The Thriveology Podcast For Thrive Nation

Over the past 7 episodes, we have been building our Thrive Code.  The code to follow that allows us to thrive, and also the code that runs your system, like computer code.  And we are closing in on the finish line! We bring the series to an end in this episode. The final piece of the Thrive Code is all about how we feel about others.  Do we see others as “other” or as connected to us?  Do we use c...

Did you ever have one of those Magic 8-Balls when you were growing up?  I never had one, but a friend down the street did.  You were supposed to ask Yes/No questions of the ball, then turn it over and a die would float to the surface, revealing your answer. For whatever reason, we could spend lots of time asking a question, shaking and flipping the 8-Ball, and study our answer.  Of course, if we d...

As we continue exploring your thrive code, the next topic is… are you curious? OK, that is actually the topic:  being curious. I’ve come to regard curiosity as one of the main paths to thriving.  In fact, in the absence of curiosity, we will have a hard time thriving. All learning comes from curiosity. All change comes from curiosity. New experiences come from curiosity. And growth comes from curi...

I must admit, I have said it myself, “I am just not creative.” But that isn’t true. Not for me, and not for you. Perhaps you had some art teacher tell you that at one point. Or perhaps you were looking at the creative work of someone else. And perhaps you aren’t creative in that particular medium (although it may just be you haven’t put effort into that medium). But you ARE creative. And so am I....

When I talk about Thriveology, many people say, “Oh, that is more of that ‘being happy’ stuff, isn’t it?" My response:  No. Well, not just that.  Sure, being happy is fine.  No need to avoid being happy! But that is only one dimension of life. It IS the dimension of life that hedonism celebrates and pursues.  If it feels good, do it.  Enjoy life.  Have a good time.  Seek out pleasure and avoid pai...

It’s in our DNA.  We have a need to connect with others, to have connections and relationships.  We express that in close relationships and larger groups. And unfortunately, lately, we have often allowed tribalism into our connections.  When we slip into our tribal thinking, we work from a place of exclusion.  This leads to a greater illusion of connection.  In reality, that connection is based in...

Many people make the Control Error — they attempt to control what they cannot control, while also failing to control what they can. Why? Because they don’t know what they can’t control and they don’t know what they can control. Humans have a desire to feel like they are “in control” of their lives. Most people hate feeling out of control. And yet, by making the Control Error, they constantly feel...

Life is a challenge, isn’t it? I don’t think I am saying anything that is a surprise these days. We’ve been dealing with a pandemic now for over 2 years. For many people, that has led to many challenges throughout life. Which brings me to my word for 2022. Each year, my family chooses one word to live into for the year. And this year, my word is Challenge. Not just to acknowledge the challenge of...

And just like that, the Holiday season is upon us! All the hustle and bustle. All the events. All the demands… in the midst of a time that you want to be enjoyable, meaningful, and manageable! Why the stress? In a repeat of last year’s podcast (since we still have that holiday stress!), I discuss the causes of holiday stress. But more importantly, I cover the ways to cope with holiday stress. Don’...

It's a trap.  And we all fall into it. Sadly, we set it up on ourselves, then step right into it. WHACK!  We are stuck... waiting.  And that's the trap -- the wait.  Life can't begin until.... What's the trap?  The "When/Then Trap."  You know, that time when you say, "When ____ happens, then I will ______."  When you finally get that great job, get that perfect spouse, make $$'s, win the lottery,...

I bet you hear it as much as I do.  You may even say it.  "I'm so stressed!"  The malady of the modern age.  Stressed out, exhausted, and frustrated. But what IS stress? As much as we toss that term around, sometimes almost as a badge of honor, you may not think about what that term is REALLY about. These days, I tend to push my body, physically.  I take a good long walk in the morning, usually do...

If you are in the States, we are on the cusp of the Holiday season, kicking off with Thanksgiving in just a few days. For me, the Holidays throughout the year are moments to step into gratitude.  Not just in a little "thank you for that gift," but in a gratitude for being alive.  For being here.  For experiencing life. Each morning, while walking the neighborhood with my dogs, Ziggy and Clementine...

"How did I end up here?," my client asked.  He told me that for so long, he thought he was headed in the right direction.  Now, he thinks maybe it was the entirely wrong direction. I asked him, "Did you course correct along the way?"  He looked at me rather quizzically.  So, I elaborated, "If you are sailing, you point the boat toward some object in the distance, in the direction you want to sail....

Have you seen this picture in your FB feed or on Twitter?  It crossed my path a number of times. The first time I saw it, I was immediately uncomfortable.  But it took a little time for me to be clear on why. There is a point to it:  just because you apologize doesn't mean everything is okay. I like that point. But I worry about going the other way:  if someone hurts you, you are shattered.  With...

A couple of episodes back, I discussed some lessons I have learned in my less-than-half a year in jiu jitsu.  One of my lessons was about "egoless learning."  Several people asked what I meant by my ego being involved.  And what's wrong with that... the ego? Well, the ego tends to trip us up, throughout our lives.  Why?  Because our ego keeps us focused on how we appear, what others think of us, w...

Have you ever wanted something... just knowing that if you had it, you would be... happy? And if you got it, did you find yourself happier?  Not just for a few moments or days, but long-term? Sometimes, the "buyer's remorse" sets in right after the purchase, with you realizing that no, that shiny new object didn't make you happier (and may have even become an instant burden), and no, happiness did...

We all want confidence -- SELF-confidence.  We want to be confident before we act.  In other words, I want to feel confident of myself before I move toward something. Or maybe that's just me!  :-) But I think that comes at it from the wrong direction.  FEAR seems to be between us and action.  Mostly because of the order we have for action: Confidence ==> Action ==> Success. But instead, we have: F...

It seems to be a specialty of mine... getting people UN-stuck.  Which means I spend a fair amount of time noting what gets people stuck in the first place.  Makes sense, right?  If you want to get un-stuck, you need to know why you got stuck. There are some clear reasons why people get stuck.  For example, when you violate one of the 16 Immutable Laws Of Living I highlight in my latest book, you w...

My coaching client was wanting to thrive.  He told me he was constantly studying about self-growth.  But he wanted to really transform his life.  And, he told me, so much of what he was reading was, to quote him, "woo-woo stuff."  He used that term as a reference to ideas he thought were "out there." So first, let me just say, what is "out there" to one person is commonplace and sensible to anothe...

Sometimes, success comes from being at the right place at the right time.  Sometimes, tragedy comes from being at the wrong place at the wrong time.  But what happens when you are at the right place at the wrong time? For Kushal  Choksi, it saved his life.  It was September 11, 2001.  Kushal was running late, and rushing to get to a meeting in the World Trade Towers.  He was racing through the mez...

I don't know anyone who really likes criticism.  Well, at least receiving criticism.  I do know some people who seem to relish dishing out criticism!  You probably know some, too. But criticism can be important feedback.  And feedback can help us to make changes in ourselves and our habits.  They can help us change harmful or unhelpful parts of our lives into more productive and healthy parts. Whi...

Blame is rampant in today's world.  We all quickly point the finger at someone/something else, proclaiming, "It's not my fault!" Interestingly, I also notice how rampant it is for people to take the credit for successes. They/we claim credit for what goes right but refuse blame for anything that goes wrong. We live in a "culture of blame." Which is what often keeps us from growing.  From changing....

Are you up for a challenge? In the last episode of my podcast, I discussed how to hold on when life is tough.  That's when life is challenging you. But what about when life isn't so challenging... where life is copacetic?  Just cruising. It's my observation that we work hard to keep life flat.  We work hard to keep things smooth.  Cold out?  Turn on the heater.  Hot out?  Turn on the A/C.  Keep th...

You apologize.  Now what? Are you finished?  Is it now up to the person to whom you apologized? Nope.  That is only one part of the process. Understand that apologies, forgiving, reconciliation, and trust are all separate functions.  Each is tied to the other, but independent.  Forgiving does not require an apology.  An apology does not mandate forgiveness.  You can apologize or forgive, and still...

I don't know about you, but I was raised around competition.  Not so much from my parents, but from culture.  In school, you compete in all sorts of tasks... trying to prove how smart, how good, how talented, how athletic, how whatever you are... compared to the others. It doesn't stop there, but keeps on going.  Win or lose.  That's all that matters.  Well, winning.  That's what matters. Remember...