The UnMothered Podcast

Does your mom think she’s your best friend? Some mother-daughter relationships blur the line between love and control, with moms inserting themselves into every aspect of their daughter’s life—where they live, what job they take, and even how they dress. Often, this stems from a deep fear of being left behind or an unfulfilled need to relive experiences through their child. While their intentions...

It’s not that your mom doesn't love you, it’s that she doesn’t know how to love you.  Have you ever found yourself wondering, ‘Does my mom really love me?’ It’s a painful question that many of us with difficult mothers have asked. In this episode, I dive into the emotional and psychological impact of growing up with a mother who couldn’t love the way we needed.  Inspired by Susan Forward...

Our bodies and minds are such an amazing tool, but it can also be damaged by trauma.  When that happens, we can be doing life through a failed truth.  Let’s explore how trauma affects our bodies and how it is a real dilemma that most people would rather ignore than face. When we can get real about what our body is feeling during stressful situations, we can start to become the person God...

Often you might hear: “God, why did this happen to me?”  I believe there is a difference between blessings and curses and shifts in our lives. But, we are responsible for some of the choices we make. Also, sometimes things happen that we don’t see coming. But through it all God will work it out for you if you allow Him to be in charge.  We need to start learning the difference between so...

Do you do things out of genuine kindness or because you think people won’t like you if you don’t help?  Are you a people pleaser or perfectionist? Have you ever asked yourself where that started and why?  Helping others is a great quality but only if you do it out of love, not guilt or shame. Let’s find out who told you to be perfect at all times, and let’s start learning the word “no” o...

A year of loss has taught me so many things about how different causes of death affect us and ultimately how we handle grief and loss.  Also, the timeline for “getting over it” is this…there isn’t one!  You have to allow God AND your body to work through grief. I will walk you through some things I have learned and how I feel about loss after a year of losing 3 loved ones in a short amou...

Are you team Lorelai team Emily or maybe even Rory?  If you are familiar with the show “Gilmore Girls” you know these characters well.  The mother/daughter/granddaughter dynamic had me glued to the show. Whenever there is a mother/daughter storyline, I’m ready to watch and observe. So my question is “which mom is right?”  You will have to listen to this episode to find out, but one...

What do your dreams look like and are you ready to make them happen in 2025?   Do you know how much you have helped my dreams come true by supporting this podcast?  Grateful is an understatement, but today I want to help you fulfill something in your heart that you have been wanting to do. It’s coming up on a new year and you don’t want to waste it by just dreaming about someday…make it...

I will chat with you all next week in the new year, 2025, so exciting! We are having some fun things coming next year, like our 100th episode and so much more. Talk soon peeps! Looking to connect with other UnMothered’s? Join the PRIVATE Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/TheUnmotheredCommunity This podcast is on YouTube now! Go watch this episode: https://www.youtube.com/@phylismante...

Hi peeps! We are taking December off, but we will talk to you all soon in 2025! In the meantime, follow us on Instagram and let us know what topics you want to discuss in the new year. Hope you all have a great holiday season! Looking to connect with other UnMothered’s? Join the PRIVATE Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/TheUnmotheredCommunity This podcast is on YouTube now! Go watch...

Holidays are naturally stressful for most of us, but add in a narcissistic mom and it becomes a whole other stressor.  Part of our generational dysfunction is putting up with stressful situations with our moms year after year with holiday get-togethers. This year it can be different if you decide to stop the old habits.  It’s not easy, and I have done it so I know what I speak of. In the...

How many moms raised their kids in the 90’s purity culture?  I sure did, and while I did it with good intentions if I could go back in time, I would have done some things differently. One thing I did do was keep the lines of communication open with my daughters so they knew they could always come and talk to me about anything. Listen in as I discuss this meaty topic that may be an unpopular o...

What do you do when your mother bad-mouths your in-laws and you tell your husband and now she is angry with you?  Well, let's track the reason why she felt the need to talk about them in a cruel manner in the first place. Sometimes we can trust our moms with private information, and sometimes we absolutely can not! In this episode, we will explore this topic from a mom who is dysfunctional an...

Today, we are discussing the “winter arc,” or the last three months of the year, and how we can reset anything that hasn’t worked so far. Just as the leaves change color and fall away, it is also a time for fresh growth. We can do the same with this year's old habits. We can restart and move away from the things that need new growth.  This is the thing with the beginning of a new year. We get...

Michelle S. Lazurek is a multi-genre award-winning author, speaker, pastor's wife, and mother. She is a regular contributor for ibelieve.com, and crosswalk.com and has written for Focus on the Family, Campus Crusade for Christ, and Christianity Today. She also is a literary agent for Wordwise Media Services. When not working, she enjoys sipping a Starbucks latte, collecting 80s memorabilia, and sp...

Do you do things in your marriage because it’s what you saw growing up or are you doing things differently because of seeing it go wrong for your parents?  So many times we inadvertently do the traditional roles like our parents did. Even if those things are unhealthy, how do we know how to do it differently? Will it blow up in our faces if we ask for what we want in this relationship? ...

Something that’s weighed heavy on my mind lately, is the subject of grief or sadness and how most people are so uncomfortable sitting with themselves and others through it. How do we get to where we are not rushed through this journey? We will all experience loss, sadness, and grief in our lifetime. Let’s get better at understanding it and helping others to feel loved and heard when it happens. Lo...

In this episode, we chatted with Jessica Van Roekel about rejection and how it seeps into our childhoods and adult lives. What happens when you start believing the lies that rejection can bring? And what does God want you to feel about rejection? Listen in as we discuss how it can affect friendships, careers, and the lens of how we see others.  Jessica Van Roekel loves the upside-down life of...

This episode is so special to me because Kristi Lowe is on the podcast. She shares her unmothered story with others to help share that you are not alone in your mommy issues.  Kristi is a Christian author and speaker and hosts the Even If Podcast. She knows life rarely goes according to plan, family dynamics are complicated, and mental health is no joke. She lives in Lubbock, Texas with her f...

I was so excited to talk with my new friend Kim Hardy today. This episode dives deep into mental health and how to recognize the incorrect narratives we have for ourselves. She is an author and speaker passionate about giving women hope through Biblical truth. She seeks to inspire, renew, and restore hurting women so they can thrive and live joy-filled lives. Kim loves to read, write, and spend ti...

This week's episode came as an anonymous request through my weekly newsletter, Tuesday Talks With Phylis (link in bio to sign up or head to my website!). Let’s talk about the do’s and don’ts of letting our children be a part of our mothers’ lives and what do you do when your toxic mom wants to be a part of your children’s lives? Can we let them have a relationship with their grandchildren even tho...

We talked with Cheryl Lutz today about being a pastor’s wife, being a recovering people pleaser, and some of her own mother's issues.  Cheryl Lutz is an inspirational speaker, certified biblical counselor, Bible teacher, and podcast host. She is likewise the author of Securely Held: Finding Significance and Security in the Shelter of God’s Embrace, the 2024 1st place Selah award winner in the...

Part of breaking generational dysfunction is to stop allowing the excuse of, “But it’s your family.”  When do we stick by family because it’s family, and when do we have to decide on something better? Over the years I’ve come to a realization that loving families show up and it’s a safe place, not a place that makes you more miserable when you are around them. Knowing that unless THEY (your m...

I had the pleasure to interview my good friend Christine Trimpe on the podcast today! She told her origin story of how this journey of being an author, speaker, and coach began. Her story starts with a mountain she wanted to climb but couldn’t because of her weight. From struggling with debilitating sleep patterns to a multitude of health issues, she knew something needed to change. When she start...

Can the things that were said to you as a child create a negative narrative as you become an adult?  When I was watching the show Bridgerton on Netflix, the plot of the series stood out to me. The son had always held a narrative over his head because of actions or words that were said to him when he was younger. There is no need to have held a spot in your body and mind that has made you make...