The Luke and Pete Show

There’s nothing quite like fixing something with your bare hands, as Luke will attest. Boiler 0, Mr Moore 1. Under the microscope today are topics including football both real and fantasy, the exhausting nature of throwing a punch, Metallica’s weird drum sounds and Luke’s recent trip to the Lake District. Plus, Pete drinks blueberries out of a Minions cup. Send us your latest stories, questions an...

Ever broken into the lead singer of Silverchair's house, stolen a skateboard and gone riding down the street beer in hand after the greatest success of your career? We kick things off with one of the best post-game celebration sessions you'll ever see. Plus, Pete inadvertently gets made to look like a fervent Ed Sheeran supporter while his own story gets corrected by a listener, and we unv...

Recent geopolitical events have got Pete wondering whether he could successfully land a plane - any guesses for the response from a technologically capable man riddled with self doubt? Other topics of bemusement: how aggressively Pete was ripped off at an expensive zoo, the ghost of Edwin Starr and seeing your patients when you're a GP at the bookies. Just another unplanned half an hour of rip...

How does Pete feel about manly embraces with Luke? And what does his hug attitude say about his relationship with commitment? Much to think about. Once that’s been dealt with, it’s time for a chat about laundry duties, kids’ parties and Luke’s days working shifts in Asda as an intensely hungover 18-year-old. He simply could not keep his hands off that “whoops” gun. Finally, Pete tells the story of...

It’s exactly what it sounds like. Pete’s recently acquired a gilet and we’re going to talk about it, but not before your esteemed hosts reflect on how frightening children’s media used to be (and the ubiquity of weird men in said media). Also on the agenda today: a discussion centring on Tom Skinner’s mental health walks, a crushing Sunday league defeat and Luke’s theory on the origin of various u...

This fine Monday brings with it tales of Luke and Pete’s respective relationships with the devil’s lettuce, as well as a very nasty internet comment about Mr Donaldson’s home. It’s not big and it’s not clever, but we will devote a fair amount of time talking about it. Elsewhere on today’s show, Pete’s mention of his bum-based insecurity sparks a minor debate about nightwear and Luke makes clear hi...

We’re kicking off today’s proceedings with a jaunt down a very Scottish memory lane, as Luke and Pete reflect on Dundee’s greatest export: the comics of DC Thomson. Those poor Broons were always getting taken advantage of, bless them. Plus, Pete’s recent stay in Bath prompts a discussion concerning publishing, audiobooks and, naturally, Elon Musk’s big ol’ chest. Finally, and most importantly, Luk...

Because Ed Sheeran’s got no moral backbone and all the supporting artists have sacked his tour off, we’re here with unsolicited and unhelpful advice for the big man. No problem mate, always here to help. Plus: the lunch strategies of middle-aged working men, some deserved Pete praise that leaves him very uncomfortable and one of the most haphazard limo journeys we’ve ever heard. Send us your lates...

That’s it, we’ve decided that making fridges is far too easy now. Your favourite LAPS dancers are back to check in with the enshittification of modern life. At least Luke’s been growing ample fauna in his new garden. We also run roughshod over modern skincare routines, assess cockroach infestation sleeping tactics and hear of some nuclear-grade small talk from Donaldson.  Send us your latest...

Luke and Pete have got AI on the brain again and this time Anthropic and their public admissions of terrifying stuff are to blame. Chatbots, therapy from a computer, the end of civilisation – we’re getting through it all today. Plus, it’s time to crunch through a couple of emails. The first concerns a deeply unpleasant act committed in Pete’s own Leigh-on-Sea. The second? Stinky men who are stinky...

We open proceedings with Mr Pete Donaldson telling his good friend Luke E. Moore about his trip to Poland, during which a woman was rude to him. Did he have an indie weekend? Listen to find out. Elsewhere on today’s show, we hear about Pete’s plan to become an air-based digital nomad, Luke talks about his recently acquired diatomaceous earth powder and the good (bad) people of Reddit make their fe...

We kick off today’s show with a question of vital importance. What would be the most embarrassing song to be found listening to when you died? Luke and Pete name their picks. Speaking of music, a certain big name actor has just released an album with a highly-respected hip-hop supergroup and Luke’s got some thoughts on the matter. He also tells a lovely tale concerning a nerd and a far-flung phone...

It’s been a while since Luke and Pete chewed the fat, so naturally a run-down on Pete’s health is in order. How are the lungs? Is he off the caffeine? What news from disease deadline day? On a wholly different note, Luke relays the tale of his trip to the boxing at the O2, which perhaps unsurprisingly featured a small man being thrown out of a drinking establishment for bad behaviour. Finally, Jac...

We’re going big on broadcasting on today’s episode, as Luke permits himself a bit of own-horn tooting vis-à-vis his versatility as a broadcaster and Pete gets asked about the best presenters he’s ever worked with. Mr Donaldson also recounts a shocking tale of radio betrayal. Elsewhere, Luke gets made a disgusting cup of tea, we learn more about Austrian hotdogs and there’s a sensational listener s...

Football’s back, baby. Luke’s focus right now, though, is less on the games themselves and more on his anthropological fascination with the group dynamics found among young blokes heading to and at the match. A chat ensues about this sort of “cosplaying” more generally. Plus, there’s an eclipse to discuss and Pete’s been to some local wasteland to get a hard drive off a boy. No other way of puttin...

Being a parent to a small child is fraught with challenges, whether it be an unexpected early morning height-mogging by a tall dad or having to endure the dreadful, flustered driving of other parents as they take their own kids to and from nursery. On today’s show, Luke and Pete exchange these stories before moving on to subjects such as white guys with dreadlocks, drab contemporary political sati...

Pete’s feeling the siren call of a tiny pressure cooker and Luke’s wondering why John Terry would bother ringing in to TalkSport to defend his footballing legacy. On a different note entirely, the American contingent of Luke’s family has been to visit. Maybe big Sainsbury’s is as exciting to them as L.L.Bean is to us? That said, you can’t buy canoes and firearms at Sainsbury’s. Finally, it’s time...

Pete recently spent half a monkey on a hotel and went to see some atrocious stand-up. Luke’s reminded of the time he saw Van Morrison completely phone it in on stage. Also up for discussion today is the business of footballers’ eye-watering car insurance and Luke’s reservations about the expertise of vets. After that, it’s time to rattle through a veritable raft of emails, including one concerning...

The UK is experiencing its millionth heatwave of the summer and the world is on fire but at least a lot of shareholder value is being generated. On today’s show, Pete regales us with stories from a day out in London which took him to the Tate Modern and into contact with the work of an avant-garde Guatemalan artist. He just couldn’t take his eyes off one particular installation. Plus, Gary Vee’s a...

A hankering for fish on a stick can take you to strange places, as Pete recently discovered. It’s a bleak tale, but at least he’s not turning blue like that bloke who kept drinking silver. We get into that on today’s show - plus, we devote some time to the work of Jimmy Cricket, consider Pete’s dad’s newest obsessions and cast aspersions on the effectiveness of the Heimlich manoeuvre. Send us your...

Pete’s got a vest on and isn’t sure he’s a large enough man to carry it off. The ever-supportive Luke disagrees. Today we’re reflecting on the glory of the hotdog, the infantilisation of the modern man and the preponderance of wrong’uns in emo bands. Plus, Pete’s twin passions may leave him in a rarefied bubble. Send us your latest stories, questions and comments here: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com ....

Bizarre stories abound on today’s show as Luke recollects when a load of covert overseas Chinese “police stations” were found in the UK and Pete details a data encoding furore from the 1990s. Plus, we learn what both the guys’ outrageous scientific claim would be to make a quick buck and disappear before the ruse was discovered. Finally, it’s email time yet again and there’s a lovely prom van to h...

Buckle up, everyone, it’s learning time and we’re getting to the bottom of some mysteries. Why don’t animals have green fur? Why does Luke respect Pete as a broadcaster? You’re about to find out the answers to both. Plus, Luke details his heated phone call to Thames Water, Pete’s knees are shot to bits and we have a new history book of the week. Send us your latest stories, questions and comments...

It’s a tech-heavy one today. Luke’s suckling on the teet of Apple’s Tim Cook, Pete’s bought yet another esoteric Chinese phone and together the guys have devised a breakthrough sleep-monitoring application. Stop moaning, user, you’ve had a great night’s kip. Elsewhere on yet another toasty Monday show: Pete’s been flouting the no-eating laws of the studio, Luke’s knackered from throwing his son ab...

Luke reckons Jude Bellingham’s handsomeness is going underreported, Pete’s got iTunes on the brain and Mitch McConnell is having to prove he’s still alive. And that’s just the first five minutes of today’s show. Elsewhere, Luke’s just watched some good vox pops and Pete has a disgusting idea for a get-rich-quick scheme. Finally, we’ve got listener correspondence concerning batteries, melons and (p...