The Non-Anxious Leader Podcast

Dr. Michael Kerr, who studied under Murray Bowen, identifies two levels of self-differentiation. Here's what they are and why they matter to the non-anxious leader. Show Notes: Interview with Michael Kerr 2007 from the Family Systems Institute Dr. Michael Kerr Family Systems 101 - A FREE 11-week course Subscribe to my weekly  ⁠Two for Tuesday⁠  emails.

"Panic," a fable from Friedman's Fables, illustrates the importance of taking responsibility for self as a non-anxious leader. Show Notes: Friedman's Fables by Edwin Friedman Subscribe to my weekly  ⁠Two for Tuesday⁠  emails.

Self-differentiation is about knowing your own goals and values, which builds resiliance. Here's the research that shows why. Show Notes: How To Be Resilient: 5 Secrets To Success When Life Gets Impossible by Eric Barker Subscribe to my weekly  ⁠Two for Tuesday⁠  emails.

Not all forms of self-sacrifice are created equal. Self-differentiation is a healthy way to give yourself to others. You'll be a better and happier leader. Here's how. Show Notes: Helping others might feel good, but is it really good for you? by T Ryan Byerly Leaders Eat Last: Why Some Teams Pull Together and Others Don't by Simon Sinek Subscribe to my weekly  ⁠Two for Tuesday⁠  emails...

Non-anxious leaders say what they believe while giving others the freedom to disagree. New research shows why this matters. Show Notes: When Political Discussions Get Heated, Is It Best to Just Stay Out of It? from Kellogg Insight Read the Full Transcript on The Non-Anxious Leader website.  Subscribe to my weekly  ⁠Two for Tuesday⁠  emails.

The inability to self-differentiate as a leader takes its toll. Here's the research behind why this is so. Show Notes: Fake It Until You Make It? Not So Fast: How we compensate when we can’t be our authentic selves from Kellogg Insight Read the Full Transcript on The Non-Anxious Leader website.  Subscribe to my weekly  ⁠Two for Tuesday⁠  emails.

Self-differentiated leaders take responsbility for themselves (and no one else). Here are three strategies to help you do this. Show Notes: Why this type of self-discipline will make you a better leader by Jody Michael Read the Full Transcript on The Non-Anxious Leader website.  Subscribe to my weekly  ⁠Two for Tuesday⁠  emails.

All families are dysfunctional. Self-differentiation isn't always standing up to surrounding togetherness pressure. Here's my experience at a family reunion. Read the Full Transcript on The Non-Anxious Leader website.  Subscribe to my weekly  ⁠Two for Tuesday⁠  emails.

Non-Violent or Compassionate Communication not only helps us to express our unmet needs, it also helps us to listen to others to identify their unmet needs. Show Notes: Episode 181: A Family Systems Take on Non-Violent (or Compassionate) Communication – Part 1 (rebroadcast) Read the Full Transcript on The Non-Anxious Leader website.  Subscribe to my weekly  ⁠Two for Tuesday⁠  emails.

Marshall Rosenberg developed Non-Violent Communication to better express our own needs and better understand the needs of others. This episode looks at how this complements family systems theory and can help non-anxious leaders communicate more effectively. Show Notes: The Center for Non-Violent Communication “Feelings Inventory” The Center for Non-Violent Communication “Needs Inventory” Read the...

When you can't be yourself in the workplace you are more likely to burnout. Here's how to bring your whole self to work. Show Notes: Susan David on Bringing Our Whole Selves to Work by Susan David, Ph. D. Read the Full Transcript on The Non-Anxious Leader website.  Subscribe to my weekly  ⁠Two for Tuesday⁠  emails.

Healthy emotional space is essential to healthy relationships. This episode goes through the ways that you can make it possible. Show Notes: Join the Non-Anxious Leader Network Read the Full Transcript on The Non-Anxious Leader website.  Subscribe to my weekly  ⁠Two for Tuesday⁠  emails.

Nobody likes to be told what to do. Motivational interviewing is a more effective approach. Here's how it works. Show Notes: This Is How To Get People To Change: 5 Secrets From Research by Eric Barker Read the Full Transcript on The Non-Anxious Leader website.  Subscribe to my weekly  ⁠Two for Tuesday⁠  emails.

The ability to be a non-anxious presence is an expression of both wisdom and self-differentiation. This episode explores the connection between the two. Show Notes: The World Needs Wisdom: Here’s How to Activate Yours by Barbara Waxman Episode 108: Five Steps to Better Self-Regulation Read the Full Transcript on The Non-Anxious Leader website.  Subscribe to my weekly  ⁠Two for Tuesday⁠  emails.

Anxious situtations can lead to a conflict of wills, which will get you stuck. Here's how to remain a non-anxious presence. Show Notes: 8 Phrases That Help Us Communicate More Effectively by Marina Khidekel Read the Full Transcript on The Non-Anxious Leader website.  Subscribe to my weekly  ⁠Two for Tuesday⁠  emails.

Nobody lives in a vacuum. Surrounding togetherness pressure influences people in both negative and positive ways. Here's how you, as a leader, can use it to make things better. Show Notes: The Lazy Way To An Awesome Life by Eric Barker Read the Full Transcript on The Non-Anxious Leader website. 

Asking for help is not a sign of weakness or incompetence. Non-anxious leaders are able to be open and vulnerable in ways that deepen emotional connection. This episode shows you how. Show Notes: How to ask for help by Debbie Sorensen Read the Full Transcript on The Non-Anxious Leader website.  Subscribe to my weekly  ⁠Two for Tuesday⁠  emails.

Leadership through self-differentiation is counterintuitive. Here are five evidence-based reasons why it's effective. Show Notes: 5 insights from behavioral science that can make you better at influencing others from Fast Company Thinking, Fast and Slow by Daniel Kahneman Read the Full Transcript on The Non-Anxious Leader website.  Subscribe to my weekly  ⁠Two for Tuesday⁠  emails.

The COVID-19 pandemic has disrupted daily living for almost everybody. This kind of change requires us to understand loss, grief and how to manage anxiety. This episode was originally broadcast in April 2020. It's still relevant today. Show Notes: That Discomfort You’re Feeling Is Grief by Scott Berinato Read the Full Transcript on The Non-Anxious Leader website.  Subscribe to my weekly  ⁠Two...

This episode was originally broadcast in 2020 at the beginning of the pandemic. It's message is still relevant.  In Matthew 28:1-10, Mary Magdalene and the other Mary, face change, uncertainty and fear. The parallels to the current COVID-19 crisis are unmistakable. Their response can help us find hope. Show Notes: That Discomfort You’re Feeling Is Grief by Scott Berinato The Liturgists Podcast...

Feelings are contagious. Understanding mirror neurons sheds light on the power of a non-anxious presence. Show Notes: What are Mirror Neurons? Reviewed by Kate Anderton, B.Sc. Generation to Generation: Family Process in Church and Synagogue by Edwin Friedman Subscribe to my weekly  ⁠Two for Tuesday⁠  emails.

Leaders need to understand the triangles and resistance involved in leading dependent people. This episode shows you what that looks like and how to lead as a non-anxious presence. Show Notes: Episode 98: Non-Anxious Leaders Understand Paradox and Playfulness Generation to Generation: Family Process in Church and Synagogue by Edwin Friedman Read the Full Transcript on The Non-Anxious Leader websit...

This episode shows how self-compassion helps you self-differentiate, as well as four steps to develop self-compassion. Show Notes: Being Kind to Yourself from Hidden Brain Self-Compassion: The Proven Power of Being Kind to Yourself by Kristin Neff Fierce Self-Compassion: How Women Can Harness Kindness to Speak Up, Claim Their Power, and Thrive by Kristin Neff, Jean Ann Douglass, et al. Read the Fu...

Every system has interlocking triangles. This episode uses a case study from Edwin Friedman's Generation to Generation to explain how they work and how to unlock them. Show Notes: Generation to Generation: Family Process in Church and Synagogue by Edwin Friedman Read the Full Transcript on The Non-Anxious Leader website.  Subscribe to my weekly  ⁠Two for Tuesday⁠  emails.

In this episode I break down a case study from Generation to Generation that highlights how paradox and playfulness can lead to lasting change. Show Notes: Generation to Generation: Family Process in Church and Synagogue by Edwin Friedman Read the Full Transcript on The Non-Anxious Leader website.  Subscribe to my weekly  ⁠Two for Tuesday⁠  emails.