The Drink Tank

With thanksgiving over and the 100 year flood raging on we reflect on our lives and realize that maybe we suck at it. Now nobody is perfect and you can't expect anyone to live a perfect life but holy crap we are bad at even the smallest things. So listen to us make you seem like a better person than us. I mean you are better than us but maybe for more surprising reasons than you suspect. Ok t...

At the end of the day we can only count on a few things. One is that we will get drunk and talk nonsense. One thing we CANT count on is that we are real people and not AI that have studies the worst of human kind and this is just a grand experiment. Ill bet on that though. Cause there is no way we are real human people and we have this shitty of an attitude or personality. But you never really kno...

This could not be more of a stream of consciousness. We are drunk and stupid. We have good ideas... maybe, and bad ideas definitely. We flood the air waves with our reactions and observations of the great Washington Flood of 2021 and realize that people are dumb and blow shit way out of proportion. We are made of steel and nothing can touch us. Still not sure if this is a good or a bad thing. basi...

Ok this is 100% my fault. I was supposed to post days ago and I failed. Lets be honest. Not the first time and not the last time. Sorry. We did some things. Then dove deep into some other things... basically it was fun. but not too fun. but not boring either. So. Like. maybe what you want? I dont know it has been a while.  Send us Fan Mail Support the show

The ban is off and the drinks are flowing. It took a bit to finally get there but my first drink in over a month and my general takes on how being sober changed my life. So many things happened in the past couple of weeks and it all comes to a head in this episode. We solve life problems and complain about the things we don't have control over. There is still so much to talk about so we leave...

In the final installment of sober October we forget to update how being sober is going but we both stayed sober. So... win lose. Clearly being sober is not working for us. We are just as forgetful and personally WAY more Lazy. Other than that it is more of the same nonsense. Our lawyer says we have to apologize for any and all things that we said that may or may not have offended someone. And for...

Holy crap can I talk. Well it helps that parker is equally as good at interrupting but this episode is mostly me trying to get a bad story out. It is long winded and clearly has no point. So sorry about that. The end result is that health care is garbage. There I just saved you two hours. If you are a torturer or police warden then put this shit on loop and I just did your job for you. I accept so...

I am much less creative when I am sober. This may lead to a worse podcast or a better one. I don't know but it most definitely will lead to a worse episode description. So... while we may have solved the issue with shoplifting and opened the door to a new world of clothing purchasing we also scoff at the direction that styles are going. Either way not much different this week other than parke...

SoberOctober is the invention of dumb people with no self control who need an excuse to be interesting. That being said... I am participating. SO! we will be checking in all month with the progress of that bullshit. Outside of that everything else is boring. We try to innovate communication and prove how dumb we really are. At least we are not conspiracy nuts but we are certainly flirting with it....

Some people make poor decisions. Ok I lied. ALL people make poor decisions. Our poor decisions are far more hilarious and playful than everyone else's so that makes them more important. I think. Ok yeah I am pretty sure. But that is kind of our wheel house. Not knowing but pretending and just BEING more important. So tune in. Cause we help you pass the time. Which is all anyone is really look...

We slow down our high paced lives to dive into some more philosophical ideas. It wasn't on purpose but sometimes there just isn't a lot going on and you have to fall back on the basics. So our basics is life in general. What is going on and how do you view it. It is the fundamental things that truly define us. So this may be the most defining episode of all. I hope not though cause I lik...

This was a fun one. It has comedy, it has introspection, it has drama maybe, and it has the best accidental long term twist at the end. If you listen for nothing else the end twist that effects the entirety of our podcast is worth the listen. Outside of that if you want to live your life like parker and I do then this is the most convoluted means by which to do so. We, through an inebriation filte...

Football is a hell of a drug. Nothing is worse than being shitfaced at noon. As a Seahawks fan I am willing to make sacrifices. The only real issue is that it really ruins the rest of your day... unless, that is, the rest of your day consists of drinking and recording your dumb ideas about child rearing and life in general. So GO HAWKS! and GO ALCOHOL! we have some pickled points of view but all o...

Aight well we got into one today. It started off light hearted and fun but lets be honest in this day and age there is no way to completely avoid covid BS. So that happened. Ill be honest. completely parkers fault. I take no semblance of blame. Honestly whenever there is a situation that is ruined it is cause of parker. So Listen to the first half. Which is my fault. Then listen to the back half w...

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Sometimes life gives you lemons. Sometimes life gives you a series of events that all culminate in disaster or sheer unadulterated awkwardness. This is either the beginning of a series of events or the culmination... Only time will tell. In the mean time you might as well kick back and experience (cause i refuse to believe you enjoy) this episode.  Send us Fan Mail Support the show

Everyone knows that one HR nightmare at work. But what if everyone one was the HR nightmare guy? Then the one "normal" person would be HR nightmare.  That is pretty much how this episode goes. We shit on the normal guy cause we don't know any different. So get on the bandwagon and spend a but bit being the HR nightmare. No HR employee was harmed in the making of this podcast. Send u...

Some gritty reboots are good like Batman. Other gritty reboots are terrible like Batman. This is our terrible gritty reboot. Now when I mean reboot I guess I mean I don't really support what we say and I am not sure why we say the things we do but it happened and I sometimes you just have to say things to get a conversation going. At the end of the day we are drunk assholes and if you have no...

Ok guys this one is on me. You can blame the drinking all you want but I assure you this is more about sheer unadulterated laziness than anything. Sure the alcohol doesn't help but neither does verbally abusing a child and I turned out fine... just lazy. So my point is that I neglected to post and now I am looking at the title and drawing the hardest of blanks. So this one is a grab bag. List...

Oh jeez man this episode. This fucking episode is all that and a bag of acid laced butt plugs. You are going to have a time. Maybe not good maybe not bad but 100% a time. Dicks butts and a new way to bond with your buddies that doesn't cause lower abdominal pain and inability to birth children 10 years later. We really open it up on this one. Maybe our awesomeness is contagious... maybe it is...

Thomas the tank engine is a bitch. You know it I know it and the youth of America knows it. How that piece of shit stays on air and continues to have viewers is beyond me. He wasn't the engine that could.. he was the engine that was available. He is clearly the white privilege of trains. Kids are dumb and their connection to trains is proof of it. So jump on the rainbow connection and conduct...

Surviving a heat wave and still delivering subpar entertainment is a skill that needs to be part of the Olympics. We stayed cool and presented our hot takes like we were genetically predisposed. If the heat got you down and you are imprisoned by the radius of your A/C unit then tune in to our latest batch of debaucherous BS. The temperature may have stabilized but we are still very clearly unstabl...

Its is weird that men have almost no knowledge about dicks. Like you know your own dick but likely very little other information. Sure porn is a general source of dick knowledge but it is heavily skewed. Dicks in real life are WAY bigger. The same may be true with women and vaginas but they are more open with their friends maybe... I don't know in my head women are naked whenever they are out...

A wise man once said that it is always best to get life advice from two drunk idiots who can barely live their own lives. So if you want to get healthy and become  the best you listen to us. We may know what SHOULD be done even if we don't follow our own ideas. It is much easier to give orders than take them. SO DO WHAT WE SAY AND LISTEN TO OUR EVERY WORD!  Send us Fan Mail Support the show

Oh yeah. We doing this. We are talking and drinking and you are laughing and driving. We are all in heaven. These are the best times of our lives!!! Which means its all downhill from here. But don't run it is terribly dangerous unless you are very nimble or athletic. But you arn't. Don't lie. So put some headphones on and keep listening butt move your ass a little bit. Sweat it up b...