The Non-Anxious Leader Podcast

Our movement toward "therapeutic culture" has made people less resilient. This episode explains how that happened and what you can do about it as a leader. Show Notes: Hey, America, Grow Up! by David Brooks Read the Full Transcript on The Non-Anxious Leader website. Subscribe to my weekly  ⁠Two for Tuesday⁠  emails.

Self-differentiation requires the ability to self-regulate, then act in accordance with your goals and values. Here's how mindfulness can help you do this. Show Notes: 5 Rituals To Keep You Happy All The Time by Eric Barker Why I Invited Myself to a Wedding by Jack Shitama Read the Full Transcript on The Non-Anxious Leader website. Subscribe to my weekly  ⁠Two for Tuesday⁠  emails.

Self-differentiation is more than just being a non-anxious presence in anxious situations. It’s about building deeper, healthier relationships. This episode shows you how. Show Notes: The conversational habits that build better connections  by David Robson Read the Full Transcript on The Non-Anxious Leader website. Subscribe to my weekly  ⁠Two for Tuesday⁠  emails.

Many, if not most of us, procrastinate. However, for some this can really be disruptive. Psychologists suggest that childhood trauma can be at the root of procrastination. This episode unpacks that concept from a family systems perspective. Show Notes: How Procrastination Can Reflect Childhood Experience by Peg Streep Generation to Generation: Family Process in Church and Synagogue by Edwin Friedm...

Non-anxious leaders know the importance of boundaries and how to set them. This episode can help you do this better. Show Notes: Your boundaries set you free by Brian Stout Episode 230: How to Say “No” as a Non-Anxious Presence Read the Full Transcript on The Non-Anxious Leader website. Subscribe to my weekly  ⁠Two for Tuesday⁠  emails.

Self-differentiating, taking responsibility for self, can be hard when others respond by defining and blaming you. This is sabotage. Here are three steps to respond effectively. Show Notes: Generation to Generation: Family Process in Church and Synagogue by Edwin Friedman* A Failure of Nerve: Leadership in the Age of the Quick Fix by Edwin Friedman* Subscribe to my weekly Two for Tuesday emails. R...

According to Edwin Friedman, one of the characteristics of a chronically anxious society is the desire to seek safety instead of adventure. Non-anxious leaders seek adventure and learn to love it. Here's how. Show Notes: The Light We Carry: Overcoming in Uncertain Times by Michelle Obama A Failure of Nerve, Revised Edition: Leadership in the Age of the Quick Fix by Edwin Friedman Read the Full...

We often focus on what others should be doing as a way to manage our own anxiety and avoid taking responsibility for self. Here's what defining others looks like and how we can do better. Show Notes: How We End Up Fixating On Others' Immaturity by Kathleen Smith Episode 211: Level 5 Leaders and Self-Differentiation Read the Full Transcript on The Non-Anxious Leader website. Subscribe to my...

How often does surrounding togetherness pressure cause you to second guess yourself? Self-differentiation increases confidence because you trust yourself more. Here's how it works. Show Notes: Dr. Alison Cook Read the Full Transcript on The Non-Anxious Leader website. Subscribe to my weekly ⁠ Two for Tuesday⁠  emails.

We were planning to host our family over Memorial Day Weekend for my Mom's 100th Birthday when my wife and I tested postive for COVID. Here's how we handled it. Show Notes: Episode 183: A COVID Family Reunion – A Case Study CBS News Story on my Mom Picture from our 2023 Family Reunion Read the Full Transcript on The Non-Anxious Leader website. Subscribe to my weekly ⁠ Two for Tuesday⁠  ema...

If you want to make an impact, you have do things that are important, but not urgent. This means being able to say "No" to many things. Here's how to do it. Show Notes: Cup of Empathy by Marianne van Dijk Read the Full Transcript on The Non-Anxious Leader website. Subscribe to my weekly  ⁠Two for Tuesday⁠  emails.

Non-anxious leaders know how to create and maintain healthy emotional space in their relationships. This episode explains what that is, why it's important and how to do it. Show Notes: The Cycle of Overfunctioning and Distancing by Kathleen Smith Read the Full Transcript on The Non-Anxious Leader website. Subscribe to my weekly  ⁠Two for Tuesday⁠  emails.

An emotionally mature culture is a non-anxious culture. Systems that function this way are more resilient and adaptive in the face of inevitable challenges. Here's how you can foster this kind of culture. Show Notes: The Emotionally Mature Organization from The Bowen Center's "Family Matters" series. Read the Full Transcript on The Non-Anxious Leader website. Subscribe to my week...

Edwin Friedman described five characteristics of systems that promote burnout among their leaders. Understanding this can help you avoid the same fate. Part 1 goes through the characteristics. Part 2 helps leaders respond appropriately. Show Notes: Generation to Generation: Family Process in Church and Synagogue Read the Full Transcript on The Non-Anxious Leader website. Subscribe to my weekly  ⁠T...

Edwin Friedman described five characteristics of systems that promote burnout among their leaders. Understanding this can help you avoid the same fate. Part 1 goes through the characteristics. Part 2 helps leaders respond appropriately. Show Notes: Generation to Generation: Family Process in Church and Synagogue Read the Full Transcript on The Non-Anxious Leader website. Subscribe to my weekly  ⁠T...

Focus is being able to say "No" to things that are good, but may distract you from your most important work. Here are three ways to say "No" that will help you to self-differentiate. Show Notes: 3 Ways to Say No Without Feeling Like a Jerk, Backed by Interpersonal Relationship Science by Jeff Haden Read the Full Transcript on The Non-Anxious Leader website. Subscribe to my week...

To grow as non-anxious leader, you need to learn how to self-differentiate in your most difficult relationships. This episode covers five things that will help you to do this. Show Notes: How to Set Boundaries With a Difficult Family Member by Catherine Pearson Set Boundaries, Find Peace: A Guide to Reclaiming Yourself by Nedra Glover Tawwab Drama Free: A Guide to Managing Unhealthy Family Relatio...

Being a non-anxious presence doesn't come naturally. Here's what you can do to better prepare for difficult situations. Show Notes: People With High Emotional Intelligence Use 5 Simple Words to Become Exceptionally Persuasive by Bill Murphy Jr. Read the Full Transcript on The Non-Anxious Leader website. Subscribe to my weekly  ⁠Two for Tuesday⁠  emails.

Understanding emotional process helps us to see how people deal with uncertainty and anxiety. This enables us to be less anxious and judgmental, as well as more compassionate. This episode shows you how. Show Notes: The Circle of Why by Kathleen Smith Read the Full Transcript on The Non-Anxious Leader website. Subscribe to my weekly  ⁠Two for Tuesday⁠  emails.

Trust is a key factor in effective leadership. This episode shows how leadership through self-differentiation makes this possible. Show Notes: 7 common qualities of credible people by Gwen Moran The SPEED of Trust: The One Thing That Changes Everything by Stephen M.R. Covey Read the Full Transcript on The Non-Anxious Leader website. Subscribe to my weekly  ⁠Two for Tuesday⁠  emails.

Learning to deal with challenges, whether external or self-inflicted, involves taking responsibility for self. When we do this we increase our ability to respond to change and uncertainty. Show Notes: The episode incorrectly notes it was recorded on Sunday, March 25 but, in fact, was recorded on Sunday, March 26. Read the Full Transcript on The Non-Anxious Leader website. Subscribe to my weekly  ⁠...

How we respond to challenge and crisis is a big factor in whether we will survive and even thrive. These three factors come from a lecture that Edwin Friedman gave in 1985. Show Notes: Generation to Generation: Family Process in Church and Synagogue The Center for Family Process Read the Full Transcript on The Non-Anxious Leader website. Subscribe to my weekly  ⁠Two for Tuesday⁠  emails.

A Non-Anxious Leader knows the difference between a threat and a boundary. This episode goes through five differences, as described by Marianne van Dijk, and unpacks the family systems elements of each. Show Notes: cupofempathy.com Read the Full Transcript on The Non-Anxious Leader website.  Subscribe to my weekly  ⁠Two for Tuesday⁠  emails.

The United Methodist Church is on the verge of splitting over human sexuality. This is Part 3 of my conversation with Rev. Loren Richmond Jr. on his Future Christian Podcast. Loren asked me to join him to discuss The UMC from a family systems perspective. Loren also asks me some interesting questions, such as, what I would do if I were Pope for a day. Show Notes: Future Christian Podcast My first...

The United Methodist Church is on the verge of splitting over human sexuality. This is Part 2 of my conversation with Rev. Loren Richmond Jr. on his Future Christian Podcast. Loren asked me to join him to discuss The UMC from a family systems perspective. Show Notes: Future Christian Podcast My first appearance on Future Christian Podcast from 2020 Read the Full Transcript on The Non-Anxious Leade...