The Ex-Good Girl Podcast

In this episode, I sit down with erotic wholeness guide Darshana Avila to talk about embodiment, authenticity, and coming home to the body. Darshana was featured on Netflix’s Sex, Love & Goop , which was one of my early introductions to a broader idea of eroticism as I began to unravel my good girl conditioning. We explore what happens when women don’t know what they want or don’t trust their...

For a long time, codependency has been framed as weakness or passivity—that’s why so many strong, capable, high-functioning women hear that word and immediately think, that is absolutely not me . In this episode, I explore where the concept of codependency actually came from and why that original definition often doesn’t fit. When we widen the lens, codependency starts to look a lot more like over...

Improving your conflict skills isn’t about finding the perfect words—it’s about understanding why conflict feels so hard in the first place. When your body believes that speaking up could cost you connection, of course it freezes, softens, or stays quiet. In this episode, I talk about how our nervous systems learned early on that conflict wasn’t safe, and why that doesn’t mean something is wrong w...

We are living through an incredibly intense political, social, and cultural moment, and it’s easy to fall into the despair and overwhelm of it all. In this episode, I’m sharing a framework that helps me make sense of what's happening and hold onto hope. Spiral dynamics explains how humans organize around shared value systems, and what happens when those systems collide and begin to collapse. While...

Is your social media feed overflowing with New Year’s resolutions and tips to optimize your life? This mindset can feel overwhelming, so instead of pushing for the “perfect” 2026, I’m offering something else in this episode: five questions I return to again and again to recalibrate my relationship with myself. These questions aren’t about productivity or self-improvement. They’re an invitation to...

Learning to have my own back is the most powerful thing I’ve ever done for myself, which is why I’m bringing back this essential episode as we head into the new year. Many women internalize their mistakes, leading to a spiral of shameful thoughts that can be very draining. But how can we shut that down? If we bully ourselves, then we're not safe with ourselves, and we're not safe anywhere. You des...

This week, I’m bringing back one of the most meaningful and widely listened-to episodes of the podcast. The patriarchal, capitalist, Western way of life imposes certain values and expectations on the way women think, feel, and choose to live. When we fail to meet these expectations, we can often feel lackluster or unsatisfied. Even if we do attain these expectations, there is always another critiq...

A lot of the women I work with are carrying the same fear: the fear of disappointing other people. We were taught that being good means being nice, low-maintenance, and emotionally contained–even when it costs us. But staying silent doesn’t just strain our relationships; it takes a real toll on our bodies and our health. In this episode, I explore how self-silencing is making women sick, why it qu...

Some social structures can hold us for a time, but if they don’t expand as we grow, they eventually become suffocating and cause more harm than good. The decision to step out of that container can feel destabilizing, but it opens you up to a deeper sense of self-trust and allows you to see your own growth with more clarity. In part two of my conversation with licensed therapist Kendra Hill, we exp...

People-pleasing and codependent tendencies often stem from a religious upbringing. In my own journey of unraveling those behaviors, I’ve had to confront what I was taught to believe about God, obedience, and how “being good” kept me in line. In part one of my conversation with licensed therapist Kendra Hill, we define religious trauma and explore how fear, bypassing, and chronic self-surveillance...

In this episode, I talk with coach and host of The Highly Sensitive Woman podcast, Allyssya Gossett. Sensitivity has shaped Allyssya’s life and how she moves through the world, and now she helps other highly sensitive women understand that nothing is “wrong” with them, but that there’s actually incredible strength in the way they’re wired. Today, we talk about what it means to be highly sensitive...

We all want the holidays to feel meaningful and connected, but the pressure to meet expectations often pulls us away from what truly matters to us. Between obligations, traditions, cooking, cleaning, and planning, we often miss out on quality time with the people we care about or a chance to rest. If you’re exhausted just thinking about putting on another holiday for everyone else, this episode wi...

Many of us know that grief isn’t linear, yet so much of what we’re taught still has us trying to get it “right.” In this conversation, I’m joined by Krista St-Germain, life coach, grief guide for widows, and host of The Widowed Mom Podcast . Krista shares how she helps women navigate grief with self-compassion, gentleness, and kindness, and stop making themselves wrong for what they feel. This epi...

On the surface, high-achieving people-pleasers are admired by everyone. We seem to have it all together—never complaining about our workload and always showing up prepared and polished. But the effort to make everything look easy, even when we’re struggling, comes at a huge cost. In this episode, I discuss why we do this and how to start releasing ourselves from the constant performance so we can...

Our good girl programming is built on the certainty that if we follow the rules and keep everyone happy, we’ll belong. But what happens when stepping into deeper love and connection also means stepping into the uncertainty that comes with unraveling that conditioning? In this episode, I talk with Meagan Skidmore, Life Transformation Coach and author of TransparentSEE: How I Learned to SEE through...

Sometimes it's hard to imagine how we can stay in relationships where there are huge differences–political, religious, or otherwise. In this conversation with my friend Katherine Golub on her podcast Conflict Decoded , I talk about how I’ve worked with the part of myself that just wants to stay safe–to only talk to people who agree with me and see information that confirms my beliefs–to stay in re...

Even with the powerful growth that can happen in coaching, the pressure cooker we’re all living in—the broken systems, the financial stress, the world that feels terrifying—can make everything feel harder, and much of it is beyond our control. But it doesn’t feel hard because you’re weak; it feels hard because it is hard. In this episode, I talk about how remarkable it is that we keep going—keep s...

Conflict is one of the most paradoxical things I’ve encountered—in my own life and in the lives of my clients. For those of us who have been shaped by good girl conditioning, conflict most often feels like danger and disconnection. But when it happens within a container of safety and self-connection, it becomes a doorway to vulnerability, intimacy, and power. In this episode, I explore why we avoi...

Because every one of us has been raised with the good girl rules—to be nice, agreeable, and never rock the boat—almost every woman I work with has the habit of over-apologizing. You’re capable, you’re accomplished, and you work hard, yet “sorry” slips out at the beginning of every sentence. In this episode, we explore how over-apologizing hurts you and how to practice a different way of showing up...

When you stop outsourcing your safety, belonging, and worth, you discover the freedom of authenticity–of knowing who you are and what you want. In this episode, I speak with Béa Albina about her new book, End Emotional Outsourcing: How to Overcome Your Codependent, Perfectionist, and People-Pleasing Habits . You’ll hear how this book not only outlines a clear path to end this painful way of living...

Do you edit parts of yourself out of relationships because you're afraid of how people will react? Do you self-silence when you know what you have to say might not be pleasing to others? There is real discomfort in showing up authentically because it means risking rejection from the people we’re closest to. But the alternative comes with its own pain: the sadness and loneliness of not being seen f...

When you’re asked to take on extra work, stay late at the office, or do a favor for a friend or family member, do you ever say “yes” automatically, without thinking about what it will actually cost you? This habit is known as auto-accommodating, and it’s so common among people pleasers that I've decided to dedicate an episode to it. In this episode, we explore the programming behind auto-accommoda...

Have you ever caught yourself in a self-doubt spiral, wondering if you’re overreacting, if you’re missing something, or if everyone else just knows better than you? The experience of self-doubt is so familiar for women, especially because of the patriarchal system we live in. But you deserve to feel confident in your emotions and your assessments. In this episode, I dive into why it feels so autom...

I’m so excited to welcome Katherine Golub to the podcast today. Katherine and I have so much in common–not only our journeys of breaking free from good girl rules, but also our commitment to community organizing and social change. She is a coach for leaders and activists who want to continue showing up for their communities without burning out. In this conversation, we explore the polarity between...

In this conversation, I’m joined by the author of Sovereign , hypnotist, and fellow ex-Mormon, Michaelann Gardner. Sovereign explores chronic pain, marriage, and faith in a way that connects to the experiences and stories of so many women—even those who don’t share the same religious background. It’s about sex, disordered eating, and divorce, but it’s also about finding your desire and allowing it...