The UnMothered Podcast

What do you do when the mother you trusted with your life, who was so supportive and loving towards you, becomes the monster in your life? I recently watched the Netflix documentary called “Unknown Caller,” and this is a tough one. In the episode, I am giving the ending away, so if you haven’t seen it yet, go watch it and then come back to listen to this episode! Let’s talk about how this document...

Do you trust your instincts?  Has your mother or someone else made you feel like your opinions don’t matter? It happens when the enemy sees your beauty and passion and wonderful calling and is trying to kill it.  Don’t let him. You have to trust that God has given you the Holy Spirit that you can trust. Listen in to hear what I have to say about this. Let’s Connect! Follow me on IG: The...

What would you tell your younger self?  Have you ever looked back at your life and said, “Well, that didn’t happen the way I planned it?” I think it’s great to have a plan of what you picture your life to be, but I would recommend learning to pivot a lot. I often tell young women and my own girls that their twenties are their crying years.  Let me take you through the reality of what can...

Where did we go when we needed a mom who was caring, attentive, and present, but what we got was completely different. Our mothers were absent, ignored us, and on some occasions, abandoned us altogether. In today’s episode, we are going to explore a real and honest question: “What did I actually need from my mother that I never received?” We get to the heart of the matter and get honest with ourse...

The kids are leaving. What happens now? Where do you go now if your whole personality has been that of a mommy to these young children? You have to let your children fly. Don’t clip their wings, or they will never know how to survive in the world without you. Make them successful for the world, not just for that moment Just remember that you've done a really good job, and they can be independent,...

How many times have you allowed someone else’s words, comments, or declarations of who you are to stick on you like absolute truth?  Is it time to peel back the layers and see if this is something the enemy likes to use as a weapon and keep you from being the wonderful woman God wants you to be?  He made you to shine!  Let’s dig into this together and help you discover your authenti...

Do you have “Spidey Sense” when it comes to emotions?  Were you the one who always made sure everyone, but especially your mom, was okay? Could you feel the tone of the room as soon as you walked through it?  You might be doing this now in your own family. Maybe it’s time to take care of you and stop worrying about everyone else to the point of your own decline in health, mentally and ph...

What do you do when your mother wants you to take care of her during an illness or while recovering from surgery?  Do you go?  Do you walk away from her demand to help?  The answer is so layered, but one thing is sure: don’t do it out of guilt! Let’s figure out a plan so you don’t regret your choice, no matter what that choice is. Let’s Connect! Follow me on IG: The UnMothered Podca...

We are taking July off to enjoy a much-needed summer vacation! We hope you take some time to relax this summer as well, and we will chat with you back in August. In the meantime, enjoy some of the most downloaded episodes! How do you define the black sheep in the family? Has this label been placed on you because you don’t abide by the dysfunction in your family? There is a difference between being...

We are taking July off to enjoy a much-needed summer vacation! We hope you take some time to relax this summer as well, and we will chat with you back in August. In the meantime, enjoy some of the most downloaded episodes!  What was it like growing up in your home?  In my home, I felt like I was constantly dealing with a teenager or even a child. While at the time I just thought this was ‘no...

We are taking July off to enjoy a much-needed summer vacation! We hope you take some time to relax this summer as well, and we will chat with you back in August. In the meantime, enjoy some of the most downloaded episodes!  This week's episode came as an anonymous request through my weekly newsletter, Tuesday Talks With Phylis (link in bio to sign up or head to my website!). Let’s talk about the...

We are taking July off to enjoy a much-needed summer vacation! We hope you take some time to relax this summer as well, and we will chat with you back in August. In the meantime, enjoy some of the most downloaded episodes! Over the past few years, I’ve been studying the different types of toxic moms. Imagine my surprise when I started studying about toxic parenting and realized my mom was emotiona...

Do you get scared or anxious from ordinary things in your life?  Can it be tied to past traumatic events? Sometimes the things we react to now are a direct result of the trauma we have gone through as children.  We tend to fall into patterns to keep ourselves safe, or so we think. It can keep us prisoners in our own bodies.  Learn how to recognize some reactions and start the proces...

What are the qualities or differences in a healthy Mom versus a toxic Mom?  Big differences in my opinion. Is there such a thing as a perfect mom? I haven’t met one yet, but I know we can always do better than what we have grown up in if we have, in fact, grown up in toxicity.  Let’s talk about what each of these kinds of moms looks like, and see if there is any improvement that needs to...

Let’s bring on my daughter on today’s episode and talk about the good, bad and better of moms!  Bringing on my daughter can help us understand as moms how we can learn from daughters and the next generation.  Listening to them helps us be the best moms we can be. Let us know how you like this episode! Please leave a review or send us a message over on Instagram. We would love to connect...

In this powerful and emotional episode, we explore a topic that's often overlooked in conversations around childhood trauma — what happens when men are the ones who were never mothered? What does it look like when a boy grows into a man still carrying the ache of a mother’s absence, and how does that wound ripple through his career, his relationships, and his future family? Inspired by the shockin...

Can you have a relationship with your toxic mother?  The answer is easier than you think, and it’s totally up to you and no one else. Let’s explore different ways you could possibly have a relationship with your mother if you think it could work. Let’s Connect! Follow me on IG: The UnMothered Podcast https://www.instagram.com/theunmotheredpodcast/ Phylis Mantelli’s IG: https://www.instagram.c...

It’s time for you to create some healthy inner talk and stop believing the lies your moms have told you! In my past episodes, we talked about the different ‘types’ of mothers. Today, we are going to touch upon what we need to do to break away from these narcissistic, controlling, overly enmeshed moms. Let’s Connect! Follow me on IG: The UnMothered Podcast https://www.instagram.com/theunmotheredpod...

Have you ever thought of writing a book? Is a memoir something that God is calling you to? He did for me, and it wasn’t something I ever thought I would do, but has become one of the best things I have ever done. If you are curious, listen to this episode and see if this will confirm what you have been thinking. If you need help getting started, contact me…I’m here to help! Let’s Connect! Follow m...

I had such a great conversation with our guest today! Christine Hoy speaks to women who feel overwhelmed by life's demands and the relentless pursuit of perfection. She had no idea that the emotional and physical burnout she experienced caring for her terminally ill mother would lead to a spiritual transformation in her own life. Answering God’s invitation to a year-long season of rest, Christine...

How did we get to 100 episodes on this podcast already?  Well, come listen and celebrate with me as I walk back down to the beginning of this journey! Thank you so much for being such a great support! I appreciate all my fellow UnMothered's and can't wait to chat with you all for the next 100 episodes! Let’s Connect! Follow me on IG: The UnMothered Podcast https://www.instagram.com/theunmothe...

We have probably all heard the statement, "some moms were just never meant to be moms" but is that true? If you think of the worst toxic mom in your imagination, what would she look like?  Some things I’ve been reading (and a few I’ve experienced) are “ignored, abusive, gaslighting, and mentally ill.”  These kinds of moms are vital to go “no contact” with. It would be for your safety. Th...

Are you responsible for being the mother to your mother?  When you have grown up with someone who is very manipulative and needy, it can in some ways feel good. What you find is that over time, it is exhausting and there is no end to what they take from you emotionally, physically, and mentally.  You should be the child, NOT the mother!  How do you break away from this needy mom who...

Let’s take a deep dive into the traits of a controlling mother.  Did you grow up with a controlling mom and what exactly does that look like? How can it affect your self-esteem, decision-making, and relationships?  While we may not be able to change our mothers, we can change how we react and set boundaries for ourselves. Drawing insights from Mothers Who Can’t Love by Susan Forward, PhD...

Do you always have to be the strong one? Being resilient is a powerful trait, but when it comes to love and relationships, it can also create walls. Many of us learned to be tough because of our upbringing, but real connection requires trust. Don’t let old narratives convince you you can only rely on yourself. Love thrives on trust—both in yourself and the right people. Let’s explore how to find t...