The Heart of Grief

Send us Fan Mail Over our past 7 episodes, we have focused on what we refer to as the top 6 most unhelpful ideas about dealing with loss. We did this because we wanted to acknowledge the most common and universal ways that we have been socialized to manage grief, and to expose the inherent failure of these approaches to bring about the emotional resolution we’re looking for. Of course, after heari...

Send us Fan Mail When loss has left us with lingering pain or regret, a common response is to engage in some distracting activity. We call these activities Short Term Energy Relieving Behaviors. Lorri and Brian explain why we have this tendency and why STERBs only prolong the pain of grief. When we recognize that STERBs provide only an illusion of benefit, we can choose to take a path toward long...

Send us Fan Mail Last in our Top 6 Most Unhelpful Ideas for Dealing with Loss, we're talking about the almost universal response of getting and staying busy. There are, without doubt, some genuinely helpful outcomes from keeping our energies focused on activity. What we want to bring attention to is the problem of busyness taking the place of the inner work of grief, which is addressing the u...

Send us Fan Mail In this first, full, Questions of Faith edition of The Heart of Grief, Brian interviews Chaplain John Moreman from the Chinook Regional Hospital in Lethbridge Alberta. John shares five of the most often asked questions that have come to him over his more than 20 years of Chaplaincy work. -email: feedback@theheartofgrief.com -paper mail: The Heart of Grief C/O Martin Brother Funera...

Send us Fan Mail “Be Strong” is a message that calls grievers to somehow deny the normal human feelings of vulnerability, fear and inadequacy at times of difficult loss. We will examine the unhelpful view of strength behind this idea and explain why it is not beneficial in loss, nor true to our humanity. Proposition: By giving due recognition and attention to our human frailties, we are able to le...

Send us Fan Mail We will be talking about the 4th of our Top 6 Most Unhelpful ideas about grief list, "Just Give it time" or "Time heals all wounds." Though this may be the most common suggestion given to grievers, and is normally given with genuine, good intentions, it may also be the most unhelpful. We will explain why this is; what time is not good for and what it is good fo...

Send us Fan Mail We will be focusing on one more of the top 6, most unhelpful ways to deal with grief, replacing the loss. We'll examine the common tendency to avoid dealing directly with the very difficult emotions of loss by redirecting our attention to substitute things, people or activities. By avoiding the temptation to choose distracting substitutes at times of loss, we give ourselves t...

Send us Fan Mail We believe that people have a spiritual nature. Our spiritual side is both affected by loss, and an important factor in how we deal with loss. In episode Zero, Brian will be providing a brief rationale for our periodic, Questions of Faith sessions. A general outline of what can be expected will be provided. Brian comes from a Christian perspective and will approach this topic from...

Send us Fan Mail In this episode we want to examine a very common response to a loss, choosing to grieve alone. We’ll talk about why this is so common and why it is not helpful. According to our program design, we will offer some practical ideas on how to move out of isolation into community. We will discuss the added difficulties presented by the covid-19 pandemic. We feature an interview with Ch...

Send us Fan Mail In this, our first, full episode, we will discuss the grief that results from changes and endings of various kinds. The covid-19 restrictions, concerns and uncertainties have created many losses in our lives that we would do well to recognize as grief events. Normal, grief responses should be expected. We examine how many of the typical ways we respond to loss and common messages...

Send us Fan Mail Episode Zero is an introduction to our new podcast, The Heart of Grief. Lorri Penner and I, Brian Magee, are recovering grievers and active Certified Grief Recovery Specialists®  We are educators, not therapists or psychologists. We are journeyed guides who walk the path of recovery through a method that truly makes a difference to hurting hearts. We invite you to  join us. We wil...