The Non-Anxious Leader Podcast

The United Methodist Church is on the verge of splitting over human sexuality. This is Part 1 of my conversation with Rev. Loren Richmond Jr. on his Future Christian Podcast. Loren asked me to join him to discuss The UMC from a family systems perspective. Show Notes: If you want to fast forward Background on The UMC 10:03 A family systems take on the current conflict 18:07 Future Christian Podcast...

It's good to be optimistic but toxic positivity takes it to the extreme. This episode unpacks what it is and what you can do to avoid it. Show Notes: This Is the Best Way to Support a Stressed-Out Person, According to Research by Jessica Stillman What Is Toxic Positivity? By Kendra Cherry Read the Full Transcript on The Non-Anxious Leader website.  Subscribe to my weekly  ⁠Two for Tuesday⁠  em...

Anxious people want a quick fix. Non-anxious leaders know this is not the answer. Here's why, as well as how you can respond to challenge in a way that will make a difference. Show Notes: How to avoid the most seductive leadership mistake by Ed O'Malley and Julia Fabris McBride Read the Full Transcript on The Non-Anxious Leader website.  Subscribe to my weekly  ⁠Two for Tuesday⁠  emails.

Research shows that feelings of inauthenticity can lead to immoral behavior. This episode show how this relates to self-differentiation and surrounding togetherness pressure, as well as what you can do about it. Show Notes: Could Bringing Your “Whole Self” to Work Curb Unethical Behavior? from KelloggInsight Read the Full Transcript on The Non-Anxious Leader website.  Subscribe to my weekly  ⁠Two...

Jim Collins says that personal humility and professional will are what separate great leaders from the rest. This episode explains what that means and how it relates to self-differentiation. Show Notes: Level 5 Leadership: The Triumph of Humility and Fierce Resolve by Jim Collins Good to Great: Why Some Companies Make the Leap and Others Don't by Jim Collins Family Systems 101 - A FREE online...

Emotional labor has gotten a lot of attention lately, especially in relation to gender equity. Here's how to understand it in family systems terms. Show Notes: The Concept Creep of ‘Emotional Labor’ by Julie Beck Family Systems 101 - A FREE online course Read the Full Transcript on The Non-Anxious Leader website. 

Maintaining a non-anxious presence in anxious situations is challenging. Here's what you can learn from one of sport's most pressure-filled moments. Show Notes: A Psychologist Spent Five Years Studying World Cup Penalty Shootouts by Ben Cohen Family Systems 101 - A FREE 11-Week Course Read the Full Transcript on The Non-Anxious Leader website.  Subscribe to my weekly  ⁠Two for Tuesday⁠  em...

Being able to handle situations where others lose their cool is an essential leadership skill. Here's how to do it. Show Notes: This Is How To Have Emotionally Intelligent Arguments: 4 Secrets by Eric Barker Talking to 'Crazy': How to Deal with the Irrational and Impossible People in Your Life by Mark Goulston Episode 206: How to Be a Non-Anxious Presence Read the Full Transcript on Th...

If you want to make an impact in this world, you need to be able to do what's important but not urgent. Whether you want to improve your health, write a book or run a marathon, the same principles apply. Here's how they've worked for me. Show Notes: Get your FREE ecopy of One New Habit, One New Goal: Change Your Life in 10 Weeks (no email address required) The ONE Thing: The Surprising...

Dialectical Behavioral Therapy helps people with extreme reactivity. Here's how it can help you to be a non-anxious presence. Show Notes: How to calm your inner storm by Sheri Van Dijk Non-Violent Communications Feelings Inventory Read the Full Transcript on The Non-Anxious Leader website.  Subscribe to my weekly  ⁠Two for Tuesday⁠  emails.

Non-anxious leaders have a confidence that is based in knowing their goals and values, as well as embracing humility, curiousity and courage. This is both attractive and influential. Here's how it works. Show Notes: 5 habits of confident people by Stephanie Vozza Read the Full Transcript on The Non-Anxious Leader website.  Subscribe to my weekly  ⁠Two for Tuesday⁠  emails.

A non-anxious leader understands how emotions spread and how to be a positive influence. This episode is a rebroadcast of Episode 133: Emotions Are Contagious - Here's What You Need to Know. It's been re-titled because it focuses mainly on how to be a non-anxious presence when others are unhappy. Show Notes: Those Who Share a Roof Share Emotions by Arthur C. Brooks Subscribe to my weekly ...

Self-differentiation is the ability to define your own goals and values, express them in healthy ways AND remain emotionally connected to the most anxious in the relationship system. Here are eight ways that you can fall short, along with strategies to do better in the future. Show notes: Minding the Gaps in Our Own Maturity by Kathleen Smith Read the Full Transcript on The Non-Anxious Leader webs...

The triangle is the most stable form of human relationship. Learning to recognize a triangle and how to manage it is essential to being a non-anxious leader. Show Notes: Kathleen Smith, PhD, LPC Read the Full Transcript on The Non-Anxious Leader website.  Subscribe to my weekly  ⁠Two for Tuesday⁠  emails.

Understanding the nuances of emotional process will make you a better leader. These four tips will help. Show Notes: The Center for Family Process The Center for Pastoral Effectiveness in the Rockies The Family Systems Institute The Bowen Center for the Study of the Family Tending the Fire Lombard Mennonite Peace Center Subscribe to my weekly  ⁠Two for Tuesday⁠  emails.

Surrounding togetherness pressure makes it hard to self-differentiate. Understanding how this works and how you can respond will help you to be a non-anxious leader. Show Notes: Dr. Kathleen Smith Subscribe to my weekly  ⁠Two for Tuesday⁠  emails.

The political, cultural and theological divisions continue to widen. A non-anxious leader understands why AND how to respond. Show Notes: The Center for Family Process Only My Opinion Counts: Myside Bias by Jamie Hale, M.S. The Bias That Divides Us: The Science and Politics of Myside Thinking by Keith E. Stanovich Subscribe to my weekly  ⁠Two for Tuesday⁠  emails.

Self-differentiation is acting in accordance with your goals and values, especially in anxious moments. This episode shows you how, as well as what to do when you don't. Show Notes: Anxious Church, Anxious People: How to Lead Change in an Age of Anxiety  If You Met My Family, You'd Understand: A Family Systems Primer Subscribe to my weekly  ⁠Two for Tuesday⁠  emails.

The emotional intensity that comes from being super-serious can turn a challenge into a problem. Likewise, when we react automatically to the anxiety of others, it can make a bad situation worse. This episode digs into why this is the case and what you can do about it. Show Notes: Anxious Church, Anxious People: How to Lead Change in an Age of Anxiety  If You Met My Family, You'd Understand: A...

Recognizing emotional process will not only help you avoid getting stuck, it will enable you to persist through the inevitable sabotage that comes when you are leading change. Show Notes: Anxious Church, Anxious People: How to Lead Change in an Age of Anxiety  If You Met My Family, You'd Understand: A Family Systems Primer Subscribe to my weekly  ⁠Two for Tuesday⁠  emails.

The key to effective leadership is the ability to remain a non-anxious presence. Understanding triangles, as well as how to manage them, makes this easier. Show Notes: Anxious Church, Anxious People: How to Lead Change in an Age of Anxiety  If You Met My Family, You'd Understand: A Family Systems Primer Subscribe to my weekly  ⁠Two for Tuesday⁠  emails.

We often hide in the safety of groups rather than risk the vulnerability of self-differentiating in one-on-one interactions. Here's why, as well as how you can do better. Show Notes: De-clumping Our Relationships by Kathleen Smith PhD Subscribe to my weekly  ⁠Two for Tuesday⁠  emails.

Anxiety feels bad but there's a reason for this. Once we're able to understand this, we can experience its benefits. Here's how. Show Notes: It’s time to reframe our thoughts around anxiety. Here’s how to use it productively Future Tense: Why Anxiety Is Good for You (Even Though It Feels Bad) by  Tracy Dennis-Tiwary PhD Subscribe to my weekly  ⁠Two for Tuesday⁠  emails.

Emotional intelligence and self-differentiation go hand-in-hand. Here are six ways EQ can help you be a non-anxious leader. Show Notes: 6 Super Effective Ways to Show Your Emotional Intelligence at Work by Marcel Schwantes Episode 122: How Emotional Intelligence Helps You to Be a Non-Anxious Presence (Part 1 of 2) Episode 123: How Emotional Intelligence Helps You to Be a Non-Anxious Presence (Part...

Self-differentiation doesn't happen automatically or from just studying family systems theory. It takes regular reflection and preparation so you act with integrity in moment of choice. These questions can help you. Show Notes: Becoming More Responsible to a Chaotic World (May 26, 2022) by Dr. Kathleen Smith Family Systems 101 Subscribe to my weekly  ⁠Two for Tuesday⁠  emails.