Jack Shitama

The Non-Anxious Leader Podcast

Religion EN ↓ 389 episodes

The Non-Anxious Leader Podcast uses a family systems theory approach to increase your spiritual, emotional and physical well-being so you can be the best leader possible. Each episode explores research and practical tips to help you be a personal and professional non-anxious presence.

Author

Jack Shitama

Category

Religion

Podcast website

www.thenonanxiousleader.com

Latest episode

Jul 6, 2026

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Episodes

Episode 114: Storytime-Put Your Own Oxygen Mask on First 15.03.2021

While others may panic during anxious times, non-anxious leaders are able to focus on taking responsibility for self. Show Notes: Friedman's Fables Read the Full Transcript on The Non-Anxious Leader website. Subscribe to my weekly  ⁠Two for Tuesday⁠  emails.

Episode 113: Storytime-How to Deal with Hypersensitive People 08.03.2021

Enabling hypersenstive people will result in their feeling entitled, which will take its toll on us. This episode shows how to handle things more effectively. Show notes: Friedman's Fables Read the Full Transcript on The Non-Anxious Leader website.

Episode 112: Storytime-To Avoid Resistance Stay in Your Lane 01.03.2021

"'Round in Circles" from Friedman's Fables illustrates the problems with focusing on what other people should do. Show Notes: Friedman's Fables by Edwin Friedman Read the Full Transcript on The Non-Anxious Leader website.

Episode 111: Storytime-The Power of the Dependent 22.02.2021

Edwin Friedman's book, Friedman's Fables , is an entertaining way to learn family systems theory. In this episode, I read the first fable, "The Bridge," and unpack the concept of the leverage of the dependent. Show Notes: Friedman's Fables by Edwin Friedman Read the Full Transcript on The Non-Anxious Leader website.

Episode 110: Not All Conflicts Are Equal 15.02.2021

Knowing the difference between different types of conflicts and how to handle them is key to being a non-anxious leader. This episode shows you how. Show Notes: 3 Types of Conflict and How to Address Them by Katie Shonk Think Again: The Power of Knowing What You Don't Know by Adam Grant The Science of Reasoning With Unreasonable People by Adam Grant Read the Full Transcript on The Non-Anxious...

Episode 109: Self-Differentiation Is Not Selfishness 08.02.2021

Self-differentiation is sometimes confused with selfishness. This episode looks at the concepts of ego and ego-strength to show the difference. Show Notes: Egomania vs. ego strength by Seth Godin Ego Versus Ego-Strength: The Characteristics of a Healthy Ego and Why It's Essential to Your Happiness by Athena Staik, Ph. D. Read the Full Transcript on The Non-Anxious Leader website. Subscribe to...

Episode 108: Five Steps to Better Self-Regulation 01.02.2021

Encounters with anxious people can make it difficult to control one's own reactivity. These five steps can help you better self-regulate. Show Notes: How to Keep Your Cool in High-Stress Situations by Robert E. Quinn, David P. Fessell, and Stephen W. Porges Read the Full Transcript on The Non-Anxious Leader website.

Episode 107: The Power of a Creative Minority 25.01.2021

A creative minority can change things for the better. Leadership through self-differentiation makes this possible. Show Notes: On Creative Minorities by Jonathan Sacks Read the Full Transcript on The Non-Anxious Leader website.

Episode 106: The Importance of a Loyal Opposition 18.01.2021

Leading through self-differentiation will result in a loyal opposition. This is a good thing and will help you be your best. Show Notes: The Five Dysfunctions of a Team: A Leadership Fable by Patrick Lencioni Episode 35: Sabotage and Empathy (What Works and What Doesn’t) Read the Full Transcript on The Non-Anxious Leader website. Subscribe to my weekly  ⁠Two for Tuesday⁠  emails.

Episode 105: Is Society Regressing? 11.01.2021

Societal regression occurs when anxiety increases due to the inability to handle change. This episode looks at the characteristics in light of recent events. Show Notes: A Failure of Nerve: Leadership in the Age of the Quick Fix Podcast Episode 28: How to Take a Leadership Stand on Controversial Issues (including a Family Systems take on Donald Trump’s Leadership Style) Podcast Episode 44: Four Ru...

Episode 104: How to Make Your Habits Work for You 04.01.2021

This episode covers a repeatable process for developing positive habits to improve your spiritual, physical and professional lives. Show Notes: Get your FREE ecopy of One New Habit, One New Goal: Change Your Life in 10 Weeks The ONE Thing: The Surprisingly Simple Truth Behind Extraordinary Results by Gary Keller and Jay Papasan The Healthy Habit Revolution: The Step by Step Blueprint to Create Bet...

Episode 103: The Magnet Theory of Emotional Distance 28.12.2020

Non-anxious leaders create healthy emotional space. The magnet theory helps to understand what this looks like and how to do it. Show Notes: Episode 102: The Problem with Emotional Intensity The Non-Anxious Leader Network Read the Full Transcript on The Non-Anxious Leader website. Subscribe to my weekly  ⁠Two for Tuesday⁠  emails.

Episode 102: The Problem with Emotional Intensity 21.12.2020

Emotional intensity can serve as a clue to the emotional process in a system. This episode starts with examples in child-focused families and then shows how this can help the non-anxious leader. Show Notes: Generation to Generation: Family Process in Church and Synagogue The Non-Anxious Leader Network Read the Full Transcript on The Non-Anxious Leader website. Subscribe to my weekly  ⁠Two for Tues...

Episode 101: Family Systems in a Nutshell - A Children's Story 14.12.2020

The children's story, Bread and Jam for Frances , has all the components of family systems theory. This episode breaks it down. Show Notes: Bread and Jam for Frances by Russell Hoban Read the Full Transcript on The Non-Anxious Leader website. Subscribe to my weekly  ⁠Two for Tuesday⁠  emails.

Episode 100: A Family Systems Take on Non-Violent (or Compassionate) Communication - Part 2 07.12.2020

Non-Violent or Compassionate Communication not only helps us to express our unmet needs, it also helps us to listen to others to identify their unmet needs. Show Notes: Episode 99: A Family Systems Take on Non-Violent (or Compassionate) Communication - Part 1 Family Systems Book Study in The Non-Anxious Leader Network Read the Full Transcript on The Non-Anxious Leader website. Subscribe to my week...

Episode 99: A Family Systems Take on Non-Violent (or Compassionate) Communication - Part 1 30.11.2020

Marshall Rosenberg developed Non-Violent Communication to better express our own needs and better understand the needs of others. This episode looks at how this complements family systems theory and can help non-anxious leaders communicate more effectively. Show Notes: The Center for Non-Violent Communication "Feelings Inventory" The Center for Non-Violent Communication "Needs Inven...

Episode 98: Non-Anxious Leaders Understand Paradox and Playfulness 23.11.2020

Edwin Friedman maintained that paradox and playfulness were important to maintaining a non-anxious presence. The leverage of the dependent and the conflict of wills are key concepts to understanding how this works. Show Notes: Friedman's Fables by Edwin H. Friedman Read the Full Transcript on The Non-Anxious Leader website. Subscribe to my weekly  ⁠Two for Tuesday⁠  emails.

Episode 97: Your Most Important Role as a Leader 16.11.2020

Discerning and communicating vision is your most important role as a leader. Doing this well creates focus, as well as reduces anxiety. Understanding family sysytems theory will help you deal effectively with resistance. A note: near the end I say "A little humilty never helps." I meant to say, "A little humility never hurts."  Read the Full Transcript on The Non-Anxious Leader...

Episode 96: Five Characteristics of Resilience (and How They Help the Non-Anxious Leader) 09.11.2020

Resilience not only promotes growth, it enables a leader to maintain a non-anxious presence when facing challenge. Understanding resilience will help you do this more effectively. Show Notes: Episode 92: You Can Change Your Environment or You Can Change Yourself – A Look at Edwin Friedman’s Take on Toxicity and Response Read the Full Transcript on The Non-Anxious Leader website.

Episode 95: The Problem with Moral Convictions 02.11.2020

Moral convictions are important. However, if they aren't managed properly they can have negative consequences. Understanding how they work can help you avoid the negatives so you can be a non-anxious leader. Show Notes: Moral Combat - Hidden Brain Podcast Moral Conviction by Linda J. Skitka, Ph. D. Episode 85: Facts, Beliefs and the Non-Anxious Leader Read the Full Transcript on The Non-Anxiou...

Episode 94: How Fusion Results in a Herd Mentality 26.10.2020

Fusion is the loss of self to the norms of another individual or group. Understanding how it works can help the non-anxious leader recognize and avoid a herd mentality. Show Notes: The Center for Family Process Definitions from Bowen Theory from The Family Systems Institute Bowen Theory & Concepts from The Bowen Theory Education Center Read the Full Transcript on The Non-Anxious Leader website...

Episode 93: A Family Systems Perspective on Imposter Syndrome 19.10.2020

Many high achievers suffer from imposter syndrome. Looking at one's own family of origin and taking responsibility for self can help. Show Notes: Imposter syndrome - Wikipedia Mindset: The New Psychology of Success by Carol Dweck , Ph. D The Secret Thoughts of Successful Women: Why Capable People Suffer From the Impostor Syndrome and How to Thrive in Spite of It by Valerie Young, Ed. D Imposte...

Episode 92: You Can Change Your Environment or You Can Change Yourself - A Look at Edwin Friedman's Take on Toxicity and Response 12.10.2020

Edwin Friedman said that the strength of toxicity in a system could be expressed as hostile environment divided by the response of the organizm (HE/RO). This episode unpacks what this means for the non-anxious leader. Show Notes: Toxicity and Response by Edwin Friedman Read the Full Transcript on The Non-Anxious Leader website. Subscribe to my weekly  ⁠Two for Tuesday⁠  emails.

Episode 91: The Characteristics of an Authentic Leader 05.10.2020

The characteristics of an authentic leader show that self-differentiation and authenticity go hand-in-hand. It all comes down to taking responsibility for self. Show Notes: Discovering Your Authentic Leadership by Bill George , Peter Sims , Andrew N. McLean and Diana Mayer Read the Full Transcript on The Non-Anxious Leader website. Subscribe to my weekly  ⁠Two for Tuesday⁠  emails.

Episode 90: How Self-Awareness and Intentionality Foster Self-Differentiation 28.09.2020

This episode defines self-awareness and intentionality, as well as how they help us work towards self-differentiation. Show Notes: What Self-Awareness Really Is (and How to Cultivate It) by Tasha Eurich Intention and Intentionality , The Coaching Room Episode 35: Sabotage and Empathy (What Works and What Doesn’t) Read the Full Transcript on The Non-Anxious Leader website. Subscribe to my weekly  ⁠...

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