The Drink Tank

Not sure what quips are but they make me giggle a little. I do know all about flaps though and let me tell you they slap. Its the new thing all the kids are doing it so tune in and learn about the new craze. Its all about flaps now. Flap it in the morning. Flap it with your friends. Own your flaps. Take a nap post flap. Fap to a flap. I think we can all enjoy it and we should all tune into it. Don...

Whine all you want but the French are the new Italians and we treat them as such.  All things French are now the worst. French bread. Fuck you. French Kissing. Gross. French onion dip. Not the worst but some things have to be collateral damage. So pardon my French, or don't cause they don't deserve it, butt fuck it all. This is a grape episode and it will be raisin your expectations for...

Ok well we figure some shit out. It is the end of beer. So a solemn occasion. Ok well beer always comes back but for a while it may be gone. For the podcast I am willing to lean in and it will be gone for the next year if we make it that long. Either way we made it a year and this is the last from this generation. So order from your favorite food truck and enjoy a revealing episode. Send us Fan Ma...

Sometimes the greatest things have the worst repercussions. A hot date can end in terrible blue balls. A great drunk can end in a terrible hangover. And a perfect snow day can end in a terrible slushy nightmare. It is puzzling how such great experiences are ruined by themselves. This is why I refuse to ever be happy, misery is always just a heart beat away. Join me on my tour of all the miserable...

People are stupid and so is the government. If you agree with that then our takes on how will be REALLY stupid. Since most things are stupid anyway just lean into it and accept that stupid is as stupid does. So let us, as professionals in stupidity, guide you on this terrible tour. From how we drive on roads to how we pay for them we talk about things.  These are hard to write. I am starting to th...

Still unsure what happened here. Sometimes things get out of hand. Alcohol happens. Oh well.  Send us Fan Mail Support the show

At the end of the day none of us have any real control over our lives. We cling to the small things we can control and we hold tight. Every once in a while our eyes are opened to the idea that with enough coordination we have more control than we believe. Alone we are weak together we are strong.  One day we may realize this and take control but realistically we all prefer the comfort of the lie a...

Oh man. This is a podcast. We sat down and recorded what we talked about while we drank. We talked back and forth for an hour or so. It was great fun. We laughed and laughed the whole time. You probably wont enjoy it. It was mostly for us. That is all.  Send us Fan Mail Support the show

Some birthdays mean more than others. Some grant us wisdom, some perspective and more happiness health and progress. Others give us nothing but another year under our belt and the false idea that we are better than others cause we made it this far. That is what this is. Parker made it another revolution around the sun. He gained nothing but that. We are still terrible people with terrible thoughts...

At the end of the day I think we all know we are being played. From the moment we wake up.... before we put on our make up... we are getting played. Our society wants our money and the best way to get the money is to make you think you are spending your money wisely while spending it poorly. Brushing on these topics and really sinking our teeth into how much crap is shoveled into our mouth we reve...

There are times in life where you know you have a bad idea and you immediately abort. Then there are times when you think you have a good idea and you realize it is shitty. This is neither of those. We actively know we have shitty ideas and run full sprint into them. I mean we don't follow through with anything but we talk about them like they are good ideas... which is just as bad. We willin...

Four scores and seven years ago IHOP was still called IHOP and then they changed it to IHOB and then they realized marketing is a thing and nobody was going to call it anything different and nobody liked their burgers so they changed it back. That is basically was happens with our podcast we are lighthearted then we get drunk and angry, a pattern that anyone who drinks is bound to fall into and th...

Holiday Podcast Cookies By TheDrinkTank The cookies we are discovering today are the result of at least 60 years of combined discovery and experimentation. The results may be lacking but that is just the way the cookie crumbles... Now for the recipe. It was 1964 the last time these were made and that is no mistake. Ok Just kidding but fucking recipe books right? Who reads the story... 3 cups whisk...

Ladies and Gentlemen. WELCOME TO THE MAIIIIIN EVENT!!!! Sponsored in part by BasicallyAWashcloth the main producer of dog bibs for your kibble dribble needs and BowlsOut a charity providing clean water to dogs that drink out of puddles. In this corner weighing in at 28 ElleBees cause we dont say pound around here... Maeve the Glaive Zoltan!!!! And in this corner at a lean 20483 ounces the king of...

Firstly I would like all the pedophiles to go away. Like all the previous titles this is two loosely related topic we talk about... this is not about cornholing children so go away. I mean listen but we don't support you or your proclivities.  We have a sporting conversation of what is and isnt ok to be serious about and while Parker was SUPER wrong we let him live in his fantasy world. He do...

Throwback Tuesday? We never intend to do anything but we stumbled upon a nostalgic hole. Just long enough to relive the glory days without insisting upon them. We then start what will hopefully be a longer topic on Santa and his new role in todays day and age. Its the end of a long year so we may have to stretch some shit out. So tune in next week when we do what we said we would do... which I alr...

Thanksgiving is the worst. I don't mean the food cause that shit is delicious. I mean the obligations. Some people love their families and even I enjoy spending time with my family at times. But tying up a day in the middle of one of the only long vacations of the year with all this bullshit is just ridiculous. Can we not just do our family shit on some other weekend and enjoy our time off. I...

Ok so there is no actual organization to this podcast. If you have heard one you know what I am talking about. This falls deep within out lack of organization and really should just be titled stream of consciousness.  We get drunk and talk about nothing. There is nothing special about this episode but lets be honest you are not reading this anyway. This is fluff. This makes it seem like we have so...

TheDrinkTank is a podcast meant for people with excess time and weak agendas. Those who consume TheDrinkTank may experience depression, confusion, loss of appetite, lack of sleep, auditory and visual disturbances, rectal incontinence, and overstimulation of the funny bone. If your funny bone is stimulated from 4 or more hours please seek medical help. TheDrinkTank is not considered safe for those...

The elections are done but the civil war is still to come. The world is changing but if you are looking for a little bit of consistency we are here for you. We solve some world problems with no regard for the cost or collateral damages to our solutions. We have clearly learned from politics. Our solutions lead us to what may be the base problems to how our society has decided to choose our work fo...

When two men come together and have an abundance of ignorance and want to share their ignorance with the world. One man spends his money on server space from an online site and the other man inserts his card into a machine to upgrade their microphone so people don't judge his audio prowess. After nine months a podcast is born... People love their own podcast but HATE every other one cause it...

Their creepy and their kooky. Talk about their Poopy. Their all together Loopy. The DrinkTank Halloween! Their podcast is alright. And this time with a fright! They are not very bright. The DrinkTank Halloween. Drunk! Wrong! Angry! So turn the volume up. And come and say whats up! Were gonna get fucked up! The DrinkTank Halloween! Their creepy and their kooky. Talk about their Poopy. Their all tog...

The problem with podcasting is that it is one of the only means by which introverts can express themselves in an extroverted way. The only way to get new content, however, is to go out and be extroverted. You would think that COVID would be a great way to subvert this issue as we can now go out and experience life outside the comfortable walls at home and avoid personal interactions but this is ju...

Like the super bowl hangover we stall a bit after last weeks performance. I am not going to pretend that we bring more than like... half an episode. BAC and general frustration rise as the time ticks by. But I want to stress that it is still totally worth a listen... but don't feel bad if you want to tune out at the end. I get it... We are not for everybody. Enjoy what you can and well... tun...

Long hiatus  due to extenuating circumcisions butt we don't dick around with this podcast and we came back long and hard. As you can see the dick jokes are on fleek or whatever the millennials say these days. If you are a regular listener this will not disappoint but if this is your first listen you should know that these synopses don't and won't ever tell you anything. Tune in and...