The Non-Anxious Leader Podcast

The Friedman's Fable, "Burnout," is both humorous and instructive. Here's my take on the family systems dynamics of burnout, as well as how to avoid it. Show Notes: Friedman’s Fables by Edwin Friedman Generation to Generation: Family Process in Church and Synagogue by Edwin Friedman Subscribe to my weekly  ⁠Two for Tuesday⁠  emails.

"The Magic Ring" from Friedman's Fables highlights the upside of being able to act freely without fear. This episode shows you how this works in real life. Show Notes: Friedman’s Fables by Edwin Friedman A Failure of Nerve: Leadership in the Age of the Quick Fix by Edwin Friedman Read the Full Transcript on The Non-Anxious Leader website.  Subscribe to my weekly  ⁠Two for Tuesday⁠  e...

The Friedman's Fable, "Attachment," uses a mythical culture to describe attachment in the extreme. Listen to the fable and my take on how it applies to leadership. Show Notes: Friedman's Fables by Edwin Friedman Generation to Generation: Family Process in Church and Synagogue by Edwin Friedman Read the Full Transcript on The Non-Anxious Leader website.  Subscribe to my weekly  ⁠T...

Leadership through self-differentiation creates the conditions for people to speak their minds. This leads to a healthier system and a better chance to lead positive change. Show Notes: Generation to Generation: Family Process in Church and Synagogue by Edwin Friedman Family Systems 101 Preview SIGN UP for Family Systems 101 Read the Full Transcript on The Non-Anxious Leader website.  Subscribe to...

Empathy is important but has its downsides. Leadership through self-differentiation sees empathy as a step toward compassion, which can help others learn and grow. Show Notes: Connect with Empathy, But Lead with Compassion by Rasmus Hougaard, Jacqueline Carter, and Marissa Afton Episode 48: Envy, Empathy and Emotional Connection ZOOM link for the Family Systems 101 Preview (Tuesday, February 8, 20...

Reactivity and adaptivity are automatic responses like software. This episode will help you reprogram your behavior so you can exercise integrity in the moment of choice. Show Notes: This Is How To Have Emotionally Intelligent Relationships: 4 Secrets From Research by Eric Barker The Interpersonal Problems Workbook: ACT to End Painful Relationship Patterns by by Matthew McKay PhD, Patrick Fanning,...

Edwin Friedman described 11 tensions in leadership. This episode explains them so you can use them as a guide to leading through self-differentiation. Show Notes: Leadership through Self-Differentiation , a home video of an Edwin Friedman divinity school lecture. Read the Full Transcript on The Non-Anxious Leader website.  Subscribe to my weekly  ⁠Two for Tuesday⁠  emails.

Seventy-six percent of people nearing the end of their lives say their biggest regret was living their lives according to other people and their expectations. This is surrounding togetherness pressure. Here's what you can do about it. Show Notes: The experience of regret: What, when, and why by Thomas Gilovich and Victoria Medvec Episode 24: The Top Five Regrets of the Dying (and How to Avoid...

The primitive part of our brain makes it possible for us to get addicted to anxiety and worry. This episode breaks it down, as well as how to break the habit. Show Notes: Unwinding Anxiety: New Science Shows How to Break the Cycles of Worry and Fear to Heal Your Mind by Judson Brewer, MD, PhD Read the Full Transcript on The Non-Anxious Leader website.  Subscribe to my weekly  ⁠Two for Tuesday⁠  em...

Chronic emotional patterns are sustained by reactive or adaptive responses. Breaking the cycle requires self-awareness and intentionality to do something different. Here's how. Show Notes: Sign up for The Non-Anxious Leader Email list . Read the Full Transcript on The Non-Anxious Leader website.  Subscribe to my weekly  ⁠Two for Tuesday⁠  emails.

Chronic emotional patterns are sustained by adaptive or reactive feedback. Understanding how this works is the first step toward responding as a non-anxious presence. Show Notes: Triggers: Creating Behavior That Lasts–Becoming the Person You Want to Be by Marshall Goldsmith Read the Full Transcript on The Non-Anxious Leader website.  Subscribe to my weekly  ⁠Two for Tuesday⁠  emails.

Self-differentiation doesn't happen automatically. It's even harder during the holidays when surrounding togetherness pressure can be high. This episode covers a four-step process that can help you remain a non-anxious presence when you express what you believe, feel, want and need. Show Notes: Alison Cook, Ph. D. Subscribe to The Non-Anxious Leader email list Read the Full Transcript on T...

Over one quarter of Americans have an estranged family member. This makes the holidays extremely difficult. Learning to manage this can also help you to grow as a non-anxious leader. Show Notes: How to grieve estranged family and friends during the holidays by Christina Wyman Episode 135: Emotional Cutoff – What It Is and How to Deal with It Center for Pastoral Effectiveness of the Rockies Read th...

The holidays can be stressful even without annoying family members. This episode will help you prepare so you can be a non-anxious presence. Show Notes: Use these job skills to deal with your most difficult family members this holiday season by Gwen Moran Read the Full Transcript on The Non-Anxious Leader website. Subscribe to my weekly  ⁠Two for Tuesday⁠  emails.

The characteristics of an authentic leader show that self-differentiation and authenticity go hand-in-hand. It all comes down to taking responsibility for self. This episode shows you how. Show Notes: Discovering Your Authentic Leadership by Bill George , Peter Sims , Andrew N. McLean and Diana Mayer Read the Full Transcript on The Non-Anxious Leader website. Subscribe to my weekly  ⁠Two for Tuesd...

Self-differentiation is more than just being a non-anxious presence in anxious situations. It's about building deeper, healthier relationships. This episode shows you how. Show Notes: The conversational habits that build better connections by David Robson Read the Full Transcript on The Non-Anxious Leader website. Subscribe to my weekly  ⁠Two for Tuesday⁠  emails.

No matter how much family systems theory you know, self-regulating in the moment is the key to putting it into practice. This episode will help you do this so you can self-differentiate in anxious interactions. Show Notes: How to Be Happier Without Really Trying by Eric Barker Pocket Therapy for Emotional Balance: Quick DBT Skills to Manage Intense Emotions by Matthew McKay PhD, Jeffrey C. Wood,Ps...

Narcissists are great at self-definition but not emotional connection. Understanding the difference between this and self-differentiation will help you as a non-anxious leader. Show Notes: Narcissism from Wikipedia How to identify narcissists at work—and when to avoid them by Art Markman, PhD Read the Full Transcript on The Non-Anxious Leader website. Subscribe to my weekly  ⁠Two for Tuesday⁠  ema...

Chinese philosophy takes a different approach to parenting than most of us are used to. Here's a family systems take that can help the non-anxious leader. Show Notes: How Chinese philosophy can help you parent by Erin Cline Generation to Generation: Family Process in Church and Synagogue by Edwin Friedman Read the Full Transcript on The Non-Anxious Leader website. Subscribe to my weekly  ⁠Two...

Existential anxiety is a sign that you want to make things better but you're feeling surrounding togetherness pressure. Here's how you can manage it and actually use it in your favor. Show Notes: How to be anxious by David Egan Read the Full Transcript on The Non-Anxious Leader website. Subscribe to my weekly  ⁠Two for Tuesday⁠  emails.

This episode is a presentation from the Family Systems Book Study that puts family systems theory in context for the non-anxious leader. Show Notes: Read the Full Transcript on The Non-Anxious Leader website. Subscribe to my weekly  ⁠Two for Tuesday⁠  emails.

A conflict of wills gets you stuck. This approach will help you move forward towards a more productive conversation. Show notes: New Neuroscience Reveals 7 Secrets That Will Make You Emotionally Intelligent by Eric Barker Conflicted: How Productive Disagreements Lead to Better Outcomes by Ian Leslie Read the Full Transcript on The Non-Anxious Leader website. Subscribe to my weekly  ⁠Two for Tuesda...

Edwin Friedman described five characteristics of systems that promote burnout among their leaders. Understanding this can help you avoid the same fate. Part 1 goes through the characteristics. Part 2 helps leaders respond appropriately. Show Notes: Generation to Generation: Family Process in Church and Synagogue Read the Full Transcript on The Non-Anxious Leader website. Subscribe to my weekly  ⁠T...

Edwin Friedman described five characteristics of systems that promote burnout among their leaders. Understanding this can help you avoid the same fate. Part 1 goes through the characteristics. Part 2 helps leaders respond appropriately. Show Notes: Generation to Generation: Family Process in Church and Synagogue Join the FREE Family Systems Book Study Read the Full Transcript on The Non-Anxious Le...

A scapegoat gives individuals and society someone to blame. This episode unpacks the family systems principles at work. Show Notes: A Cow, A Lantern, and a Myth: Mrs. O'Leary and 19the Century Immigrants in Chicago The O'Leary Legend Scapegoating minorities is an unfortunate reality of history by Grady Atwater Join the FREE Family Systems Book Study Read the Full Transcript on The Non-Anxi...