The Dom Sub Living BDSM and Kink Podcast

#121 What is it really like inside a BDSM dungeon? We're taking you behind the scenes of our New Year’s Eve night in Los Angeles, from safety rules and live, performances to playing on the St. Andrew’s Cross and ending at Denny’s. Listen now and join our online kink community. ➡️ Our free community: https://domsubliving.com/community ➡️ All-Access Pass: https://domsubliving.com/allaccess

#120 Kink curious but overwhelmed? 👉 Take the free kink personality type quiz: https://domsubliving.com/quiz You don’t need extreme play, expensive toys, or a dungeon to start BDSM. In this episode, we're sharing a clear, beginner-friendly path to consent, power exchange, starter kinks, first scenes, and building a real Dom/sub dynamic that actually works in real life. Follow the show and li...

#119 24/7 D/s isn’t something you jump into overnight. We're breaking down the real phases that take couples from bedroom-only kink into a lived 24/7 power exchange—without rushing, forcing labels, or burning out. If you feel stuck in the middle, this will make the path clearer. Follow the show so you don’t miss what comes next. ➡️ Free BDSM contract template: https://domsubliving.com/contrac...

#118 I almost didn’t release this episode—and that’s exactly why I had to. In this raw episode, I'm sharing the good, bad, and ugly of a tough year: surviving long-distance D/s, facing kink community drama, and the hard boundaries I drew to protect myself and my work. Listen through the end to hear what’s coming next—and why I'm not backing down. ➡️ Access the free Resource Library: http...

#117 One of you is kinky, the other... not so much. Is that a deal-breaker—or just a hard conversation you’ve been avoiding? Relationship coach Amanda Dames breaks down how kinky/vanilla couples can talk about desire without shame, translate needs clearly, and decide what’s actually sustainable long-term. No pressure. No fixing. Just honesty. Listen now, then follow Amanda Dames and check out The...

#116 What do you do when real life and D/s collide? 👉 Join the free Dom Sub Living Community: https://domsubliving.com/community Today Jay and Alesandra answer your biggest Dom/sub questions: long-distance rules, sub drop, fear of judgment, family boundaries, punishment, switching, and even dirty talk styles. Join our Dom Sub Living Community to ask your own questions next episode! ➡️ Join the fr...

#115 Slave training doesn’t fall apart because the sub fails — it falls apart because the Dom can’t stay consistent. In this episode, Jay shares how our Master/slave training began, why most structures collapse, and the one thing Doms must master to keep their dynamic strong, sustainable, and consensual. Tap play to learn the simple shift that makes slave training actually work. ➡️ Free weekly new...

#114 Can you kneel for your partner and still stand for equality? ❤️ Download your free cheat sheet, 'How to Be a Good Sub': https://domsubliving.com/sub In this episode, we're exploring how feminism and submission actually complete each other. Learn why power exchange isn’t powerless, how shame transforms into choice, and what true consent means in D/s. 💬 Got thoughts? Comment or...

#113 Why do some scenes leave deep bruises and others nothing at all? In this episode we're unpacking bruises, branding, and marks in BDSM – what they mean emotionally, the science of bruising, how to explain them to vanilla people, and when branding goes too far. Listen now to feel safer and more seen. ➡️ Access the free BDSM Resource Library: https://domsubliving.com/free ➡️ Join our free c...

#112 Ever met a Dom who can control a room without saying a word? In this episode, we're revealing the 10 hidden power plays only experienced Dominants use – how silence, attention, and anticipation build real obedience and trust. Learn the quiet secrets that make submission magnetic. Which power play will you try first? ➡️ Free Dominant Quick Start Guide: https://domsubliving.com/dominant ➡️...

#111 What if everything you’ve heard about BDSM and kink is wrong? In this episode, we're busting the biggest Dom/sub myths holding people back—from feeling too inexperienced to thinking BDSM is immoral. Learn the truth about who really belongs in kink. Listen now and start unlearning the lies about BDSM. ➡️ Access the free Resource Library: https://domsubliving.com/free ➡️ Show notes and mor...

#110 BDSM isn’t just fantasy—it’s how real people grow. Alesandra and Deborah Kat get honest about living a D/s lifestyle: consent, safewords, limits, protocols, weekly check-ins, 24/7 dynamics, parenting, money, safety, community—plus the fun, kinky parts. Loved it? Follow Deborah’s 'Better Sex Podcast' and subscribe for more real talk. ➡️ Deborah Kat's 'Better Sex Podcast&apo...

#109 What makes a BDSM scene truly work ? We talk about limits all the time—but rarely about the things we actually need to feel connected, grounded, and fulfilled. In this episode, Alesandra opens up about her real must-haves for every scene and why yours matter just as much. Reflect on your own and share them with us after listening. ➡️ Free Yes/No/Maybe checklist: https://domsubliving.com/check...

#108 Can BDSM be spiritual? In this episode, we're exploring the meditative and transformative side of power exchange — from subspace and Domspace to mindful rituals, breathwork, and spiritual aftercare. Learn how intention and awareness can turn any scene into a sacred experience. ➡️ Discover 20 rituals to make your dynamic sacred: https://domsubliving.com/rituals ➡️ Show notes and more: htt...

#107 Worried your sub will see right through your nerves? In this coaching call replay, Alesandra and her Dom, Jay, share real-world advice on how Dominants build confidence before and during a scene—through communication, self-awareness, and practice that makes play feel natural and fun. Listen now to learn how real Doms grow confident in every scene. ➡️ Join our free community: https://domsubliv...

#106 Locktober isn’t just denial—it’s connection, power, and play. 🔒 Free Cheat Sheet to level up your submission: https://domsubliving.com/sub Learn what Locktober is, its meme roots, how to prep and size devices, keyholder dynamics, solo play, the Chaster app, real student stories, and pitfalls to avoid. Subscribe for more kink-positive conversations. ➡️ Free Submissive Cheat Sheet: https://dom...

#105 People think masochists will try anything… but I’ve got hard limits too. In this episode, I share the story of why electroplay makes me cringe, what happened when my teen mistook a new gadget for a toy, and how true trust in TPE means respecting boundaries. Tune in now and follow the show for more Dom/sub stories. ➡️ Free checklist of 50 kinks: https://domsubliving.com/checklist ➡️ Dom Sub Li...

#104 What actually happens your first time at a dungeon or munch? Do people really play in front of strangers? Or do you just stand there and watch?” In this episode, we're sharing what to expect, what to wear, how to talk to people, and spot red flags so you feel confident. Don’t risk looking awkward or creepy – tune in to learn how to make your first event a success. ➡️ Grab the free Resour...

#103 Why is now the best time to start living the BDSM lifestyle? Find out on this episode of Dom Sub Living! We're addressing common excuses for delaying and sharing three factors that make this the ideal moment to start. Discover the potential risks you may not have thought about that could change the future landscape. Don't wait any longer to explore BDSM. Take action now and embrace...

#102 If your idea of a BDSM contract comes from 50 Shades, we need to talk. 👉 Grab your free template at https://domsubliving.com/contract In this episode, I take you inside my real-life BDSM contract—what’s in it, what’s not, and the surprising clause that saved our relationship. Tune in to learn how to write a Dom/sub contract that’s safe, hot, and functional. ➡️ Download your free contract PDF...

#101 The podcast is changing! Does that mean less content? Nope. It means more real talk, raw stories, and deeper insights than ever. In this episode, we're sharing why the format is shifting, what’s ahead for the YouTube and audio versions, and exciting updates like the Kink Bundle and my upcoming book. Don’t miss it—subscribe and share! ➡️ Sign up for our newsletter: https://domsubliving.co...

#100 Think kink is simple? After 100 episodes, we're revealing 10 hard-earned lessons that go beyond floggers and fantasy. ✅ Subscribe and grab your free BDSM Lifestyle roadmap at https://domsubliving.com/follow From tackling judgment to finding community, discover truths that shape real D/s dynamics and mental health. Don’t miss this milestone episode of raw stories, freebies, and celebrati...

#099 DDLG isn’t just cute outfits and bedtime routines—it’s a deep, powerful dynamic that blends nurture, structure, and trust. 💕 Grab your free DDLG starter list at https://domsubliving.com/ddlg In this episode, we're breaking down what being a babygirl, little, or middle really looks like, plus the differences between DDLG and DDBG. Listen now and join the conversation. ➡️ Free DDLG starte...

#098 Spankings aren’t cutting it anymore. 👉 Grab the free punishment list at https://domsubliving.com/punish In this episode, we're sharing 5 Dom/sub punishment ideas that actually work—yes, even for masochists. From writing lines to orgasm denial, we're breaking down what to use, when to use it, and why some punishments backfire. Don’t miss #3—it changed everything. ➡️ 30+ punishment i...

#097 Is kink your secret superpower? In this fun and fearless interview, Alesandra joins actress and comedian Amy Vorpahl to talk BDSM 101, living unapologetically kinky, and what it really means to be a Dom or sub in everyday life. Listen now! ➡️ Amy's website: https://www.amyvorpahl.com ➡️ Join Amy's Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/amyvorpahl ➡️ Follow Amy on Instagram: https://www.in...