The Regulation Revolution

If we are constantly still reacting, even if we know all the tools, then we aren’t exactly integrating nor creating a better life. We’ve just become a know-it-all and a preacher instead of an actual doer . I create doers here. I don’t let life pass me by and I’m not letting you either. So here’s how to regulate in the moment when something truly just pisses you off, and you no longer want to be an...

I’m trying something a little different with this one, shorter, quicker, more of a “here’s a tool I actually use” than a full teardown. So let’s get into it: a concept I call black coffee . I didn’t invent this. I wish I could take credit, but somewhere along the way, I picked it up, and it’s stuck with me. If you’re the original source, come find me. I’ll shout you out to my micro (but growing!)...

I put out a post on Threads asking what people actually want when it comes to nervous system regulation. Because I could talk shit all day long here, but if it doesn’t HELP you, it doesn’t matter. One woman wrote back: “Understanding emotions as a language. What they’re trying to communicate, how to respond in a way that promotes regulation rather than fueling the spiral.” I love this because who...

This article could have gone one of two ways. I could have written about how chronic stress leads to injury. How the more you listen to your body and respond appropriately, the less potential there is for you to end up hurt. And honestly, that would have been a great article. I probably will do that one day. But a recent conversation I had lead me to this path instead. The despair you feel when yo...

“Death is without a doubt, my biggest fear.” She said through a choked-up throat and blurry eyes. This was in a conversation with a co-worker. And unsurprisingly, I doubt she’s the only one who has this fear at the forefront of her mind. I mean, your brain’s entire job is to keep you alive to avoid the one thing that’s absolutely inevitable for all of us - dying - so it makes sense that you’d inhe...

Last week I spent a good chunk of my time staring at my screen saying “ what the f ** am I supposed to do next??” My schedule was beyond packed. I work full time. I take on 1:1 clients (come work with me! Your life will transform.) I plan epic retreats. I teach classes outside of my full-time job in the mornings and evenings. I speak in other people’s co-horts and on stages. I’m building a women’s...

I’m going to be very real here. I recently caught myself judging someone for talking about their accomplishments. I was sitting at lunch and the person I was with was going on and on about all these amazing things, and I was getting more and more agitated with what she was saying. At one point I looked over to my husband and with the, “alright, I get it” look. And his response checked me back into...

I was listening to the Joe Rogan podcast and Dr. Gad Saad was the guest. Dr. Saad is an evolutionary psychologist who coined the term, suicidal empathy. And to be honest, it is definitely a controversial stand - but it’s also something I agree with. Dr. Saad describes suicidal empathy as a dangerous, hyperactive form of altruism where emotional compassion for ostensibly marginalized groups overrid...

There’s been this ongoing conversation lately between me and one of my co-workers. She is a bit younger than me and is going through that mid-20’s (or maybe always?) low-grade existential crisis. The kind where you stare at your coffee for a little too long and ask yourself: How do I know I’m actually moving forward? How do I feel confident in the decisions I’m making when I can’t fully see where...

This past weekend was the deep exhale I needed for a while. Friday night run, steak dinner, slow conversations with my husband. Saturday morning looking at multi-families, getting our hands messy in a pottery class I had been dying to try for a while. Sunday was welcomed with another run in our favorite town and coffee from our new cute spots. We finished the weekend with lunch with my mom, a nap...

This morning I watched the internet do what it does best. Pick a side and go to war. A doctor posted that trauma isn’t “stored” in the body, only in the brain. Cue the chaos. (which she was looking for by the way) On one side, people yelling “finally, some science.” On the other, somatic practitioners feeling like their life’s work just got dragged through the mud. Honestly I sat there thinking… y...

I was out with my sister and one of our chosen sisters. The one where we were all raised together by single moms and know every detail of each others lives. This was the kind of dinner where the food becomes irrelevant because the conversation takes over. We hadn’t seen each other since CHRISTMAS because ya know, life. Non sister sister has been going through some health things and my husband aske...

I spent last week at a conference full of HR professionals. “Why?” you’re probably asking - well because I am trying my best to get my name out there to help people. And honestly? I was impressed. The people were kind. Thoughtful. You could feel that they genuinely care about employees and the environments they’re shaping. Session after session circled the same themes: connection, communication, c...

Yesterday, I had a very honest conversation with an entrepreneur who was deep in it. The kind of exhaustion you don’t fix with a nap or a day off your phone. She told me she needed to step away for a day just to feel like herself again. And then she asked me, straight up: “Can we really prevent burnout? Or is it inevitable?” I didn’t answer her right away because I’ve been there too. I’m actually...

I was on the phone with one of my best friends the other day. She’s in a bit of a rut but she’s climbing her way out!! Hallelujah. She’s living at her mom’s house right now, along with her sister and her sister’s four-year-old. Truly a cherub among us but… in the background of our call? Absolute chaos. Noise, movement, energy coming from every direction. Constant calling of Auntie while a bike was...

I found myself sitting at a red light the other day, completely calm, speaking my future into existence… like this is what regulation is supposed to look like, right? And then the next day, I was scream-singing Sofi Tukker, doing my best dance moves in the car thinking waittttt this is also what regulation can look like. Both felt equally grounding. Both were regulation. And that’s when it dawned...

I Snapped And It Wasn’t About Him I had to check myself on Saturday. Last week took everything out of me. I’m talking full-body exhaustion. The kind where you sit down “just for a second” and an hour later you realize you’re still in your coat, barely able to form a sentence just kinda staring at the wall. By Friday night, I was tapped out. Final round, couldn’t muster up the energy to do much mor...

What Your Body Is Trying to Tell You (And Why You’re Missing It) The other morning, I was driving to work at 6 AM in pouring rain. Pitch black. Low visibility. And for whatever reason, the highway was packed with 18-wheelers. Fate was testing me. You know that moment when you’re about to pass an 18-wheeler, and you know the exact second your windshield is about to get blasted with water and lose a...

I just got back from a three-day mastermind focused on shifting consciousness and mindset. I did this to better support my clients and learn some new tips and tricks for myself. We are all constantly growing, I have to practice what I preach. It was incredible in its own way and I don’t want to take anything away from that. I even brought my husband, who works in tech sales now but used to be a dr...

Sometimes growth doesn’t look like big, dramatic change; it looks like choosing not to be petty when you easily could be. This is a real moment where I caught my own reaction, sat with it, and then consciously chose a different response. Because emotional maturity isn’t about never having the thought that isn’t cute … it’s about what you do next. The Thought I Didn’t Love Having An old friend of m...

When One Person Changes the Entire Room I’m sure we’ve all had a coworker who makes group interactions just a little more… complicated than they need to be. As a high school teacher, I expect my students’ emotional regulation to be all over the place. It’s kind of part of the job description. But the adults? I’d like to think we’ve got a bit more control. Recently… that has been proving otherwise....

Why We React When We’re Overwhelmed All day long, life is broken into a series of choices. When you’re calm, cool, and collected, those choices feel clear. You understand how you’re moving through the world and you feel confident in your steps forward. But when you’re exhausted…When your brain has been swimming in sensory overload all day… Sometimes those choices leave you looking back at your day...

A raw reflection on growing up reactive, the moment everything cracked open during a fight at 22, and how that single thought— “this is not who I want to be” —led to a decade-long journey into understanding the nervous system, human behavior, and self-awareness. What This Piece Explores Growing up labeled as “argumentative” and always in conflict The difference between being reactive vs self-aware...