mess can still be a masterpiece. Andrea holds a master of...

Let’s be honest. . .  You can still love your mom from afar, but what are these feelings of love and hate for our moms?  Can we just “get over” it?  Let's discuss the good, bad, and ugly of having a difficult, abusive mom. And by abusive, it can be emotionally abusive which is sometimes more hurtful than physical because the scars are on the inside. I sat with so many women who have...