The Heart of Grief

Send us Fan Mail The Grief Recovery Handbook calls it one of the most misunderstood ideas in the world. Forgiveness is a concept widely recognized for its power and importance. Unfortunately it is frequently missed out on due to wrong ideas about what it is and what it is intended to do. In this episode, Brian unpacks the misunderstandings and the true intent of forgiveness and invites listeners t...

Send us Fan Mail In this edition of our Questions of Faith  program, Brian will be sharing part one of two of an interview he had recently with a  professional colleague who has been living for years with chronic, debilitating illness. We’re going to talk about finding God in the midst of suffering. 

Send us Fan Mail Brian interviews a colleague and fellow Grief Recovery Method Specialist®, Trudie Slomp. Trudie is a retired nurse, and a grandmother who felt a desire to help fellow grievers find genuine healing. The Grief Recovery® Personal Program gave Trudie effective steps to experience personal recovery from loss. The Certification Training has provided her with the tools she was seeking in...

Send us Fan Mail Maybe you've heard something like "Don't feel bad, God is with you," and though you do believe God is with you, you still felt bad, or even worse somehow. If so, you're not alone, and this episode is for you. How should faith in a God who loves, contribute to my emotional healing? Brian believes that faith should not attempt to dismiss the pain of loss wit...

Send us Fan Mail Learning how to lose; how can we help our kids learn well? In Dec. 2020 Lorri and Brian recorded a program introducing the topic of children and grief. They shared 7 points on helping grieving children. You may wish to listen to that. In this episode, Brian revisits this topic with special emphasis  on three ways we adults can  model good grieving for the young people in our lives...

Send us Fan Mail What do children learn about loss? In this episode Brian explains how, for most of us, our early learning has not prepared  us well for handling loss.  The emphasis of our upbringing is on getting and keeping things. As a result, we are poorly equipped emotionally for the many losses that life throws our way. Consistent with our program style, Brian shares from his own life experi...

Send us Fan Mail After more than two years away, The Heart of Grief is back.  As Lorri's new job does not allow her the time needed for the podcast, Brian will be running solo for the foreseeable future. In this first episode of Season 3, Brian will be addressing the challenges of grief in separation and divorce. We define grief as "The conflicting emotions caused by the end of or change...

Send us Fan Mail Sometimes circumstances surrounding a loss can leave us feeling guilty. At least that is the word that comes to mind to describe our feelings. Brian and Lorri talk about why guilt is often not an accurate term for describing our feelings and not a helpful concept for our grief journey. Lorri and Brian explain why this is, and offer alternate language for successful navigation thro...

Send us Fan Mail Someone you care about has experienced a difficult loss. You know you’re going to be seeing them at the funeral or work or church and you don’t have a clue what you’re going to say. We’ve all been faced with situations like this. It can be very stressful. In spite of our perhaps secret wishes to the contrary, we will eventually see them, and we want to act and speak in a way that...

Send us Fan Mail When someone close to us dies, we grieve. We all understand that. However, we all encounter many other loss events that leave us feeling sad in ways that are like a death. It’s important to acknowledge these losses as bereavement events and to respond to them in accurate, helpful ways. Lorri and Brian discuss some of the more than 40 losses that can come our way and explain why ad...

Send us Fan Mail This is the first episode of our Second Season for the Heart of Grief. Most people have heard something about grief as being experienced in a predictable series of stages. At least there is a  theory that this is the case. Anyone who  has been through an introductory psychology course either in High School or college will be familiar with the acronym  DABDA. This comes from the re...

Send us Fan Mail In this short, solo re-mix episode, Brian revisits the topic of unresolved grief. When all the normal reactions, activities, ceremonies, responsibilities, and adjustments have taken place following a loss, there is sometimes a deep pain that continues with us. It is important to distinguish between the usual sadness over a loss and this enduring pain. Brian explains how to recogni...

Send us Fan Mail This program is a re-take of two of our previous episodes dealing with common, yet unhelfpful ideas. “Be Strong” is a message that calls grievers to somehow deny the normal human feelings of vulnerability, fear and inadequacy at times of difficult loss. Our call is to be more real. The suggestion "Just Give it time" is normally offered with genuine, good intentions, howe...

Send us Fan Mail This is a remix of an earlier episode about how children deal with loss. We believe that the way we deal with loss as adults is significantly influenced by childhood experiences.  This then becomes the pattern for helping the children in our lives. That makes this topic relevant for all of us, first in understanding our own grief responses, then in how we care for the children nea...

Send us Fan Mail This short episode is a re-mix of our previous program on the problem of isolation in grief. We review why grieving alone is such a common occurrance among grievers and recognize how the covid-19 pandemic restrictions have made this even more difficult an issue.  As always, we offer suggestions on how to address this tendency and an invitation to some helpful choices. -email: feed...

Send us Fan Mail This is a re-mixed, shortened edition of our first, full episode. The ongoing and morphing covid-19 restrictions continue to create change and uncertainties, leading to many losses in our lives. Normal, grief responses are to be expected. We examine how many of the typical ways we respond to loss and common messages we receive, are not helpful. We underscore the importance of ackn...

Send us Fan Mail Our regular podcasting work has been on a bit of a hiatus for over a month. This has been due to a combination of extra busyness (both Lorri and Brian), a period of emotional and creative fatigue (mostly Brian), and a nasty bout of covid-19 infection, including huge post-infection fatigue (all Lorri). We love the work we do providing grief recovery programs that bring genuine help...

Send us Fan Mail How we view God will affect how our faith affects our experiences of loss. Our last Questions of Faith show was part 2 of an interview that Brian had with Michael Rose. For Mike’s “Something to think about” offering, he invited us to consider a new view of God. In particular, how we view the fundamental nature of God in his approach to mankind. Do we see God as harsh or distant; o...

Send us Fan Mail With the major winter holiday season upon us, we want to address the challenges of carrying grief at a time when the world’s prevailing sentiments are normally joy and celebration. This is difficult for grievers any year. This year the extra difficulties introduced by the covid-19 pandemic simply add to the losses and multiply the sadness. We recognize this very unusual context th...

Send us Fan Mail In this short, solo episode, Brian explains unresolved grief. When all the normal reactions, activities, ceremonies, responsibilities, and adjustments have taken place following a loss, there is sometimes a deep pain that continues with us. It is important to distinguish between the usual sadness over a loss and this enduring pain. Brian explains how to recognize the difference an...

Send us Fan Mail This episode is about how children deal with loss. We begin by asserting that children, even the youngest, do experience grief. We share some pertinent insights from an article in Social Work Today. Then we offer 7 practical things that we can do to assist the hurting kids we care so deeply about. As usual, we share from our own stories of loss, and finish with our “something to t...

Send us Fan Mail Finding the Love of God, or more to the point, finding the God of love in our most painful and difficult times can be very challenging. Prayers may appear to go unheard and unanswered. Life regrets and hurts can surface, creating an urge for resolution. Forgiveness, though sought after, can be both hard to extend and to receive. This is part 2 of Brian's interview with spirit...

Send us Fan Mail November 11th is Remembrance Day in Canada, or Armistice Day in Great Britain and other parts of the world. It’s Veteran’s Day in the United States. This Day marks the occasion when WWI officially ended, at the 11th hour on the 11th Day of the 11th month in 1918. Though pinned to the end of conflict of WWI, it is of course a time of remembering and honoring all our veterans, in pa...

Send us Fan Mail Where is God in my pain? My interview with Michael Rose settles firmly on the assertion that God’s fundamental approach to us is of love. How that love is at work and God's exact intentions are not always what we might expect or hope for, but his love is certain. We take up the 5 most common questions of Faith as presented by Chaplain John Moerman in our first episode, and ex...

Send us Fan Mail In our last episode, Brian talked about what are very normal feelings and responses to loss. Our listeners were encouraged to consider that they are normal, not alone and not without hope of feeling better. In this episode, we will be picking up from there, with our own personal stories of grief and the discovery of a method of response that offers genuine help. In addition to Bri...