The Dildorks

This week we’re tackling the sex and kink elements of long-distance relationships! Tune in to hear our best Skype sex tips, how protocol works in LDRs, and whether we would have sex on an airplane.   Mile-High Club | Skype Sex | Feeling Silly | Flirting & Foreplay | “Real Sex” | Accessibility | Protocol | Sadomasochism | We-Vibe Sync | Aftercare | Protocol Changes | Shopping | Research Tasks | Col...

We’ve both been in multiple long-distance relationships, so today we’re discussing the weird, wonderful, and sometimes wistful realities of LDRs! What Counts? | Initial Opinions | Because Internet | Day-to-Day | Unreality | Chemistry | Communication Style | Touch | Dates | Finances | Endgame | Polyamory | Balance | Traits | Soulmates | Asking | Important Conversations | Time Management | Emotional...

Bex is back from the hospital after his top surgery! This week he’s telling us the story of his experience (with some contributions from Kate, who was there too).   Current Status | Early Morning | Preparation | Money | Dad | Lip Ring | Anaesthesiologist | Sharpie | Joking/Coping | Misgendering | Peeing | Aromatherapy | Sex Break | Hot Nurse | Graham Crackers | Elevator | Pain | Marvel | Partners...

We sat down with therapist and educator Aida Manduley to discuss the psychological model known as attachment theory – how it works, why it matters, and (of course) how it relates to non-monogamy and kink!   What Is Attachment Theory? | Insecure | Secure | Anxious-Preoccupied | Dismissive-Avoidant | Fearful-Avoidant | Caveats | Childhood | Abuse | What to Work On | Distress Tolerance | Different Ma...

In preparation for Bex’s long-awaited top surgery, we had a conversation about his reasons for getting it, what he’s been doing to get ready for it, and what he thinks will happen during recovery and beyond.   Time Travel | Rude Questions | What Is It? | Deciding | Process | Risks | Fears | Pain | Recovery | Depression | Regrets | Saying Goodbye | Chest Hair | Looking Forward | Sex | Friends & Par...

This week rounds out our 3-part series on breakups! We’re addressing some awkward post-split situations, like reclaiming your possessions, saying goodbye to your ex’s family, and dealing with passive-aggressive tweetstorms.   Getting Back Your Stuff | Impulsive Breakups | Taking a Break | Close Quarters | New Dates | Harping On | Friends & Family | Subtweets Credits: Music by PROTODOME Artwork by...

We had more to say about breakups, so here’s another episode about the ends of relationships! Grammar/Gender Rebel | Rebounds | Staying Friends | Small Talk | Best Breakup | Pre-Negotiation | Friend Breakups | Poly Breakups | Supporting Partners | D/s Breakups Credits: Music by PROTODOME Artwork by Addison Finch Become a patron to support the show and get access to our private Discord, monthly bon...

How did it take us this long to do an episode about breakups? This week we’re discussing some of our worst splits, how we think they should be done, and what should happen afterward. Which One Is Harder? | First Breakup | Text vs. In Person | Long-Distance | Teenage Bullshit | When Is It Time? | Downleveling | Clarity | Reasons | Safety | Location | Post-Breakup Conversations | Getting Better | Un...

This week we’re interviewing Dr. Liz Powell , psychologist, speaker, and author of our favorite book on non-monogamy, Building Open Relationships . We touch on polyamory struggles, love as a verb, and creating the relationships you want, among other things!   Building Open Relationships | Jealousy | Desire-Based Approach | Breaking Up | Downleveling | Hierarchy | Flexibility | Boundaries | Perfect...

Truth or dare? We DARE you to join us this week for a discussion of sex games: different types, ways to play them, and why they might be beneficial. Travel Exhaustion | Why? | Mass Market Games | Excuses | Dulcinea Pitagora | Competition | Game Development | Strip Scrabble | Video Games | Roleplay | Reward vs. Punishment | Consent | Sex Dice | Truth or Dare | Intoxicants | Who Would You Fuck? | Ga...

This week Bex interviews his friend and roommate, sex educator and queer pirate Jo Goforth, about finding identity through fandom, positive representations of masculinity, and their new sex ed comic, among other things. Coworker Chart | Union-Busting | Fandom | A Song of Ice and Fire | X-Men | Black Sails | Resonant Characters | Quicksilver | Cosplay | Musketeers | Jake Peralta | Positive Masculin...

We’re back to smash more romantic myths this week! Hear our takes on unconditional love, jealousy, internet relationships, and more. Femme Multitasking | Someone For Everyone | Commitment | Love Conquers All | Unconditional Love | Who’s the Man? | Center of Your Universe | Obsessed | Online Relationships | Jealousy | Political Views | Cheaters | Bodily Functions | Sharing a Bed | Dressing Up | Lea...

There’s so much bullshit discourse about dating and relationships out there, so this week we’re busting romantic myths! Hear us debate first-date protocols, compatibility adages, gender stereotypes, and more. I Love You | 3rd Date | 3 Days | Hard to Get | Preserving the Mystery | Attachment Style | The First Move | Who Pays? | Mentioning Exes | Opposites Attract | Conflict | Love at First Sight |...

Kate recently came out as demisexual, so this week we’re discussing that identity: what does it mean, how does it manifest, and how does it relate to other concepts like sluttiness, responsive desire, and demiromanticism? Definitions | Romantic vs. Sexual | Identities | Oppression & Invisibility | Sex Industry | Attraction or Lack Thereof | Demiromantic | External Factors | A New Development |...

Safer sex protocols don’t have to be boring or a mood-killer! Today we’re diving into our thoughts and feelings on condoms, dental dams, STI testing, and more. TARDIS | STI Panels | Compromise | Gloves | Elevator Speech | Pushback | Contraception | Cum | Myths | Condom Skepticism | Internal Condoms | Condom Tricks | UTIs | Gloves | Fertility Tracking | Vasectomy | IUDs | Dental Dams | Fucking Tran...

Step back in time with us and let’s discuss 1950s household dynamics! Hear us weigh in on why this style of D/s is hot, complicated, and even potentially empowering. Paradigms of Power | Definition | Reclamation | Feminism & Choice | Modesty | Satisfaction | Mastery | Closeted Kinksters | House-Husband | Drag & Glamour | 24/7? | When You Don’t Live Together | M/s Language | Polyamory | Med...

Home is where the heart is, and also (often) where the sex is! This week we’re discussing the ways home decor can interplay with your sex and dating life, from beds to lighting to lube dispensers. Suction Cup Dildo | Easy Access | Lube | Condoms | Beds | Smart Home | Hospitality | Art | Air Conditioning | Partner Pics | Between Partners | Amenities We Like | Celebrity Pillows | Lube Dispenser | Nu...

Ever noticed how sometimes you can say a lot without saying anything at all? This week we're discussing the delicate art of non-verbal communication – in flirting, sex, kink, and more! Blushing | Skill Level | Reading Into It | Body Language | Proximity | Queer Intimacy | Cheating | Non-Verbal Consent | Pleasure | Overanalyzing | Cultural Influences | Saying No | Dysphoria | Screw Consent | False...

Bex just got back from TES Fest, a thought-provoking kink conference in New Jersey. This week, he recaps what he learned there, and we discuss some kinky fantasies that the workshops brought up. Hotel Privacy | DM Training | Blood Play | Raven Kaldera | Risk Assessment For Masters | Real Service | Head Pats | Knives & Scarification | Sadism | Interrogation | Facial Torture | Mind Games | Drug...

Getting the ball rolling is hard sometimes, so this week we’re discussing the intricacies of initiating sex. What are the best and worst ways to do it – and what should you do if there’s an initiation imbalance in your relationship? Do We Initiate? | Direct vs. Indirect | When Does Sex Start? | Pre-Initiation | “Hey, We Should Talk” | Butt-Rubbing | Personal Space | Allusions | Responsive Desire |...

We’re talking about body mods this week: tattoos, piercings, and how they interplay with our sex and dating lives. Tune in for tattoo advice, kinky feelings, and tales of piercings gone awry. One vs. Multiple | Lay of the Land | Sexy Feelings | Nipple Piercings | Cravings | Ownership | Kink | Roleplay | Partner-Specific Mods | Meaning | Regrets | Deciding | Designs | Finding an Artist | Visibility...

Happy Pride month! This week we’re discussing our favorite and least favorite things about Pride, from tutus and play parties to biphobia and cops. NYPD | First Events | Outfits | Play Party | Gatekeeping | Cops | Grassroots vs. Corporations | Professionally Queer | Pride Sex | Creeps | Consent | Kink | Your First Pride | Bringing People | Naked Boys Reading | Queer Liberation March | Fake Male As...

Up, up, and away: this week we’re discussing our sex drives! What is the libido, what stokes it, what tempers it, and what can you do when yours doesn’t match your partner’s? Where’d It Go? | What Is It? | Responsive Desire | NRE | High/Medium/Low | Never Enough | Sex Begets Sex | Sex Industry | Boosting Desire | “Just Do It” | Testosterone | Toning It Down | Mismatches | Environment | Antidepress...

Do you see what I see? This week, we’re discussing the visual aspects of sex, and how the acts of looking and seeing (or not) play into our sexuality. MakeLoveNotPorn | Attraction | Arousal | Nudes | FaceTime and Skype | Eyes Closed | Anxiety | Enthusiasm | Watching | Romantic Sex | “Look At Me” | Fear Play | Helen’s Toybox | Blindfolds | Onoir | Glasses | Men vs. Women | Cultural Bias | Lighting...

Take a deep breath now: it’s time to discuss sex smells (and tastes)! We divulge our fave and least fave olfactory experiences during sex, our thoughts on our own smells and tastes, and more. How Important? | Mismatches | Artificial vs. Natural | Hormones | Preparation | Tasting Yourself | No Deodorant | Favorite Spots | Perfume: The Story of a Murderer | Bad Smells | Fantastical Fetishes | Dry Mo...