The Non-Anxious Leader Podcast

Self-differentiation is different than being selfish. This episode explains the difference. Show Notes: Healthy Selfishness and Pathological Altruism: Measuring Two Paradoxical Forms of Selfishness by Scott Barry Kaufman and Emanuel Jauk Join the FREE Family Systems Book Study Read the Full Transcript on The Non-Anxious Leader website. Subscribe to my weekly  ⁠Two for Tuesday⁠  emails.

Authenticity is the path to developing as an effective leader. This episode breaks down how this relates to leadership through self-differentiation. Show Notes: Discovering Your Authentic Leadership by Bill George, Peter Sims, Andrew N. McLean, and Diana Mayer. Join the FREE Family Systems Book Study . Read the Full Transcript on The Non-Anxious Leader website. Subscribe to my weekly  ⁠Two for Tue...

Understanding emotional process enables leaders to know when they should engage in a conversation and when there is something else going on. This episode explains the difference. This is the audio of Chapter 5, "Process Not Content," from my book, If You Met My Family, You'd Understand: A Family Systems Primer . You can find all 10 chapters of the book in Episodes 56-65 of this Podca...

When we are uncomfortable with another, we often avoid dealing directly with that relationship by triangling a third person or issue. Understanding how triangles work and how to deal with them is essential to healthy functioning. This is the audio of Chapter 4 on Triangles from my book, If You Met My Family, You'd Understand: A Family Systems Primer . You can find all 10 chapters of the book i...

The difference between happy and unhappy people is how they respond to pain and suffering. This episode unpacks the family systems concepts involved. Show Notes: This Is The Most Fun Way To Make Your Life Awesome by Eric Barker The Redemptive Self: Stories Americans Live By by Dan P. McAdams Episode 128: How to Grow Stronger Emotionally Read the Full Transcript on The Non-Anxious Leader website. S...

Emotional cutoff is not uncommon in families, congregations and organizations. This episode helps you recognize it and manage it. Show Notes: Emotional Cutoff The Bowen Center for the Study of Family Episode 103: The Magnet Theory of Emotional Distance Read the Full Transcript on The Non-Anxious Leader website. Subscribe to my weekly  ⁠Two for Tuesday⁠  emails.

Surrounding togetherness pressure doesn't always come from others. Our desire to please can cause anxiety. Here's one example and how I dealt with it. Read the Full Transcript on The Non-Anxious Leader website. Subscribe to my weekly  ⁠Two for Tuesday⁠  emails.

A non-anxious leader understands how emotions spread and how to be a positive influence. This episode breaks it down. Show Notes: Those Who Share a Roof Share Emotions by Arthur C. Brooks Read the Full Transcript on The Non-Anxious Leader website. Subscribe to my weekly  ⁠Two for Tuesday⁠  emails.

Remaining a non-anxious presence with someone who is frustrated creates healthy emotional space. This episode shows you how. Show Notes: Read the Full Transcript on The Non-Anxious Leader website. Subscribe to my weekly  ⁠Two for Tuesday⁠  emails.

Avoiding a conflict of wills and taking responsibility for self are two essential elements in responding when you make a mistake. I share my own experience in this episode. Show Notes: Read the Full Transcript on The Non-Anxious Leader website.

If servant leadership is about serving those you lead, then how does a self-differentiated leader do this? Part 2 goes through the second five characteristics of a servant-leader to show you how. Show Notes: Ten Characteristics of a Servant-Leader by Larry Spears A Failure of Nerve: Leadership in the Age of the Quick Fix by Edwin Friedman Putting God First Means Family Comes Before Work by Jack Sh...

If servant leadership is about serving those you lead, then how does a self-differentiated leader do this? Part 1 goes through the first five characteristics of a servant-leader to show you how. Show Notes: Ten Characteristics of a Servant-Leader by Larry Spears Episode 35: Sabotage and Empathy (What Works and What Doesn’t) Episode 48: Envy, Empathy and Emotional Connection Episode 90: How Self-Aw...

Glennon Doyle said, "Pain is not to be chosen, not to be avoided." I break this statement down in family systems terms to show how this is the path to self-differentiation and emotional strength. Show Notes: Glennon Doyle and Brené on Untamed - Unlocking Us with Brené Brown How do you help a grieving friend? by Megan Devine Read the Full Transcript on The Non-Anxious Leader website. Subs...

Self-differentiation includes both self-definition and self-regulation. This episode breaks down what this looks like and how to keep things in balance. Show Notes: Differentiation of Self: To Be or Not to Be? A Presentation by Mindy S. Reynolds Read the Full Transcript on The Non-Anxious Leader website. Subscribe to my weekly  ⁠Two for Tuesday⁠  emails.

This episode looks at the pseudo-self vs. the basic self, as well as the three-legged stool of self-differentiation. Show Notes: Differentiation of Self: To Be or Not to Be? A Presentation by Mindy S. Reynolds Read the Full Transcript on The Non-Anxious Leader website.

This look at self-differentiation comes from the Bowen school of family systems theory. I give my take on how it can help you grow as a non-anxious presence. Show Notes: Differentiation of Self: To Be or Not to Be? A Presentation by Mindy S. Reynolds Read the Full Transcript on The Non-Anxious Leader website. Subscribe to my weekly  ⁠Two for Tuesday⁠  emails.

Self-management, self-awareness, social awareness and relationship management are all aspects of emotional intelligence that can help you be a non-anxious presence. Here's how. Show Notes: Improving Emotional Intelligence (EQ) Emotional Intelligence Toolkit Quick Stress Relief Subscribe to my weekly  ⁠Two for Tuesday⁠  emails.

Emotional intelligence and self-differentiation go hand-in-hand. This episode explains how it relates to family systems theory. Show Notes: EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE: AN OVERVIEW  Dr. Manoranjan Tripathy Read the Full Transcript on The Non-Anxious Leader website. Subscribe to my weekly  ⁠Two for Tuesday⁠  emails.

Trying too hard to motivate the unmotivated can result in resistance. Here's a family systems take using a story from Friedman's Fables. Show Notes: Friedman's Fables Read the Full Transcript on The Non-Anxious Leader website. Subscribe to my weekly  ⁠Two for Tuesday⁠  emails.

Projection is an emotional process that is one of the four automatic responses to system anxiety. Understanding how it works and how to recognize it will help you as a non-anxious leader. Show Notes: Friedmans's Fables by Edwin Friedman Generation to Generation: Family Process in Church and Synagogue by Edwin Friedman Read the Full Transcript on The Non-Anxious Leader website. Subscribe to my...

If we don't self-regulate we can end up responding automatically to system anxiety. This episode explains the possible responses and how to respond differently. Show notes: The Bowen Center for the Study of Family Read the Full Transcript on The Non-Anxious Leader website.

Resilience enables you to be a non-anxious presence in difficult situations so you can respond with your best self. This episode covers the research behind resilience, as well as four steps to becoming more resilient. Show Notes: How People Learn to Become Resilient by Maria Konnikova Episode 92: You Can Change Your Environment or You Can Change Yourself – A Look at Edwin Friedman’s Take on Toxici...

Mindfulness teaches us to stay focused on the present without judgment. Here's how you can use this to self-regulate more effectively. Show Notes: Podcast Episode 49: Hot States, Cold States and Self-Regulation (Part 1 of 2) Podcast Episode 50: Hot States, Cold States and Self-Regulation (Part 2 of 2) Viktor Frankl quote Read the Full Transcript on The Non-Anxious Leader website. Subscribe to...

Marshall Rosenberg uses Non-Violent or Compassionate Communication to resolve conflicts with children. This episode looks at his process through the lens of family systems theory. Show Notes: Marshall Rosenberg - Resolving Conflicts with Children #‪1‬ Marshall Rosenberg - Resolving Conflicts with Children #‪2‬ Read the Full Transcript on The Non-Anxious Leader website. Subscribe to my weekly  ⁠Two...

When we make our well-being dependent on someone else's functioning we set up a conflict of wills. "Soaring" from Friedman's Fables can help us understand why. Show Notes: Friedman's Fables Read the Full Transcript on The Non-Anxious Leader website. Subscribe to my weekly  ⁠Two for Tuesday⁠  emails.