The Thriveology Podcast For Thrive Nation

Have you heard of Kaizen?  It is the principle of continuous improvement. Continuous improvement is a great model for change.  It is based on constant changes toward a better outcome.  No need for sudden upheaval or change (although that is sometimes necessary).  Instead, course corrections are made along the way, nudging something toward improvement. That "something"?  It might be a product (like...

Did you know that it is common to find a lost person with a broken compass?  No, they are not lost because their compass was broken.  They broke their compass because they didn't believe the compass.  They believed they were somewhere other than where the compass said.  And many times, they decided that the map they were using was also wrong... and they were right. Survival experts refer to this a...

Let's just assume that you have decided to forgive other people.  You do it (maybe even following my 6 step process).  Things are going well.  You are getting unstuck. And then... snap!  You are pulled back, stuck.  Feeling bad. But this time, feeling bad about yourself -- your actions, your words, your inactions, or silence. You know that voice?  The one that starts with "How could you....?"  It...

I've noticed that many times, when someone is stuck, it is because they have something that keeps hanging on to them, dragging them down.  They have something they need to release... someone they need to forgive. And when I note this, I often get a knee-jerk answer of "how dare you tell me to forgive! I have been hurt! That person does not deserve to be forgiven." To which I note that this has not...

Have you noticed how we talk about time and money the same way?  You can spend time/money, waste time/money, or save time/money.  But never confuse the two. Money... we can always make more.  Time... it is passing moment by moment, day by day, not to be recaptured or held. We all have the same 24 hour days live.  The question is whether you feel like you have some time to "spend" as you want (Time...

Have you ever wanted something... just knowing that if you had it, you would be... happy? And if you got it, did you find yourself happier?  Not just for a few moments or days, but long-term? Sometimes, the "buyer's remorse" sets in right after the purchase, with you realizing that no, that shiny new object didn't make you happier (and may have even become an instant burden), and no, happiness did...

My coaching client was wanting to thrive.  He told me he was constantly studying about self-growth.  But he wanted to really transform his life.  And, he told me, so much of what he was reading was, to quote him, "woo-woo stuff."  He used that term as a reference to ideas he thought were "out there." So first, let me just say, what is "out there" to one person is commonplace and sensible to anothe...

It's a trap.  And we all fall into it. Sadly, we set it up on ourselves, then step right into it. WHACK!  We are stuck... waiting.  And that's the trap -- the wait.  Life can't begin until.... What's the trap?  The "When/Then Trap."  You know, that time when you say, "When ____ happens, then I will ______."  When you finally get that great job, get that perfect spouse, make $$'s, win the lottery,...

It seems to be a specialty of mine... getting people UN-stuck.  Which means I spend a fair amount of time noting what gets people stuck in the first place.  Makes sense, right?  If you want to get un-stuck, you need to know why you got stuck. There are some clear reasons why people get stuck.  For example, when you violate one of the 16 Immutable Laws Of Living I highlight in my latest book, you w...

Have you noticed how many books there are in the bookstore on how to be happy? Which raises the question on why, in a recent poll, only 1/3rd of Americans claimed to be happy. We have fallen into the "happiness trap," chasing after happiness as if that is the goal of life. It isn't. Over the past few weeks, I have been doing lots of interviews in lots of places about my new book, The Immutable Law...

A couple of episodes back, I discussed some lessons I have learned in my less-than-half a year in jiu jitsu.  One of my lessons was about "egoless learning."  Several people asked what I meant by my ego being involved.  And what's wrong with that... the ego? Well, the ego tends to trip us up, throughout our lives.  Why?  Because our ego keeps us focused on how we appear, what others think of us, w...

We always start at survival.  You have to survive to do anything else.  Surviving is based in dealing with scarcity and threats. Sometimes, people get stuck in survival mode... whether it is necessary or not.  For most people, survival mode is less a necessity and more a habit. Then, we live.  Living is about finding comfort.  People to support you, work to do, things to enjoy.  And for many peopl...

Let me be clear:  I can claim NO expertise in jiu jitsu.  I have only been involved since January.  So, what can I possibily tell you about jiu jitsu after just 6 months of practice? Nothing. But I CAN tell you some lessons I have learned from those 6 months.  Not about jiu jitsu, but about living, about starting new things, and about learning. This is not my first foray into the martial arts.  It...

Forgiving is an important skill.  When we forgive people for hurts and slights in the past, we get to free ourselves from those events. (That skill is so important that I wrote a book about the process I created.  That book comes out in October.) But what about forgiving yourself? Why would you need to do that? Because we all do thing, say things, fail to do and say things, that we regret. And tho...

Schools have based their teaching model on it.  Little league sports have revamped their approach on it.  Parenting has changed to help it. What is IT? Self-esteem. Which is a great concept, at least in the way Nathanial Branden first proposed it.  Not so much in the way we have come to see it as "feeling good about yourself."  Yep, Branden did want people to feel good about themselves, but not as...

We all want confidence -- SELF-confidence.  We want to be confident before we act.  In other words, I want to feel confident of myself before I move toward something. Or maybe that's just me!  :-) But I think that comes at it from the wrong direction.  FEAR seems to be between us and action.  Mostly because of the order we have for action: Confidence ==> Action ==> Success. But instead, we have: F...

Ancient Stoics and Latin Christians believed that every day we should "memento mori," we should remember our death.  This practice was not to contemplate how you might die, but that you will die.  As will I.  And everyone else. Which is what makes life so precious.  And which is what gives value and power to the choices we make in how to live this day.  Not how we lived yesterday or last year, nor...

Some people feel that they are at the whims of the world, unable to make a difference in their own lives.  (They often fall into blame and helplessness.) Other people believe that they are fully in charge, their lives entirely in their control. (Ironically, they also often fall into blame -- self-blame -- and frustration.) The fact is, life is a combination of things that happen and what you do ab...

It was interesting to see how much my client seemed to relish her self-diagnosed "issue" when she smilingly told me, "I'm a bit of a control freak. I just want things my way.  Mostly because I know how they should be." So, I asked that tough question, "How is that working out for you?" The smile turned to tears as she told me how much pushback she was getting from people.  "They just don't know be...

"Why don't they treat me the way I want to be treated?", my client asked me. So, I asked, "Have you taught them how to treat you?" The silence let me know.  But after a pause, my client said, "I guess it never crossed my mind I needed to do that." The fact is that people do not know how we want to be treated... unless we are clear about how we are to be treated.  Otherwise, we get treated the way...

Have you ever had that moment when you were doing something or saying something, and there was that other voice in your head... the one questioning why?  Maybe you already knew you were acting in a way you would not want to, or perhaps you were saying something you knew would be hurtful.  But you found yourself doing or saying it anyway.... Your Higher Self was talking.  Were you listening? In thi...

Have you ever noticed how many times, we get dragged into the past and the pain, even when those hurtful times are over?  Those remnants of the events can keep us stuck, frozen in the hurt and pain. Unless we forgive. That's a big word, I know.  One that is packed with meaning... and not always helpful meanings. In another podcast, I highlight my process for actually forgiving.  It is important en...

Losses are painful.  No way around it.  They are also normal. Or to say it differently, loss is a normal part of life.  Not an anomalie.  Part of being alive. And loss leads to grief.  That is our natural reaction to any loss.  Big grief or small grief -- that is simply how we process a loss, so that we can re-weave life and continue. Sometimes, we get caught up in the "unfairness" of a loss, and...

Time is an interesting thing, isn't it?  How often do we keep reliving the past, and imagining the future?  Unfortunately, when we are caught in the past and the future, the present suffers. As I have watched myself and others, I have noticed the tendency we have in trying to change what has happened.  We try to find some way to re-do what has already been done.  We want to find a revisable past....

Last week, we started in a new series about my own Rules for Living.  These are the rules I try to follow in my efforts to live a thriving life. This week, we head into rule #2:  Be Present In The Present. These days, the buzzword is "mindfulness."  In reality, our minds tend to be much too full.  And mindfulness is really about being present -- really being in the experience of this moment. But h...