The Thriveology Podcast For Thrive Nation

So far, life has a 100% mortality rate.  We are not getting out of this alive!  You and I, and everyone we know, will face the inevitable moment of losing loved ones, and facing our own death. And yet, we live in a culture that would rather NOT look at this reality.  Would rather NOT pay attention to this fact.  Would rather NOT think about those end-of-life issues... at least until we are forced...

Have you heard of Kaizen?  It is the principle of continuous improvement. Continuous improvement is a great model for change.  It is based on constant changes toward a better outcome.  No need for sudden upheaval or change (although that is sometimes necessary).  Instead, course corrections are made along the way, nudging something toward improvement. That "something"?  It might be a product (like...

Forgiving is an important skill.  When we forgive people for hurts and slights in the past, we get to free ourselves from those events. (That skill is so important that I wrote a book about the process I created.  That book is The Forgive Process.) But what about forgiving yourself? Why would you need to do that? Because we all do thing, say things, fail to do and say things, that we regret. And t...

"You can't. . . ."  "I can't. . . ."  That pretty much ends the conversation. Which is unfortunate.  History is littered with people doing the very things someone else said, "You can't do that."  Turns out, you can. And many times, we do the same things to ourselves.  We start tell ourselves, "I can't," and then believe it.  We know we can't do it.  We just told ourselves we can't. In reality, the...

Those thoughts, they get us into trouble, don't they? We keep looking for that thing that will make us happy. We think we know. We think that thing, that person, that place, that paycheck, position, etc., etc., will finally do it. Until we get it, get there, have that relationship, or whatever... only to find that it didn't quite work. Oh, sure, we might be happy for a brief time. But not the way...

Life has a way of knocking us down.  Every single person.  Life hits hard sometimes, and softer sometimes.  But life will knock us down.  Not once.  Not twice.  But many times. Many people get stuck trying to figure out what it means.  I am more focused on what we do. How do we keep moving forward?  How do we find our balance again?  How do we face another day? But there it is, right there.  There...

In recent days, I have been with people in the middle of horrific losses.  Inevitably, someone steps up  and in an attempt to comfort, says, "Everything happens for a reason." That comment is rarely comforting in the painful moments. But deeper than that, is it even true? Many people default to this as a reaction to something that happens and is outside of our capacity to understand. Sometimes, we...

2020.   ¯\_(?)_/¯  Am I right?  And we just keep stretching on into 2021.  The pandemic isn't over, the virus isn't gone.  And here we still are. Thriving? Stuck? Research psychologist, Carol Dweck, says that there are two mindsets we can have:  fixed and growth. In the fixed mindset, we think we are just the way we are.  Our personalities and skills are just a part of who we are.  "A natural athl...

Anyone who tells you that you can go through life without getting hurt and feeling pain is either lying or hiding. Life is rough-and-tumble.  Pain is unavoidable. But there is a type of pain that we can leave behind.  That is more a result of our own thinking than anything external, any injury either physical or emotional. Call it "Dirty Pain."  Which is distinguished from "Clean Pain."  Clean pai...

We all have times in life where we just feel... stuck... in a rut.  Life on repeat.  Another day, another week, another month, another year clicks by, same ol' same ol'. That is the definition of a rut, just moving forward on a path of least resistance, unable to change direction or shift focus.  A rut. For many, this pandemic has been one big rut, stuck going forward, time passing by but little c...

At the beginning of my career, I was a hospital chaplain.  One of my tasks was to help people accept what was going on... to accept the diagnosis, the outcome of an accident or tragedy, to accept the changes.  Interestingly, many times, it seemed that those wanting the person to "accept" were really looking for resignation.  Kind of giving up. I think our understanding of acceptance has expanded s...

Another year has passed.  I added a year to when I answer, "How old are you?"  Well, at least in theory.  I am an unreliable narrator for reporting my age.  By accident.  But on a repeated basis. That said, as I recorded this episode of the podcast, and write these words, I am celebrating 55 trips around the sun (and I complain I don't get to travel much!). I'm not sure about claiming wisdom, but...

What a year!  It was one year ago this week that I was on my last business trip.  I was at an event with my publisher.  Already, we knew COVID was out, and knew it was gaining steam.  Other countries had already gone into lockdown... and the US was on the precipice. While I was away, my wife and I were coordinating with our adult children, trying to make sure we could get them to our home before t...

One day, I was watching some videos (you know how that rabbit hole works) that led me to a video on this interesting sport.  I love water sports, and am frequently daydreaming this time of year about being in warm water. I have no idea how that led to this video, but it was a team playing this weird underwater game of hockey/ultimate frisbee/survival thing.  It was the Underwater Torpedo League. U...

It is so easy to get pulled into threats and dangers, mishaps and mistakes.  It is wired into our brain to have a focus on the negative.  Which is too bad.  That means we are more likely to miss the good moments, the highlights of life, in favor of the down moments.  We clearly see the negative, but can miss the positive. Unless, of course, we nurture a focus on the positive.  Unless we look for t...

When we have some fear, it seems to the person having that fear, that the fear makes sense.  If you have a fear, it would seem that fear is real and is valid.  But often -- if not most of the time -- that fear is at least overblown.  Sure, there are times when a fear is valid. But since our system is designed to over-fear, we suffer fears that are neither logical nor valid.  Since some fears are l...

Three years ago, at the age of 51, I walked into the jiu jitsu gym.  I wasn't returning to some skill I learned when I was younger.  I was starting fresh.  As a beginner.  To be honest, I had some idea about what jiu jitsu involved... but I had no idea on how to participate. I was a beginner! The fact is, every accomplished person in every single field started the same way.  As a beginner.  It is...

How does a young man from the projects end up playing table tennis in North Korea... on a diplomacy mission? How he ended up there is not much different than how Wally Green ended up in Germany, becoming a world-class ping pong player, after leaving his gang past behind. I "met" Wally on a Zoom call with lots of others and knew I needed to have him on Thriveology.  I wanted to talk with him becaus...

Just for transparencey, I am an introvert.  And for much of my life, I found that frustrating when around others.  I felt like a deer in headlights.  How do I start a conversation?  How do I avoid not going way too deep with a conversation?  And working a room?  Makes me sweat, just to think about that. But is there any advantage to the introvert?  Is there a place where introversion can be a gift...

"So, I guess it is pretty tough to thrive these days, isn't it?" a friend remarked.  He was assuming that, in order to thrive, life must be going well.  Everything in place, and everything humming along. Sure, those are nice days.  And yes, they represent easier moments.  But thriving is not just about having things go well.  It is possible to thrive, in spite of what life is throwing your way. Or...

The world seems to be careening forward these days.  It can feel like we are just holding on for dear life. But are we? Sure, there are events that we can't stop or prevent.  Weather comes.  Accidents happen.  Others make choices that impact us.... Wait.  Back up there.  Did you see that?  Others are making choices.  And so can we.  Not a choice on whether or not something happens.  But a choice o...

Wow!  What a year it has been!  And many people have asked how I can possibly speak about thriving when it just feels like we are surviving. But that is the point!  Thriving is not what we learn when everything is going well, when life is just humming along.  We learn to thrive when we take on the challenge of the tough stuff!  When we decide that surviving is not enough.  Growing and changing, ch...

And just like that, the Holiday season is upon us! All the hustle and bustle. All the events. All the demands… in the midst of a time that you want to be enjoyable, meaningful, and manageable! Why the stress? In this week’s Thriveology Podcast, I discuss the causes of holiday stress. But more importantly, I cover the ways to cope with holiday stress. Don’t let stress rob you of the deeper meanings...

I always find it helpful to have some "rules" to live by.  Short statements that help keep me pointed in the right direction, ready to handle the challenges of life. And let's be honest:  challenges are an unavoidable part of life.  Those who tell you that having struggles, challenges, or illnesses is an indication that you are doing something wrong?  They are wrong and misguided.  Life is going t...

Have you ever arrived at that spot in life...the place you were pushing to be...only to look around and realize it was not what you thought it would be?  In fact, it isn't even what you want? Maybe that dream job, relationship, or status, really wasn't the dream, after all.  Even if you worked hard to get there.  Even if you sacrificed to get there. Do you stay?  Or do you step back and undo? Mark...