The Luke and Pete Show

The lads dive into Trump’s latest inauguration, debating whether keeping it indoors was a strategic move to dodge an embarrassingly small crowd, while applauding Michelle Obama for swerving the whole thing entirely and setting a new standard in #NotMyProblem energy. Then, they lay out their own presidential plans—starting with an executive order to ban raspberry yoghurts nationwide. Elsewhere, Pet...

Pete’s buzzing about his latest gadget obsession, which Luke says is just filling “a hole in his soul.” Meanwhile, Luke takes a nostalgic dive into 'Big Break', the 90s snooker-based TV gem featuring awkward catchphrases, deadpan co-hosts, and a young Ronnie O’Sullivan’s debut. Then, the chat veers into a debate on archiving lost media and Pete’s dad’s illegal but oddly impressive DVD stash. Plus,...

Have you ever written a diss track about someone? What about someone who’s in the same band as you and is then forced to play that song every night for years on end? It’s happened to Fleetwood Mac, and it could soon happen to us… We spend half of today's show getting distracted by the 1989 BRIT Awards, wonder what films scare children and get through a few (awful) battery submissions. Not as many...

With a particular story dominating Pete’s consciousness this week, there’s only one place we could start: penis enlargement surgery. Happy Monday! Elsewhere, Pete’s sporting a new haircut courtesy of a random shopkeeper, we put the music world to rights and a listener has documented the *exact* moment they realised they weren’t young anymore. Anyone else heard of Bloc Party? Email: hello@lukeandpe...

Today, the lads dive into the perplexing world of rattan furniture: What is it made of? Why is it so expensive? And why was Luke’s cat, Jasper, so obsessed with it? Pete then shares a story about his dad randomly bringing home a snooker table and a bag of balls, sparking a debate about the most inconvenient gifts (spoiler: Luke once sent someone a box of crickets). Elsewhere, Pete declares that th...

It’s a chaotic start to the week as Pete confesses to accidentally installing a secret camera in an Airbnb, while Luke can’t resist another dig at Jake Humphrey’s “sexy chat.” Elsewhere, Pete considers taking wrestling classes as his January fitness fix and reveals some questionable dessert choices - dog cake and Baileys-flavoured squirty cream, anyone? Plus, a listener’s bizarre Airbnb tale and a...

Today, Pete can’t stop raving about WD40, while Luke ponders how parenting life has crushed his spontaneity. Then, the lads debate nap time efficiency, the dread of “circling back in the new year,” and whether cash really is king...should we really be handing a stack of cash straight to the doctor? Elsewhere, Pete pitches "Lukey in Lagos", a foolproof idea for Luke to become a YouTube sensation, w...

This week, Donny shares how his infamous “C*** mug” kept making surprise appearances during adoption meetings, leading to a frantic mug switcheroo every time it landed in the wrong hands. Of course, this sparks a full-on mug-off: Who’s got the best collection? Does Luke have a serious mug hoarding problem? And why does tea taste better from a stolen mug? The lads then turn their attention to the g...

Thanks to a LAPS in judgement regarding the use of protection spells, both Pete and Luke were cursed by the lurgy witch over Christmas, which means they couldn't record the final episode of 2024. Never fear, they're starting a brand new year with some great brand new stories (that MI6 agent who zipped himself into a sports bag in a bath in Pimlico). Hello@LukeandPeteShow.com if you've had a memora...

Today, the lads put the piss in precipice as they bid farewell to 2024! Pete shares the tale of throwing his shoulder out while shadowboxing to impress the wife he has access to, while Luke issues an important year-end reminder: never trust a man selling both a car battery and a deli block of cheese. Plus, listener emails bring plenty of laughs, including one poor soul’s cold shower encounter feat...

Happy Boxing Day! Hope you and yours are having a smashing festive week - certainly more than a listener who emailed in with a shudderingly cringe Christmas proposal story… We then celebrate Christmas in the only way we know how: by charting the bizarre history of Lads’ mags and sifting through some disappointing battery submissions.  Email: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or you can get in touch o...

Luke’s been drooling all over himself on the train up to some important meetings - nice. Speaking of drooling (stay with us), Pete has some truly lovely news to share…  We also get to the very bottom of the TikTok algorithm, continue to snoop on listeners’ LinkedIn profiles and take some fish to be fried.  Email: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or you can get in touch on X , Threads or Instagr...

After inadvertently being poisoned by Pete, Luke finds the time to update us on his recent quest to deliver Christmas gifts to the bloke who owned his house. It has taken a depressingly predictable turn.  James McCartney also continues to astound - you’re a grown man, James - and we get more details on the Nugget Power Hour. Plus, we try to ensure this week’s battery selection has a festive f...

Today, the lads unwrap the baffling Christmas tradition of ‘Hide the Pickle’, courtesy of a listener email. But the real showstopper? Luke can barely contain his excitement as he recounts the heroic tale of how he saved Christmas! Then, Donny steps into the spotlight as an unexpected Christmas tree connoisseur. Elsewhere, Pete shares his love for Skunk Anansie’s Post Orgasmic Chill—and his equally...

Luke and Pete endlessly trudge through snow, hail and the bodies of deceased pets to bring you another slice of precisely nothing. It's the Luke and Pete show, baby! We need your Christmas tales, like Christmas pudding needs brandy: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com for tales of festive cheers, beers and rears. The Luke and Pete Show is the sometimes ridiculous, always funny podcast with Luke Moore and Pe...

It’s an email special! We’re down to *only* thirty-three pages of unread emails, so let’s dive into the bulging postbag for a rummage around. We’re talking things that make us proud to be British (spoiler: not many), which way to go down a Japanese escalator and how you’d go about eating a McDonald’s nugget every minute for an hour.   Rest assured, we also recap Pete’s interview techniqu...

Ever wondered how to future-proof your wardrobe? Simple: just buy the same two shirts in every single possible size, to account for life’s weight fluctuations. Foolproof, even at Christmas! We recap Luke’s awkward but enjoyable night at a recent awards show, and trace Pete’s recent skirmish with some debt collection agencies. Stay tuned for our totally legitimate advice on how to deal with them -...

Luke rings in December with a festive jingle before Pete takes the reins dissecting Coca-Cola’s AI-driven Christmas ad, questioning why AI can’t just handle the boring stuff to free us up for creative brilliance. Elsewhere, Pete contemplates picking up a microwave from the Aldi centre aisle—a move that would delight Luke’s centre-aisle-obsessed wife. And if that’s not enough, the lads get fired up...

In true Donny fashion, Pete kicks things off with his latest barber saga – complete with language barriers, dodgy clippers, and a room so hot you’d melt. Luke spots all the red flags and raises the vital question: Was Pete’s haircut done by a shop watcher instead of an actual barber? Probably... but hey, anything for good content! Plus, Pete reveals that he’s officially hung up his tinkering hat a...

Today, Pete’s wrestling with a truly 'hypothetical' dilemma: if banished to the apology cabin by the partner he has access to, could he use his 3D printer to cook sausages and reinvent himself as Heston Blumenthal 2.0? Naturally, Luke is on hand to help him evaluate this groundbreaking culinary experiment. Meanwhile, Luke takes a deep dive into the BBC’s Boyband documentary, offering his take on i...

Luke’s back from a magical fly-fishing trip to Scotland, but not without drama—his plans were almost derailed by the dirtiest car boys in the game: National Car Rental. Meanwhile, Luke vents about a loud admin-loving woman in the quiet carriage, and Pete casually points out a simple solution: noise-cancelling headphones. Revolutionary, really.  And naturally, the lads can’t resist a bit of fa...

Today on the show, Pete’s getting a little too obsessed with his mitre saw, feeling all powerful like…hold up, Jesus? Are we hearing that right? The lads dive deep into another Jesus convo, but this time, they’re brainstorming how he could really stamp out any doubt about his existence. Could he pull a Taylor Swift on us and pop up at a gig? Or bless his disciples with 12 shiny new treadmills? May...

The lads kick off by confessing their celebrity crushes, starting strong with Denzel Washington before honourable mentions go to Mr Tumble - and, yes - Pete even declares his affection for Johnny 5 from Short Circuit. From there, it’s onto iconic 80s movies, leading to the ultimate question: what truly defined coolness in the 80s? Their answer: eating raw jelly, and biscuits straight from the pack...

Pete amazingly starts today’s show by revealing that he likes Monday mornings. So Luke comes to one conclusion… Pete is turning into Stewy Donaldson! Elsewhere, Luke and Pete learn all about home fries aka the act of bringing your own fish fillet to the fish and chip shop. Plus, Luke tells Pete that he recently got into an accident on his Lime bike. Don’t worry, it’s not as dramatic as it sounds…...

Today, the lads take on the entertainment world, covering everything from Mr Tumble to Homeland, and how 80s TV stars keep walking into radio gigs. Luke asks if Pete’s ever thought about acting, but Pete’s not convinced he’d remember his lines - until he has a brainwave: films would be wrapped up much faster if actors just had earpieces feeding them their lines. We’re looking at you, Marlon Brando...