The Susan Winter Show

Margaret writes, “Hi Susan, Could you do a video on how to get over someone who chooses another person over you?  I keep finding myself comparing myself to the woman he chose. He said she challenges him and I don't, so I continually see myself as less than her. Thank you!”

Evelyn writes: “Hi Susan, I find your way of conducting yourself in videos is so classy! Thanks for all your insights and tips! I am a 45 year-old woman with a good education and career. One thing that keeps frustrating me is that in the online dating platform; I'm ONLY approached by men who are 15+ older. And NO men around my age whom I sent greetings to ever responded me. Why and what to do? Tha...

Scott writes, “Hi Susan- I watch all of your videos on YouTube.  Thank you.  My q: being a guy in the mid-life dating pool is not just difficult, it's expensive. I'm getting really tired of showing up for a first date and she orders drinks and food and then just looks away when the bill comes. We're made to feel cheap about paying by the women who refuse to pay anything. Your thoughts?”

Georgina writes: “I would love to get your thoughts on the best way to ask someone why his (or her) marriage or long term relationship ended without sounding intrusive. It seems each time I date a divorced guy, I question whether I'm coming across true “run for your life” red flags in his character, or if he's just triggered, and I need to be a bit more patient, understanding and direct in my comm...

Did they ever love me? Was it ever real? These are the questions we ask ourselves when we've been dumped, cheated on, lied to, abandoned, used, played, and conned.  We begin to fear that we made it all up in our minds. How will we ever know? Here's the answer.

Paul writes, “Hello Susan. For most of my life I have been struggling to choose the right partner for me. There is usually this dilemma for me; to choose either a man to whom I am sexually attracted but have very little in common with, or a man who I feel deeply connected with but doesn't ignite sexual desire in me (which I guess is an upgraded version of a friend). How should one proceed in this...

Marie writes, “Dear Susan,Can you make a video about Unrequited Love or How to Handle Rejection after You Confessed your Affection to someone who does not feel the same? Hugs from Geneva, Switzerland”.

Why would someone urge you forward into caring for them, give you green lights, and connect so readily… then suddenly bail? Lines like  ‘I'm not ready,' or ‘I don't want a relationship right now' seem so incongruous with their former actions. Here's why they bailed and what you can do about it.

Marie writes, “My question might be elementary, but when should a partner say, "I love you"? I am a woman in my 30s who has been dating a man in his 40s for 10 months. The relationship has been thoughtful, mature, and (dare I say) loving, but he has yet to say, "I love you." I have been waiting for him to say this phrase first, but am I being old-fashioned or ridiculous by waiting? Many thanks for...

Baffled as to why they left? Wondering if they'll come back? Learn why the energetic act of staying frozen as you wait and hope for your partner's return is the very thing that's acting as a repellant.

Candice writes, “Hi Susan,I'm a HUGE fan of yours and I think you hit the nail on the head every time you dole out advice.  My question has to do with divorce. I am going through a divorce now and I would love some advice on getting through the grieving process, how to stop questioning whether or not you made the right decision and the best way to put yourself back out on the dating scene again. T...

Julie writes, “Dear Susan, how can you tell if you and your partner are on the same page regarding the future if your partner is a more reticent, cautious person? I know that my partner loves me a lot, is kind and consistent. However, unlike me, who would love to dive straight in to a life together, he is taking things much more slowly and warily. I sometimes take this for a lack of commitment. Th...

Alika writes, “Hey Susan, I'm a big fan of yours! My question is about taking chances. Is it a good idea to "shoot your shot" as Millennial's often say? I find myself wanting to interact with people I see at school or the gym, or even messaging them on social media, but I don't have the guts for it. Even further, I can't tell if I'm being reasonable talking myself down, or if that feeling is actua...

Are you tired of watching videos and reading articles about narcissists? Perhaps you're taking the right approach but applying it to the wrong person. Instead of trying to change the narcissist, why not change your attitude about them? This is the one thing they desperately need from you, and the only thing over which you have complete control.

Just when you thought you'd handled your heartache, it comes raging to the surface. A delayed response to a painful event or situation can put us into a tailspin. Here's how to handle that emotional onslaught and move through the process of healing.

Dominik writes, “Hi Susan, I‘ve watched all of your videos and they are so helpful, thank you! Before I found you, I used to follow coaches that said things like “Don't give compliments, otherwise it will make you look anxious, ” etc., but after I found you I realized that with those rules one cannot find love. One can only find love if he shows up. But what do you do if you show up but the other...

Do you feel like you're losing faith in finding love? Here's the good news. Celebrities are leading the new trend towards commitment by pulling the trigger on engagement. What does that mean for you? That the hookup culture is becoming passé as partnership gains momentum.

The first phase of any growth process is the realization that a change must be made. That's a good thing. While recalibrating to our new and improved selves, we can temporarily look worse (even though we're getting better). Here's how to handle this uncomfortable transition while dating and mating.

Some partners need to create a false reality in their minds so that they can play the victim. By repeating and embellishing ‘alternative facts,' you're always at fault. Here's the best way to stop this dating game, and your need to defend yourself against false accusations.

Joey writes, “Dear Susan, thanks — the way you advocate authenticity is so refreshing. You've talked about people having you in reserve/place card, and how you should get up and move on. My question is what is the best way to do this? How much of a conversation should there be? I've been seeing a guy I really like for a while and would like more but I feel that I'm stuck as an option not a priorit...

Debbie writes, “Could you perhaps do a video on how to handle it when your partner doesn't give you the attention you need, whether it's at the start of a new relationship or in a longer-term relationship. I.e. how do you speak to them about it without seeming clingy and how do you handle your own emotions of needing that much attention from them. Thank you.”

R Baker writes, “Brilliant video, and Nikka was an adorable addition. Can't wait to see the ‘why did you pick someone who was so difficult?' video, Susan! I've realised that, age 40, if all my boyfriends have been disappointments then the basic common denominator is me. Not them. I really want to change who I gravitate towards. Pretty much guaranteed - if I find myself liking someone, I reckon I s...

Viewer Katia writes, “Hi Susan, I love your videos! You are helping me to find my true self and heal after a breakup. My question is about tolerating differences in a relationship. How do you know when something is a deal breaker versus something that you should compromise on? I'm not sure if I was focusing on the bad or if that one trait was intolerable for me. Thank you!”

Laura writes, “Your videos are true pearls of wisdom. Could you talk about sensible, practical tips for ladies to avoid or handle persistent or unwanted attention?  Any red flags you have experienced and how to deal with pushiness etc. Much love, Laura”

You may be savvy on decoding hot and cold patterns in dating, but narcissists play a whole different game. Learn how to insulate your heart from needless pain and avoid the emotional tension by being one step ahead of your narcissist.