The Drink Tank

This was a fun one. It has comedy, it has introspection, it has drama maybe, and it has the best accidental long term twist at the end. If you listen for nothing else the end twist that effects the entirety of our podcast is worth the listen. Outside of that if you want to live your life like parker and I do then this is the most convoluted means by which to do so. We, through an inebriation filte...

Football is a hell of a drug. Nothing is worse than being shitfaced at noon. As a Seahawks fan I am willing to make sacrifices. The only real issue is that it really ruins the rest of your day... unless, that is, the rest of your day consists of drinking and recording your dumb ideas about child rearing and life in general. So GO HAWKS! and GO ALCOHOL! we have some pickled points of view but all o...

Aight well we got into one today. It started off light hearted and fun but lets be honest in this day and age there is no way to completely avoid covid BS. So that happened. Ill be honest. completely parkers fault. I take no semblance of blame. Honestly whenever there is a situation that is ruined it is cause of parker. So Listen to the first half. Which is my fault. Then listen to the back half w...

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Sometimes life gives you lemons. Sometimes life gives you a series of events that all culminate in disaster or sheer unadulterated awkwardness. This is either the beginning of a series of events or the culmination... Only time will tell. In the mean time you might as well kick back and experience (cause i refuse to believe you enjoy) this episode.  Send us Fan Mail Support the show

Everyone knows that one HR nightmare at work. But what if everyone one was the HR nightmare guy? Then the one "normal" person would be HR nightmare.  That is pretty much how this episode goes. We shit on the normal guy cause we don't know any different. So get on the bandwagon and spend a but bit being the HR nightmare. No HR employee was harmed in the making of this podcast. Send u...

Some gritty reboots are good like Batman. Other gritty reboots are terrible like Batman. This is our terrible gritty reboot. Now when I mean reboot I guess I mean I don't really support what we say and I am not sure why we say the things we do but it happened and I sometimes you just have to say things to get a conversation going. At the end of the day we are drunk assholes and if you have no...

Ok guys this one is on me. You can blame the drinking all you want but I assure you this is more about sheer unadulterated laziness than anything. Sure the alcohol doesn't help but neither does verbally abusing a child and I turned out fine... just lazy. So my point is that I neglected to post and now I am looking at the title and drawing the hardest of blanks. So this one is a grab bag. List...

Oh jeez man this episode. This fucking episode is all that and a bag of acid laced butt plugs. You are going to have a time. Maybe not good maybe not bad but 100% a time. Dicks butts and a new way to bond with your buddies that doesn't cause lower abdominal pain and inability to birth children 10 years later. We really open it up on this one. Maybe our awesomeness is contagious... maybe it is...

Thomas the tank engine is a bitch. You know it I know it and the youth of America knows it. How that piece of shit stays on air and continues to have viewers is beyond me. He wasn't the engine that could.. he was the engine that was available. He is clearly the white privilege of trains. Kids are dumb and their connection to trains is proof of it. So jump on the rainbow connection and conduct...

Surviving a heat wave and still delivering subpar entertainment is a skill that needs to be part of the Olympics. We stayed cool and presented our hot takes like we were genetically predisposed. If the heat got you down and you are imprisoned by the radius of your A/C unit then tune in to our latest batch of debaucherous BS. The temperature may have stabilized but we are still very clearly unstabl...

Its is weird that men have almost no knowledge about dicks. Like you know your own dick but likely very little other information. Sure porn is a general source of dick knowledge but it is heavily skewed. Dicks in real life are WAY bigger. The same may be true with women and vaginas but they are more open with their friends maybe... I don't know in my head women are naked whenever they are out...

A wise man once said that it is always best to get life advice from two drunk idiots who can barely live their own lives. So if you want to get healthy and become  the best you listen to us. We may know what SHOULD be done even if we don't follow our own ideas. It is much easier to give orders than take them. SO DO WHAT WE SAY AND LISTEN TO OUR EVERY WORD!  Send us Fan Mail Support the show

Oh yeah. We doing this. We are talking and drinking and you are laughing and driving. We are all in heaven. These are the best times of our lives!!! Which means its all downhill from here. But don't run it is terribly dangerous unless you are very nimble or athletic. But you arn't. Don't lie. So put some headphones on and keep listening butt move your ass a little bit. Sweat it up b...

If you were given the opportunity to colonize another planet would you? There are barren planets out there just waiting for your DNA and now, or at least when i am done formulating my plan for a company, is the best time to give those planets the things they need to start life. For 10 easy payments of $69.69 you too could colonize a planet. Maybe. No promises are made for the success of the coloni...

You don't read this shit anyway. I put minutes into crafting these sentences and nothing. So... phone, number, news, stocks, meme, india, chair, bubble, chicken, cloth, window, sink, knife, company, minimum wage, bags, alcohol, covid, spike, google, feet. Ok that should really fuck up some search results. carry on. Send us Fan Mail Support the show

Ok so... id like to say that the title is more of cheeky reference to before forced into a situation with a karen and being raped by the experience... Id LIKE to say that. But I can't. We literally talked about rape for an uncomfortable amount of time. Not really directly but directly enough that it stuck with me how much it was said through at least half a fifth. So... Sorry? I don't kn...

The wrong guest shows up for an in-depth conversation about not him. Ok it wasn't that in depth... we don't care who our guests are nobody matters as much as us. But we did technically have a guest and his dog ruined everything. So don't blame us for poor quality podcasting it is never our fault. Blame the average man not everyone can handle being put in the spot light and this amat...

OK this is awkward but I honestly don't know what we talked about. I know I do this to you guys a lot but lets just assume we didn't talk about anything worth remembering... So when you zone off while driving you wont miss anything!! Its like we planned this out. So click it or ticket and lets help you feel like you teleported to your destination. Let us drone on and you just keep chuggi...

There is no answer to the biggest questions in the world. Everyone has different experiences and comes to their own personal answers there own way. We can only experience life through our own eyes and that alone skews the answers to these questions. That being said we have got all the answers to all of life's big questions. We have solved the fundamental problems with the world and we will gi...

If anyone can truly harness the aura of "the flaw is what makes it perfect" it has to be us. We have so many flaws one of them has to make us perfect. If we are not perfect it is clearly only due to many people constantly working against us to keep us down. When we die we will be huge. We will NEVER end cause we will leave enough information behind that AI will continue our podcast till...

Dealing with people is the worst. Dealing with people this deep in COVID is a goddamn mine field. Some people have thrived in these times and some have not but I have just gotten lost in the monotony.  The are too many obstacles now. Can we ever get back to normal. I say no. And while it is problematic lets be honest it may be best. I like some parts of this nightmare. And some things may actually...

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To prove how bad of  a tiper i am i am not going to correct anything that i type for this descrption. this may also show how bad of a speller i am but what care you dl. you win some you lise some. it is not all moy fault thought casue i am also dunrk. Oh man how cliche that i spelled drunk wrong. ok nailed it that time.  I should probably do this evert tim cause it ckinda speaks to how we do the p...

Politically we are ruined. There is little we can do to change the outlook of America. There is an off chance that we have already solved it and we don't even realize. Like the stories from the past and our forgotten experiences we have opted to forget that we have solved politics for future generations. Discover the way that we solve the problems of the future. Also friends was a bad show. L...