The Sober Connection

Do you drink because you enjoy alcohol? Or because you just need a break? For many people, alcohol isn't really about the alcohol anymore. It's about relief. It's the exhale at the end of a long day. The reward after carrying everyone else's needs. The thing that helps you switch off when your brain won't stop spinning. In this episode, I'm exploring what I call &quot...

Most sobriety stories are told with the benefit of hindsight. But what about the messy middle? The early days when you're still figuring things out, navigating cravings, questioning yourself, and learning how to live without alcohol. In this episode, I'm joined by Matt, who is approaching two months alcohol-free. We talk openly about his drinking journey, what led him to stop, the challe...

Why does moderation feel so hard? If you've ever made rules around drinking... Only on weekends. Only two glasses. No drinking at home. I'll start again on Monday. ...and found yourself back in the same cycle, this episode is for you. In this episode, I'm exploring why moderation can feel so exhausting. Not because you're failing, but because of the constant mental energy it re...

This week’s episode is a really special one. Today I’m joined by an anonymous guest who recently celebrated six months alcohol-free, including reaching five months sober on her birthday, a milestone that once felt impossible to her. A few months ago, she reached out to me for coaching because she was exhausted by the constant mental battle with alcohol… the moderation attempts, the overthinking, t...

This week on The Sober Connection, I'm talking about evenings, because for so many people, that’s where the real battle with alcohol actually happens. The 5pm autopilot. “I deserve this.” The exhausting cycle of trying to hold it together all day… then reaching for a drink to finally switch off. In this episode, I unpack: – why evenings feel so hard – what’s actually happening in your nervous...

This week on The Sober Connection, I’m joined by musician Andre Manella for a really honest conversation about sobriety, touring, creativity, and navigating the music industry without alcohol. Originally from Switzerland and now based in New Zealand, Andre has spent more than 20 years performing across Europe and NZ, playing over 2000 shows throughout his career. We talk about the drinking culture...

In this episode, I'm talking about the “in-between” phase of changing your relationship with alcohol - the part nobody really warns you about. That space where drinking no longer feels good… but not drinking still feels uncomfortable too. I share my own experience of the stop-start cycle, why so many people relapse around the 40–50 day mark, and the psychology behind why our brains fight chan...

In this episode, I’m joined by Jodi Clark, founder of Sober Flourish, who shares her journey to becoming alcohol-free. On the surface, everything looked fine - Jodi was a busy mum, successful, holding it all together. But behind the scenes, alcohol was taking up more space than she realised. We talk about:  what her drinking actually looked like  the small moments that started to shift things  the...

This episode is for you if you’ve ever thought… “Why do I keep going back to drinking when I know it’s not working anymore?” Because this isn’t about willpower or discipline. There’s a reason this keeps happening. Once you understand it, things start to make a lot more sense. In this episode, I share: – why drinking can feel automatic – how emotional triggers and habit loops keep you stuck – and w...

In this episode, I'm joined by Paddy Gower for a really honest conversation about drinking, culture, and what actually drives change. We talk about how easy it is for drinking to feel “normal”, especially in New Zealand, and why that can make it so hard to recognise when something isn’t quite right. Paddy shares his experience of what shifted things for him, including the moment someone close...

There’s a moment that doesn’t get talked about enough - the one when everything still looks fine on the outside but deep down, you know something isn’t working anymore. In this episode, I’m talking about that quiet turning point. The awareness that your drinking isn’t quite where you want it to be, even if it doesn’t look like a “problem” from the outside. If you’ve ever found yourself stuck in th...

In today’s episode, I am joined by Ryan — also known as The Sober Kiwi — to talk about his journey with alcohol, what led him to make a change, and what life looks like on the other side. What I love about this conversation is how real and grounded it is. There’s no big dramatic story here — just honest reflections on mindset, habits, and the quiet shifts that can completely change the direction o...

If you feel like you’re constantly starting over when it comes to drinking… you’re not alone. Taking a break. Cutting back. Telling yourself “this time will be different.” And for a while, it works… until it doesn’t. In this episode, Abi talks about why that keeps happening — and why starting again isn’t actually the problem. After recently losing her Instagram accounts and being forced to rebuild...

In this episode, I sat down with Ian Fee, who lived the “work hard, play harder” lifestyle while building his business… until it caught up with him. What followed wasn’t just about getting sober - Ian rebuilt his life, his relationships, and his sense of purpose from the ground up. This is a really honest conversation about: high-functioning drinking business culture & alcohol the moment thing...

Guilt and regret don’t always disappear when you stop drinking. In fact, for many people, sobriety brings clarity — and with it, memories, shame, and self-judgement that can feel hard to shake. In this episode, Abi explores why guilt lingers, the difference between healthy responsibility and toxic shame, and how self-forgiveness becomes a crucial part of moving forward. She shares a personal refle...

In this episode of The Sober Connection, host Abi King speaks with recovery advocate Jimmy Thistle, who shares his journey of overcoming alcoholism.  From his early experiences with drinking in Scotland to the consequences of his addiction, including lost relationships and jobs, Jimmy recounts the pivotal moments that led him to seek help. He discusses his time in rehab during the COVID-19 pandemi...

If you’ve stopped drinking and your sleep feels worse instead of better, you’re not alone — and nothing has gone wrong. In this episode, Abi unpacks why early sobriety often comes with broken sleep, vivid dreams, and early-morning wake-ups, and why this phase is a normal part of recovery, not a sign of failure. You’ll learn: How alcohol sedates rather than restores sleep Why REM sleep disruption a...

Listener note: This episode includes a short, non-graphic mention of suicide within a broader discussion. If this is a sensitive topic for you, please listen in a way that feels supportive. In this episode of The Sober Connection, host Abi King engages in a candid conversation with Jeremy Maxwell, a co-owner of a CrossFit gym and a person in recovery from addiction.  Jeremy shares his journey from...

In this episode of The Sober Connection, Abi discusses the transformative journey from coping with sobriety to experiencing genuine joy.  She emphasises the importance of recognising the emotional stages of sobriety, particularly during the hectic festive season, and offers practical steps to intentionally create joy in one's life.  Through personal anecdotes and scientific insights, Abi illu...

**** Please note - this episode contains open & honest conversations around sexual trauma and domestic abuse. There are resources at the bottom of these show notes for anyone that may need them. In this episode of The Sober Connection, host Abi King speaks with Danielle Naborisi, who quit drinking at the age of 19. They discuss the reasons behind Danielle's decision, the impact of peer pr...

Why is it so hard to answer the simple question, “Why aren’t you drinking?” In this episode, Abi breaks down one of the most uncomfortable parts of early sobriety — navigating other people’s reactions. She shares how her own responses evolved over time, why we tend to over-explain, and what this moment often reveals about boundaries, people-pleasing, and self-trust. You’ll learn how to hold your g...

In this episode, Abi King sits down with David Millar — who went from relapsing through his teens to becoming a neurosurgery student and ultra-marathoner — to unpack what sobriety can make possible when you stop getting in your own way. David opens up about early recovery, the reality of staying sober on a college campus, the mindset shifts that changed everything, and the unexpected doors sobriet...

In this episode of The Sober Connection, Abi delves into the intricate relationship between dopamine and alcohol, explaining how the anticipation of drinking creates a powerful dopamine loop that can lead to dependence.  She discusses the emotional flatness often experienced in early sobriety and emphasises the importance of understanding the brain's reward system.  Abi provides insights into...

In this engaging episode of The Sober Connection, host Abi King chats to Dawn Comolly, widely known as Sober Fish, to explore the transformative journey of living an alcohol-free life.  Dawn shares her candid experiences of overcoming the challenges of sobriety, the unexpected joys that come with it, and the empowering nature of solo travel. The conversation delves into the role of social media in...

In this episode, Abi explores the identity shift that comes with sobriety — the grief, the uncertainty, and the powerful rediscovery that happens when we finally meet our true selves. She shares how letting go of alcohol isn’t the end of who you are, but the beginning of becoming who you were always meant to be. If you’ve ever felt lost without your “drinking self,” this episode will help you see...